My take on it would be (if she’s getting specific work done, not just a regular cleaning), after the last appointment, ask if you can take her out for dinner or something. Inviting her back to the house when asking her out for the first time could come across as a little weird. But then again, I’m not a 10…or a woman for that matter.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]belligerent wrote:
answer: you don’t[/quote]
That’s been my take on it up to this point…but…TENS.
In fact, one wasn’t a dime…more like a buck and a quarter. This is unfair.[/quote]
I understand Belligerent’s take in that it is a doctor patient relationship, however, when it comes to love and finding the woman you may spend the rest of your life with, these types of professional protocols don’t seem important enough too out weigh that. It’s a tough situation and I think acting on an attraction should be reserved for only the very few that you REALLY connect with.
It would be great if you could figure out how to ‘run into them’ somewhere. Kind of stalkerish but that would be a good way.
Hey, be glad you’re not a Gynecologist!
What’s wrong with you people, don’t you watch Brazzers?
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Its easy for me to dish out the smile advice because I look like a fucking bitch if I don’t smile. Its the dark hair and light eyes… and maybe the eyebrows. If I’m not actively smiling others think I’m pissed off about something. I’ve experienced this in the workplace numerous times and seriously ACTIVELY SMILE to avoid giving this impression.
[/quote]
My ex wife is the same way. If you looked at her especially from the side she looked like she was pissed. Now that we’re no longer everybody tells me how much they disliked her and it was the way she came across.
Her eyebrows look very similar to yours with dark hair as well. So, smile all the time or you’re a bitch ; )
[quote]dnlcdstn wrote:
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Its easy for me to dish out the smile advice because I look like a fucking bitch if I don’t smile. Its the dark hair and light eyes… and maybe the eyebrows. If I’m not actively smiling others think I’m pissed off about something. I’ve experienced this in the workplace numerous times and seriously ACTIVELY SMILE to avoid giving this impression.
[/quote]
My ex wife is the same way. If you looked at her especially from the side she looked like she was pissed. Now that we’re no longer everybody tells me how much they disliked her and it was the way she came across.
Her eyebrows look very similar to yours with dark hair as well. So, smile all the time or you’re a bitch ; )[/quote]
I know you’re joking but its absolutely true.
I had this brought up in a PERFORMANCE REVIEW how xyz people in xyz department that I had never even spoken to were complaining about my disposition. okaaaaaay.
Begin Operation ACTIVE SMILING. Problem solved.
And of course now I know this is true of me out and about in the world too. I. Just. Don’t. Look. Friendly.
Its a blessing and a curse.
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
[quote]dnlcdstn wrote:
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Its easy for me to dish out the smile advice because I look like a fucking bitch if I don’t smile. Its the dark hair and light eyes… and maybe the eyebrows. If I’m not actively smiling others think I’m pissed off about something. I’ve experienced this in the workplace numerous times and seriously ACTIVELY SMILE to avoid giving this impression.
[/quote]
My ex wife is the same way. If you looked at her especially from the side she looked like she was pissed. Now that we’re no longer everybody tells me how much they disliked her and it was the way she came across.
Her eyebrows look very similar to yours with dark hair as well. So, smile all the time or you’re a bitch ; )[/quote]
I know you’re joking but its absolutely true.
I had this brought up in a PERFORMANCE REVIEW how xyz people in xyz department that I had never even spoken to were complaining about my disposition. okaaaaaay.
Begin Operation ACTIVE SMILING. Problem solved.
And of course now I know this is true of me out and about in the world too. I. Just. Don’t. Look. Friendly.
Its a blessing and a curse.
[/quote]
Ha it does suck. My ex had the same problem at work and had a sit down because of it. So what do ya do? Smile all day faking it or just be yourself? You wanna be yourself and say fuck you if you don’t like my expressions, but we all have careers to tend to so…
I look young for my age and also look like I’ve never even cussed in my life. It works to my advantage being in sales. People believe whatever I tell them cuz I look so nice. MUUUHAHAHAHA
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
I. Just. Don’t. Look. Friendly.
Its a blessing and a curse.
