I heard an interesting theory about fear of public speaking in the weekend.
You are only afraid of public speaking because you are afraid that the people in the audience are judging you. Heres the kicker, the only reason you think they are judging you is because you would be judging them in the same situation.
So stop judging others on what they are saying, disagree with them yes but respect them for voicing their opinions. Do this and you will be less afraid of public speaking.
[quote]fisch wrote:
I hate giving speeches, and even though all my experience in speech giving has been in classes up to this point I realized I need to face and conquer this fear. I also realized being able to talk and communicate your thoughts and ideas, in both a one on one conversation and in groups, is THE most important skill you can learn. Because of this, I joined a group called Toastmasters about a month ago, thanks in large part to Angry Chicken’s recommendation a long time ago. It’s too early to tell if it will make a significant impact as I’ve only given 1 speech in that group, but I believe it will.
Logically, im not afraid of standing in front of a room with people staring at me. Leading up to the actual speech im not really that nervous or anything, but once I get up there and start speaking I start shaking. I figure repetition is my only cure, which is what Toastmasters appears to be able to give me.
I would say the best way to improve (maybe the only significant way to improve) is to just get practice speaking in front of groups of people. You can read and memorize all the tips in the world about how to give a great speech, and they will help some no doubt, but you cannot memorize how to handle the anxiety and fear of actually being in front of an audience without physically doing it.[/quote]
This toastmasters sounds good. Im gonna have to do alot of presentations for uni so I’ll look into it. Thanks!
it’s the usual recipe.
Frequency
Intensity
Volume
Rest
Water
“one rep sessions” works quite well.
Find a crowd.
Go into the middle of it.
Breath. Then say “Excuse me, can anyone tell me what time is it ?”.
Just that. Nothing more. Get your answer, and move on.
Your goal : to progressively increase the number of people who will hear and listen to you.
To further increase the difficulty, you can always ask them what time is it in Ulan Bator.
[quote]JSMaxwell wrote:
Funny how different humans can be. Public speaking to large groups doesn’t bother me in the least, but ask me to have some sort of one-on-one personal type conversation and I fall apart if it doesn’t have some theme or goal in mind. I just can’t do personal chit-chat. I get sweaty and uncomfortable, exactly the same as the people that don’t like public speaking.[/quote]
It is crazy isn’t it.
I only like one to one personal conversations if it’s with someone I know and trust. Plus I only realy get chatty with new people if I get a good “vibe” off them (if that makes any sense)
[quote]Mr Stern wrote:
I heard an interesting theory about fear of public speaking in the weekend.
You are only afraid of public speaking because you are afraid that the people in the audience are judging you. Heres the kicker, the only reason you think they are judging you is because you would be judging them in the same situation.
So stop judging others on what they are saying, disagree with them yes but respect them for voicing their opinions. Do this and you will be less afraid of public speaking.[/quote]
That is an interesting theory. I admit, I do judge others when they publicly speak and think the same thing. Maybe I’m too judgemental of others and myself
[quote]kamui wrote:
it’s the usual recipe.
Frequency
Intensity
Volume
Rest
Water
“one rep sessions” works quite well.
Find a crowd.
Go into the middle of it.
Breath. Then say “Excuse me, can anyone tell me what time is it ?”.
Just that. Nothing more. Get your answer, and move on.
Your goal : to progressively increase the number of people who will hear and listen to you.
To further increase the difficulty, you can always ask them what time is it in Ulan Bator.
[/quote]
The thing is, I’m fine if it’s just a natural off the cuff thing. It’s just when I have an organised set out script (as in a presentation) when I start getting jittery lol
Do you use some kind of material support during these presentations (written notes, powerpoint, etc) ?
Personally, i hate that with a passion. I need to have free hands and free eyes to have a free voice.
I speak in public 30h+ a week, but these days i mostly use my written notes to ninja-strike inattentive students.
