[quote]jtg987 wrote:
too who ever said sending flowers was a good idea, yeah its a great idea once your done sending her flowers it’d be a great idea to cut your penis and sack off the cut yourself a fresh new vagina[/quote]
You sure told us you super macho man, you.
since my last post wasnt helpful but neither would sending flowers or looking up there number in their file…you really dont want to shit where you eat, i learnt that lesson the hard way…best advice is either one of two things which are both real similar
just dont send flowers, thats almost as bad as curling in the squat rack
[quote]rsg wrote:
jtg987 wrote:
too who ever said sending flowers was a good idea, yeah its a great idea once your done sending her flowers it’d be a great idea to cut your penis and sack off the cut yourself a fresh new vagina
You sure told us you super macho man, you.[/quote]
well honestly how weirded out do you think that might make someone? getting roses from someone they dont know…
[quote]Professor X wrote:
belligerent wrote:
answer: you don’t
That’s been my take on it up to this point…but…TENS.
In fact, one wasn’t a dime…more like a buck and a quarter. This is unfair.[/quote]
Situational ethics. Does the fact that they are a 10 really change the equation?
[quote]nephorm wrote:
EmilyQ wrote:
But leaving THAT aside, if an attractive dentist flirted with me, I think I’d be fine with it.
I love this, because it illustrates something I’ve known for a long time.
Advances from an unattractive guy are sexual harassment (regardless of the actual legal issues involved).
Advances from an attractive guy are just fine.
Life is so unfair.[/quote]
I would prefer that you join me in pretending I’m not shallow.
At any rate, I said nothing about harassment. Assuming we were both single (or not wearing wedding rings), I would probably be more bemused by the unappealing dentist’s flirting than outraged.
All of the dentists I’ve had have seemed old and very married. That was really the comparison I was making between appealing and not. But sure, attractive is nice.
But hey, maybe none of them have flirted with me or sent me flowers because I’m not attractive enough. Which illustrates the rest of it. Men are selective, too.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
At any rate, I said nothing about harassment.
[/quote]
I know.
Look, I just wanted to bitch.
[quote]nephorm wrote:
EmilyQ wrote:
But hey, maybe none of them have flirted with me or sent me flowers because I’m not attractive enough. Which illustrates the rest of it. Men are selective, too.
Look, I just wanted to bitch.[/quote]
Sorry. Do you want me to say a new shallow thing, so you can have another shot at it?
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Sorry. Do you want me to say a new shallow thing, so you can have another shot at it?
[/quote]
Um, yeah, that would be pretty nice of you. And I mean that in the most misogynistic way possible.
I can’t see any harm in flirting back. I would keep low key, and if they flat out tell you that they wanted to progress to the next level, let them know that you can’t while you’re their doctor. Don’t give out your number, and definitely do not get their personal info from their records. If they want to call you after the doctor patient relationship is done, tell them you don’t mind taking personal calls at the office.
Also, do what Mufasa said.
Upon further reflection I have changed my mind on this issue. If a woman shows clear interest, then I say go for it. To hell with the rules. The only danger is that you might make an unwelcome proposal to someone who isn’t interested, in which case she might report you and get you in trouble. But if she shows clear interest then the likelihood of that happening is remote, and there’s little danger in asking. Yeah it might be against the rules, but so what? If it doesn’t hurt anyone…
I say make a list of priorities. If getting some from a hot girl is at the top of the list do whatever it takes.
Its this sort of conundrums that make me VERY happy that I am married.
I feel for you X, and I too come across some 10s and in there homes to boot…
[quote]Professor X wrote:
How do you ask the patient you are treating if she would like to come by your house later?..without sounding like you do this to every patient you treat who looks cute?..and without sounding like you are unprofessional?
I am sure this can relate to all careers in some way…so how do you interact with the opposite sex in the one place where you aren’t supposed to?
[/quote]
You don’t. No woman is worth risking your professional career over.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
How do you ask the patient you are treating if she would like to come by your house later?..without sounding like you do this to every patient you treat who looks cute?..and without sounding like you are unprofessional?
I am sure this can relate to all careers in some way…so how do you interact with the opposite sex in the one place where you aren’t supposed to?