[/quote]
When I concentrate I furrow my brow, and I generally stay very focused when I am busy. A few guys at my old job would not even come near me for several months.
When we finally did start socializing a little I asked them why they were so stand offish. They said I looked like I would probably kill them.
Turns out that their favorite topics of conversation revolved around Lord of The Rings online gaming.
Blessing and a curse.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]debraD wrote:
I’m not dating so I probably should keep my opinion to myself but I always enjoy when a guy argues with me 
(playfully of course)
It says:
- You can maybe acknowledge she might have a brain
- She’s interesting enough to engage conversation
- You’re not kissing her ass and you’re not afraid to disagree
- perhaps you ARE just arguing and not even trying to pick her up, which is interesting too…are you flirting? Maybe? She can’t tell, further conversation is required to determine what this is all about.
But I love to argue generally with anyone so that might not apply to friendlier women 
It might even put off a lot of women, but if that’s the case she’s a pussy anyhow!
[/quote]
I can do arguing.
[/quote]
Understatement of the year
At work when I’m NOT in my own office I literally remember to smile. like walking down the hall smiling like an absolute idiot. Well, now everyone likes me. Awesome.
In the outside world I don’t do this and have it on guaranteed authority that I look like an unaproachable bitch. I’ve decided to accept this as a blessing.
Aww
Proffsow has a widdle cwush…
<3
[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
Aww
Proffsow has a widdle cwush…
<3[/quote]
I loled, 1000 internets to you.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
So PROFX… Did you end up employing any of the suggested tactics?
If so, what results?
Especially interested to hear outcome of whipped cream approach (pics helpful)[/quote]
I tend to play it very safe at work…which sucks. I feel like I can’t be myself or even act like a “guy” when at work because you never know what might cause someone to act like they were assaulted or something.
In fact, I could even expand this outside of work and discuss how women want to be approached.
For instance, I often overthink my responses when speaking to an attractive woman for the first time. I do that because most women assume I am the exact opposite in personality than I really am based on appearance.
What do you people want from us just so we can get those digits?[/quote]
FWIW I think you are right about the work thing. It would really have to be that one in a millino 10+ and for you I’d think you’d have to follow the upthread advise and completely end the professional relationship first.
As far as your Q: Really the main thing is to have a basic ability to read someone’s response/attraction. I’m sure that you possess this.
In a stranger approach setting… it is wise to be careful here. I would say distance engage meaning eye contact and smile, if you like the response you get approach and engage this is just introduce yourself & small talk, still like the response you’re getting just ask. If you’re halfway decent at reading reciprical attraction you’ll either get the number or find out she already has a boyfriend… in which case she still thinks you’re hot just can’t go further. The fact is that these stranger encounters where there just happens to be a 10 at the grocery store you’ve got to grab that opportunity because once its gone its gone. If its a rejection who cares there would have been no connect without the approach anyways.
This is the reason nightclubs are such a popular pick up setting. You can engage and then spend some time in the other persons company before escalating to getting a number or making a future date. I don’t go out to clubs either and know this is the missing piece in alot of my social interaction.
I understand that there could be complications from your rather, um, intimidating appearance however I think a smile and the right approach will mitigate that. I mean lets face it a woman that is attracted to you LOVED THE SHIT out of that look anyways so its either going to be what she’s after or not. But you, ProfX should specifically be sure that you are smiling alot, and ALWAYS when speaking to a woman you are just meeting.
[/quote]
I never smile enough. I am trying lately, but I still fuck up a lot by not smiling. I honestly had no clue until I was out of college that women put so much damn importance on a smile. I get the looks, but then they act scared…or, like in the case at some grocery stores, I will be in a hurry because I have shit to do so I don’t flirt with her at all.