I hate it too, I have to practically read from a script to be able to do it without looking like an ass. My wife, bless her, I’ve seen her give speeches to huge audiences, no clue how she does it.
Rob
the more i read this the more i think you have never tried this.
you arent going to rationalize away fears, therapy is bullshit
[quote]Mr Stern wrote:
I heard an interesting theory about fear of public speaking in the weekend.
You are only afraid of public speaking because you are afraid that the people in the audience are judging you. Heres the kicker, the only reason you think they are judging you is because you would be judging them in the same situation.
So stop judging others on what they are saying, disagree with them yes but respect them for voicing their opinions. Do this and you will be less afraid of public speaking.[/quote]
Seems like social anxiety impacts most people in one way or the other, the best advice is to just keep doing it and practicing until it gets more natural and comfortable… It really is only as bad as you play it out in you’re mind.
Or just stop giving a shit about what people think and do youre thing.
[quote]eremesu wrote:
the more i read this the more i think you have never tried this.
you arent going to rationalize away fears, therapy is bullshit
[quote]Mr Stern wrote:
I heard an interesting theory about fear of public speaking in the weekend.
You are only afraid of public speaking because you are afraid that the people in the audience are judging you. Heres the kicker, the only reason you think they are judging you is because you would be judging them in the same situation.
So stop judging others on what they are saying, disagree with them yes but respect them for voicing their opinions. Do this and you will be less afraid of public speaking.[/quote]
[/quote]
You’re right I’ve never tried this, was it the “I heard an interesting theory in the weekend” That gave it away…
It did seem to make logical sense however it was presented by someone who I thought was a very, very accomplished speaker. So him throwing that out may have been trying to appeal to the crowd and say if I can do it so can you… Now give me your money lol
[quote]JSMaxwell wrote:
Funny how different humans can be. Public speaking to large groups doesn’t bother me in the least, but ask me to have some sort of one-on-one personal type conversation and I fall apart if it doesn’t have some theme or goal in mind. I just can’t do personal chit-chat. I get sweaty and uncomfortable, exactly the same as the people that don’t like public speaking.[/quote]
This is exactly how I feel! At least when I know the subject well. I fall apart when I try to wing it.
It’s even easier if I’m the so called expert of the subject.
A little temporary exaggerated ego doesn’t hurt when public speaking either. Like thinking of it as a chance to show everyone how awsome you are or whatever thoughts get your ego high. It gets me to stand up taller and speak deeper and louder and just generally more confidently.
I’m tried the imagine everyone is in their underwear… then I thought if everyone’s in their underwear aren’t I the odd one out unless I think of myself in only my underwear too… but then what’s the point of imagining everyone in their underwear… unless there’s a hot chick in the audience… but then that’s distracting… where was I going with this…?
[quote]cstratton2 wrote:
Or just stop giving a shit about what people think and do youre thing.[/quote]
In adult life, this generally isn’t an option. You DO have to give a shit about what your audience thinks, be it your employer, your customers, your colleagues, investors in your company, a courtroom, etc etc. This is why learning how to speak publicly is so important.
Public speaking is so much easier if it is well-rehearsed. I think a lot of people spend a huge amount of time writing their script when in reality you likely aren’t going to remember every single word of an hour-long presentation. It’s more important to rehearse the actual speech out loud from start to finish. If you do that once a day for a month leading up to the speech, you won’t be nearly as nervous.
[quote]pgtips wrote:
I hate it. I really, really hate it. I’m scared of it and it is not scared of me.
I like one to one speaking. I like small group discussions, even large group discussions, but I hate public speaking. I hate being centre of attention (Not that I’m particularly shy)
Is any one else in the same boat?[/quote]
I am not.
I find it interesting that some people are scared shitless of things that other people have no problem with.
Just goes to show how arbitrary and not grounded in reality such fears really are.
do you hear that guys? some fears are not grounded in reality. thank you for helping us realize that.