[/quote]
im not sure…but…Tell me how you approach them in the gym! there is one that i see fairly often that wieght trains and does cardio everytime i make it to the gym early enough to see her but she works a with a much older woman (im assuming shes her mom but she is much lighter than the girl but they have a pretty similar build).
she is pretty and she hits the iron consitently from what i see but i have no idea what to say or how to get a convo even started!
then i started seeing a light skinned girl recently who is cute too but shes always on the cardio equip which i avoid.
i dont want to make it blaringly obvious that i want to speak to either one and i know they arent going to come to me…
You don’t get your meat and bread at the same place, baby cakes.
I have also heard of what Mufasa wrote about contacting your board and getting their timeframe on the duration of dr/patient relationship.
I feel for you, man. I’ve been in a similar position. How do you normally socialize though with patients? How much of your personal life do you discuss and how much effort do you put into getting to know them?
Tough situation, man.
The “easy” answer is: Don’t.
But life is seldom easy.
Look at all the simplistic answers here.
Look at date rape. It can happen to anyone. It ruins your life. But odds of it happening are very slim.
Who is saying, “Don’t risk going to prison and getting gang raped for sex!”
Do you quit having sex because the girl you had sex with might scream rape the next day? Most guys would say, “No.” Yet those same guys here act like your issue is so simple.
Every time you have sex with a woman you are taking a risk that: a) she has AIDs; b) she is scandalous and is trying to get pregnant; c) she is crazy and will yell rape. But people still get down.
So, again, it’s just not so simple.
Lots of people have met in the work place. And being a dental surgeon isn’t like dealing with sensitive personal issues like a lawyer or shrink would be dealing with. So there isn’t an abuse of power/preying on the weak and desperate issue going on.
OTOH, there are many downsides. If she’s a stalker psycho, she knows where you work. She WILL show up and trash your business reputation. And she knows you’re a professional, so she could try extorting coinage from you.
But the odds of that happening are low, ya know? There are other things that should keep us up at night!
All that said, I would take a subtle approach - and only approach women sparingly. I’d say something like, “So what do people do for fun around here?” Just something innocuous like that. If she takes the bait, then you can go from there.
The idea is to create an opening so that she can feel comfortable suggesting something. If she’s bold enough to make a move, go for it. If not, error on the side of caution and don’t make a move.
Usually as a man you must be aggressive. But in the work place, you take the weaker approach, putting it out there but leaving it up to her to say, “As a matter of fact, my friends are I are going to do…”
Are you a church goer? If so, maybe say, “I’m new to the area. Any churches you’d recommend?”
Hell, dude, you probably should just be going to church anyway. If you’re living a life of clean living, that’s about the only place to meet women. Plus, as you probably know lots of freaks go to church.
As a professional who cares about his health and is not trying to get married, you have a unique set of problems. Life just ain’t ever easy.
[quote]inthego wrote:
Its this sort of conundrums that make me VERY happy that I am married.[/quote]
LOL. Yeah, I feel that.
I don’t have to worry about getting an STD, getting a rape charge, or getting a stalker.
Downside is the whole monogamy thing. (Of course, even if the wife wanted to swing, I’m really not feeling the STD risk. And even if I had a long leash, I’d be worried about the problems noted above!)
Married men complain to their single friends all the time. But being single is harder in many ways.
[quote]Loose Tool wrote:
Situational ethics. Does the fact that they are a 10 really change the equation?[/quote]
Yes.
For $10 an hour, I wouldn’t flip burgers.
For $200 an hour, I would.
The potential payoff is always a consideration.
Any other pop philosophy questions; or do you want to do some real thinking and analysis?
[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:
I can’t see any harm in flirting back. I would keep low key, and if they flat out tell you that they wanted to progress to the next level, let them know that you can’t while you’re their doctor. Don’t give out your number, and definitely do not get their personal info from their records. If they want to call you after the doctor patient relationship is done, tell them you don’t mind taking personal calls at the office.
Also, do what Mufasa said.[/quote]
This is the way to go - check with the board and document when they call you - having a third party verify the call is best. Do you have to document when you call a patient regarding a medical matter? Do this in the same manner. Anything else is probably going to cost you. People, especially women who are dimes, know how to work the system for a payday. You could be Madame Cleo and you wouldn’t see them coming.
Even if you don’t take a financial hit, you may misinterpret signs and negatively impact the woman’s future care.
[quote]nephorm wrote:
EmilyQ wrote:
Sorry. Do you want me to say a new shallow thing, so you can have another shot at it?
Um, yeah, that would be pretty nice of you. And I mean that in the most misogynistic way possible.[/quote]
I’m working on it. Generally superficiality comes very easily to me, but I seem to have hit a wall.