[quote]Qaash wrote:
I work for a state university and that is explicitly frowned upon but done any way.[/quote]
Yeah, I can understand that at a university. However, at TPR the instructors aren’t in charge of grading in any way - it’s LSAT prep, or GMAT prep, or whatever. Thus no power. In fact, the students have much more power, in that their complaints were given a major ear, given how important word of mouth is in that business.
[quote]belligerent wrote:
answer: you don’t[/quote]
agreed.
stop seeing the patient if you want to pursue it further, from a professional standpoint.
from a realistic standpoint, don’t shit where you eat 
[quote]
BostonBarrister wrote:
I think you can, but don’t be overt about it - be ambiguous in your intentions and ask for something that could be interpreted as friendly, like meeting for coffee. Then let most/all of the progression occur outside of the professional context. If it becomes more follow Mufasa’s advice.
This is of course after making non-threatening small talk, establishing some common interest to discuss over said coffee, and making sure there is some reciprocal interest.
I think in your profession you’re OK making friendly contact if interpreting you correctly and you’re not talking about an employee (those pharmaceutical reps are HOT, and if that’s the case you’re describing she has more to worry about ethically anyway, given you’re the targeted business client) - not like a therapist, a commanding officer, a boss or something like that…
ADDENDUM: Ah, just re-read and saw you referenced a patient in the original post, so my tangent on the pharmaceutical reps isn’t applicable - I still think you’re OK if you follow the course of the rest of my response. Also, just read CLaw’s post and I agree completely.
When I was a teacher for The Princeton Review I dated a couple of students (from my grad-level classes, not the SAT classes, lest you think it was age-inappropriate), but I waited until after the class was over to ask them out.
Professor X wrote:
No one ever said anything about dating the students?
I don’t see a problem with it at all, I am just wondering what the perception was.[/quote]
Just an imperfect analogy. Also, I probably should have added a paragraph break for clarity - fixed it. Probably could have expanded too, in that the student example was just to show that waiting until the professional relationship, such as it was, was over seemed to make sense.
[quote]jtg987 wrote:
rsg wrote:
jtg987 wrote:
too who ever said sending flowers was a good idea, yeah its a great idea once your done sending her flowers it’d be a great idea to cut your penis and sack off the cut yourself a fresh new vagina
You sure told us you super macho man, you.
well honestly how weirded out do you think that might make someone? getting roses from someone they dont know…[/quote]
EXACTLY, I was going to say this earlier when I read that reply about sending flowers.
Okay, this is way out there but…
have tried being upfront about it?
If you are certain that this women is flirting with you, you could say (in way that you come off a bit embarrassed) that since you at work you feel that you have to be very ‘professional’. (Smiling would help.) That gives her an opening to suggest meeting you outside the office. She might not take it that time, but maybe the next time.
Anyway, it acknowledges that you sense her flirting and that you are not opposed to it, but rather can not act on it give the location, and suggests that you would like to respond in kind. Puts the ball back in her court, safely.
Then, do whatever Mufassa suggests if there is a chance of slippery shenanigans.
I would be wary of tens as most of them lost their souls long ago. i would be especially wary of any ten who seems to be happy. i don’t know any tens who get truly excited over anything other than getting people to do things for them.
your work on a them has incredible value and potentially lasting effects on their looks and ego…do not underestimate this no matter how modest or un- aware they put on. yes i’m totally jaded an myopic but i also do this shit all the time as all i really have going for me is my looks.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
Qaash wrote:
Professor X wrote:
belligerent wrote:
answer: you don’t
That’s been my take on it up to this point…but…TENS.
In fact, one wasn’t a dime…more like a buck and a quarter. This is unfair.
Well first I’d have to ask what kind of vibe did you get from her? Since this is your career, is the risk worth it? In my job I am surrounded by attractive women, so I have to be as professional as possible to the point of being antisocial so that there is never a misunderstanding.
However, every now and again, I do come across someone who shows interest in me and I take it from there.
CLEAR interest…and my response is also to come across as anti-social or completely disinterested. I don’t want to risk anything at all just for a hook up. I think I limit myself by not going out as much as most of the people I hang out with.
They go to clubs every single weekend…and sometimes during the week. That’s all they do. That lifestyle has its place, but it just isn’t me.
[/quote]
I’ve dated a few girls from work (I’m leaning towards not doing that anymore though). Usually, if there’s someone I think I might hit it off with, I’ll invite her with a group of people to do something (usually dancing, I like Salsa), then take it from there.
It’s important to make the first few outings “friendly”, that way, you can properly gauge the vibe.
That’s all I got.
We have a saying in Ireland
“Don’t shit on your doorstep”
Pretty damn straight forward…
Even for 10… its not worth 10 YEARS of hassle if things go belly up !
But if it was me, i’d wait till she was being discharged, offer her a small box of chocolates with a small card, inside of which is your number.
Say she can use it, if she ever wants company someday and if not enjoy the chocolates 
[quote]CaliforniaLaw wrote:
Wrong. There is no ethical question involved. There is nothing unethical about a dental surgeon dating his patient. There is no power imbalance.