The FLIRT thing is what I need to work on. I have friends who do this so naturally that they could talk a woman into bed in spite of them not having a job, a car, or custody of their own kids.
I need “flirt” lessons…you know, so it’s not overboard or obvious.
I never disclose what I do for a living when meeting them outside. In fact, the one time I did, she didn’t believe me and thought I was lying. (my frat brothers had been telling them they were pro football players so maybe I got screwed that way)
Anywhoo…smile more. Check.
[/quote]
Don’t EVER underestimate the simple power of making OTHER people smile…which naturally will involve you smiling as well. Just making a slightly deviant comment during an otherwise normal exchange can be a great start. For example, a normal exchange at a store (just an example) goes something like
You “Hey, how’s it going?”
Her “Okay, how are you?”
You “Not bad”
she bags groceries
You “Thanks, have a good one”
Her “You too”
Boring. Useless. Accomplishes nothing. But salvageable.
Work on making slightly “Off” comments during the course of those exchanges…breaking that “normal” tension can get people to let their social guard down, and open them up to conversation very quickly. Doing this all in a lighthearted, positive manner is imperative.
In a sense, I’d say you have an advantage in disarming a woman’s defenses, what with your size and all, because of the fact that it’ll surprise a lot of them when you’re nice, smiling, polite, charming, etc…use the shock factor to your advantage man!
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
[quote]dnlcdstn wrote:
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Its easy for me to dish out the smile advice because I look like a fucking bitch if I don’t smile. Its the dark hair and light eyes… and maybe the eyebrows. If I’m not actively smiling others think I’m pissed off about something. I’ve experienced this in the workplace numerous times and seriously ACTIVELY SMILE to avoid giving this impression.
[/quote]
My ex wife is the same way. If you looked at her especially from the side she looked like she was pissed. Now that we’re no longer everybody tells me how much they disliked her and it was the way she came across.
Her eyebrows look very similar to yours with dark hair as well. So, smile all the time or you’re a bitch ; )[/quote]
I know you’re joking but its absolutely true.
I had this brought up in a PERFORMANCE REVIEW how xyz people in xyz department that I had never even spoken to were complaining about my disposition. okaaaaaay.
Begin Operation ACTIVE SMILING. Problem solved.
And of course now I know this is true of me out and about in the world too. I. Just. Don’t. Look. Friendly.
Its a blessing and a curse.
[/quote]
I don’t smile as much as I used to, perhaps that’s what they call maturity. Anyway, I’ve been told by my wife and close friends I look ultra serious and unapproachable when I don’t smile. I am tall, look hefty enough and run around with a short haircut, that doesn’t help the cause. But maybe that’s what I want, to remain unapproachable and introverted.
Of course for work, being sales, it’s all business, smile, talk etc and certainly 5 to 8 years ago I was heavily into personal development seminars (attending and conducting) and smiling and “psyched up” was all part of the terrain. Maybe my attitude now is rebelling this period in my life.
Another thing is I like my sense of humour, I enjoy saying the odd situational joke, my closest friends know me for this so I guess you’d expect me to be a guy that smiles and jokes a lot but I don’t really like doing that anymore.
Does the dental oath of practice have have the same “no diddling the patients” sentence as the physician’s oath? You’d be amazed at how many docs get sued by patients they “dated.”
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
At work when I’m NOT in my own office I literally remember to smile. like walking down the hall smiling like an absolute idiot. Well, now everyone likes me. Awesome.
In the outside world I don’t do this and have it on guaranteed authority that I look like an unaproachable bitch. I’ve decided to accept this as a blessing.[/quote]
Hahaha I have a similar problem. When I was in high school I got elbowed in the mouth playing basketball. Shit was all fucked up, I chipped 2 teeth and split my entire lip in half on one side. It ended up damaging some of the nerves so my default expression now is almost a slight frown, and when I do smile that half of my mouth doesn’t smile as much so it looks like I’m smirking like a smug little asshole haha.