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]pgtips wrote:
I hate it. I really, really hate it. I’m scared of it and it is not scared of me.
I like one to one speaking. I like small group discussions, even large group discussions, but I hate public speaking. I hate being centre of attention (Not that I’m particularly shy)
Is any one else in the same boat?[/quote]
I am not.
I find it interesting that some people are scared shitless of things that other people have no problem with.
Just goes to show how arbitrary and not grounded in reality such fears really are. [/quote]
When I first went to uni I was a terrible (and terrified) public speaker: I would shake, fidget, and forget to breathe. Having people smirk at your discomfort is even worse than them looking bored.
Anyway, I’m now a reasonably confident public speaker and have done recruitment presentations in front of a room full of strangers. You definitely get better with practice. In no particular order, here are some pointers I found useful:
One bit of advice that really helped me was being told to imagine that I was a 50 year old businessman giving a presentation, instead of a nervous student. I found it easier to speak if I thought of it almost as a performance, rather than just being myself exposed up there.
I have a strong regional accent in English, and this was frowned upon as I was training as an interpreter. I actually developed a “professional voice” that I would only use for interpreting and presentations, and I’m very glad that the lads back home in the pub will never hear it! This reinforced the performance aspect for me, and now, when I turn on this voice I’m “in the zone” for public speaking. You don’t have to develop a separate voice, but you could develop it more as an attitude: adopt a certain speaking style and hold yourself a certain way and fake it until you make it.
Someone else has mentioned preparation and practice, and knowing your shit really makes it easier to talk about it. If you prepare your presentation at the last minute you’re just making life difficult for yourself.
Don’t read aloud. This is a sure fire way to bore your audience to death: the pace that people read at is nothing like the natural rhythm that will keep your audience engaged.
Learn to use cue cards. If you know your shit (see above), then you should be able to write a single word or concept on a cue card and use it as a prompt to go into it in greater detail. Giving a presentation without a script will make you much more natural.
TL;DR
Pretend you’re a middle-aged businessman
Know your shit
Use cue cards
It’s not good, but I drank and got a buzz before public speaking like presentations at school. Really helped, but it’s a crutch that can lead to worse problems like dependency.
[quote]Diddy Ryder wrote:
When I first went to uni I was a terrible (and terrified) public speaker: I would shake, fidget, and forget to breathe. Having people smirk at your discomfort is even worse than them looking bored.
Anyway, I’m now a reasonably confident public speaker and have done recruitment presentations in front of a room full of strangers. You definitely get better with practice. In no particular order, here are some pointers I found useful:
One bit of advice that really helped me was being told to imagine that I was a 50 year old businessman giving a presentation, instead of a nervous student. I found it easier to speak if I thought of it almost as a performance, rather than just being myself exposed up there.
I have a strong regional accent in English, and this was frowned upon as I was training as an interpreter. I actually developed a “professional voice” that I would only use for interpreting and presentations, and I’m very glad that the lads back home in the pub will never hear it! This reinforced the performance aspect for me, and now, when I turn on this voice I’m “in the zone” for public speaking. You don’t have to develop a separate voice, but you could develop it more as an attitude: adopt a certain speaking style and hold yourself a certain way and fake it until you make it.
Someone else has mentioned preparation and practice, and knowing your shit really makes it easier to talk about it. If you prepare your presentation at the last minute you’re just making life difficult for yourself.
Don’t read aloud. This is a sure fire way to bore your audience to death: the pace that people read at is nothing like the natural rhythm that will keep your audience engaged.
Learn to use cue cards. If you know your shit (see above), then you should be able to write a single word or concept on a cue card and use it as a prompt to go into it in greater detail. Giving a presentation without a script will make you much more natural.
TL;DR
Pretend you’re a middle-aged businessman
Know your shit
Use cue cards[/quote]
Interpreter huh? Not sure what the equivalent is in the European system but I would assume International Relations?