It’s an issue of whether something is worth the risk.
Hey, I think it’s great you 18- and 19-year old kids are taking Philosophy 101 classes. But you can’t just throw around “situational ethics” and expect that others who know what they are talking about won’t correct you.[/quote]
There is an ethics issue. It’s not pop psychology. It’s the ADA Code of Professional Conduct, Part III, Section 2.G.: Personal relationships with Patients. Dentists should avoid interpersonal relationships that could impair their professional judgment or risk the possibility of exploiting the confidence placed in them by the patient.
While I have the utmost confidence Prof X would not exploit the situation, even the appearance of impropriety should be avoided.
So Professor X, how did you ultimately resolve your dilemma? Any conclusions reached?
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So Professor X, how did you ultimately resolve your dilemma? Any conclusions reached?[/quote]
LOL. I changed “jobs” and now work at a different clinic since this post was started. I am going the “hands off” route. I just need to put myself in other situations so I can meet women like that.
I’m genuinely surprised no one’s thrown in the classic line from the movie “The Girl Next Door” where Tim Olyphant’s character utters the line “Make sure the juice is worth the squeeze”
You are going to meet people that you are attracted to in all job positions and such & it truly is a matter of personal risk assessment before you make that move & take some chances.
Either way good luck & happy hunting Prof.
When I first saw this topic, I have to admit, I rolled my eyes and thought, “how unprofessional”.
Then I met a girl at work. Suddenly my opinion has changed.
Best thing I can think of is to see a person frequently. If there’s chemistry it’ll come out sooner or later. I really had no interest in her, but then I worked a couple shifts with her, and aside from being an 8.5 (seriously; I’m amazed she even talks to me) she has an awesome personality. Hell, she HAS a boyfriend, and that doesn’t stop us from doing…stuff…together.
Life’s too short to worry about shit like this. As long as you’re not treating the lady for cancer or something, go for it.
[quote]LUEshi wrote:
When I first saw this topic, I have to admit, I rolled my eyes and thought, “how unprofessional”.
Then I met a girl at work. Suddenly my opinion has changed.
Best thing I can think of is to see a person frequently. If there’s chemistry it’ll come out sooner or later. I really had no interest in her, but then I worked a couple shifts with her, and aside from being an 8.5 (seriously; I’m amazed she even talks to me) she has an awesome personality. Hell, she HAS a boyfriend, and that doesn’t stop us from doing…stuff…together.
Life’s too short to worry about shit like this. As long as you’re not treating the lady for cancer or something, go for it.[/quote]
You actually thought it was “unprofessional” that humans have feelings no matter where they are?
I get your post, but I do find it strange that people are so uptight that the concept of seeing someone you are attracted to at work is something they can’t see as being decent at all…until it happens to you.
Mind you, I didn’t write that I had acted on anything at all so I don’t understand what gave you that impression.
[quote]You actually thought it was “unprofessional” that humans have feelings no matter where they are?
I get your post, but I do find it strange that people are so uptight that the concept of seeing someone you are attracted to at work is something they can’t see as being decent at all…until it happens to you.[/quote]
I don’t (didn’t) think of it as INDECENT. Indecent would be coming into worked toasted and feeling up the nurses or something. I felt like it sounded somewhat inappropriate, but mildly so…which is why I didn’t really bother commenting until I too (recently) had something similar happen to me. My opinion has now changed.
Obviously my situation differs from yours, but having come out on the other side and being the richer for the experience, I say go for it.
It’s a knee-jerk thing. “Doctor-patient relationship” just SOUNDS a whole lot more inappropriate (even though it’s not) than almost any other scenario.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
AngryVader wrote:
The only method that’s ever worked for me without getting in trouble was to ask her if she would like to meet me and a few other co-workers for drinks after work. I’m not sure if that would apply to your situation though.
I’ve tried being a little more direct, like asking them out to lunch or dinner, but most of the time they’ve politely declined or said something along the lines of that they don’t like to date co-workers.
That’s been my experience anyway…
I have let at least 2 TENS slip past me because I wasn’t sure how to handle the situation.
I guess it would help if I did go out to bars or clubs, but I don’t. Therefore, most of the ones I see are either at the store, the gym, or at work.[/quote]
The perfect pickup line. Ask her out for drinks when you get there ask for water, and admit to her that you really don’t drink but thought she was a ten and didn’t want to miss out. If she’s feeling you she’ll stay and discuss it, alot of women don’t really drink either but know they have to at least act like they do to meet somebody.
[quote]rsg wrote:
Tiribulus wrote:
Send flowers and a gentlemanly note to her house saying something about you had been thinking about her since she was in and you honestly didn’t know of a more proper way to approach her which would be the truth. It’s been about a million years since I was in a position anything like this, but that’s along the lines of what I’d do. It would be no mystery that her address is registered with the office. This seems to me to be the least easily misunderstood method.
This honestly sounds like a good idea.[/quote]
In the Land of Make Believe.
Two words: Nitrous oxide
The answer is right under your nose.
Tim Watley