i’m that weird guy that carries around a notebook to write down reps and weights and does squats often.
Hometown Gym
The Viking- 6’5"ish Massive guy, Cut, shaved head Huge Goatee. Only guy besides me that can deadlift over 405, or deadlifts at all for that matter.
Bodybuilder Lady- There 24/7 since she works there. Good size and amazing definition, only women that squats. recently complemented me on my progress cutting.
Cougar- friends with bodybuilder lady, amazing body, Every one watches her lift.
NO ROM man. Realy old. sets up for military press in squat rack. places barbell on safety pins 2" below lockout then proceeds to lift. Does the same for bench. Doesn’t even use heavy weight either.
Uni Gym
Indians.-weak, hang around the squat rack doing assisted curls. will literally scurry away when I come to the squat rack and apologize. Guess I just look to pissed. idk im always nice to everyone at the gym even if I don’t say much
Track Star Girl- Doesn’t matter when I go she’s on the elliptical when I get there and when I leave, I’m glad she’s there though body of a godess.
Scrawny Black Urban youth center kids. kill themselves attempting to bench 135, They asked me how much I was rack pulling once. when I told them they all leaned back covered their mouthes and said “Damnnnnnn” I couldn’t stop laughing greatest gym humor moment for me.
[quote]BrownTrout wrote:
Chubby girls on the vagina machine. I’m not sure what the actual name of the machine is but I’m sure everybody knows that I’m talking about. The last time that one walked in wearing skin tights I puked in a trash can at the sight of her meaty cellulite ridden labia being compressed under the strain of her spandex.
[/quote]
You mean the “yes” and “no” machines?
Im in Tucson so I get a lot of the dudes that stroll in with the dickies/wife beater look. First thing they do is crack open a rockstar and strut themselves to the smith machine and start doing decline bench.
For whatever reason weight progression in not in their vocab so all they do it 1 45 plate per side do some half reps after finishing the set they look in the mirror to check how swole they are, take pics, then repeat.
Another one of the favorites are the old guys (60+) that dont have much of a build to them but can lift a truck. I recall a 3-4 years ago a buddy and I were do Flat DB bench busting our asses on the 80’s feeling like BA’s busting out 4 crap rep sets, all this guy does is grab the 105’s sits on the flat bench next to us.
We are both smirking at eachother all this old guy does is rep out at least 6-7 reps gets up and racks em and walks off. ( now i just assume that all old men are strong)
Besides that my gym has a lot of the PT’s are are big into training 2 people at one time and because of that they get to use up half the free weight section, 2 benches, and a another 2-3 machines on the other side of the gym and look at you like you are the asshole when you ask them to move/using that said bench
Oh Ill add another, its the guy that seems to be passing a kidney stone or shitting a brick in the stall next to you while you are peeing.
When I go back home from college, there is a community rec center that I go to. Now I’m not saying that everyone there are idiots, but I would say 80% of the people there are either old/fat or an immature brat that just likes to play in the weight room as if it were a playground.
For instance, there were these kids who looked like they were just middle schoolers. Anyways, they came in, and all they did was ride the lat pull down machine up and down. The same thing with the assisted pull up machine.
There is also this one kid who just loves to “bulk” by eating tons of doritos and downing liters of Mountain Dew. Thinks he knows so much about lifting and loves to bench ridiculous amounts of weight…but needs the spotter to help him with 50% of the weight.
And another kid who has made no progress whatsoever, and has no muscle, despite lifting for at least 3 years. He also wears sleeveless shirts that say “Do you have your tickets to the gun show?”.
The gym also has no squat rack, but has a Smith machine…which would explain a few things. hahaha
Babby Eater
About 6’9 and about 300lb+ and is built like a fridge. Saw him once eating after a session at subway, his sub was so large it didnt fit in the wrapping properly and one end was open kinda looking like a baby wrapped in a blanket.
Freak in Cage
Looks like that guy from dude where’s my car +50lb.
Joke
He is there nearly every time I am and seems to use his entire body for every exercise but only ever does isolations??? Same size as when I started going to this gym (about a year). Skinny Fat.
The IT guy
Found out he works in IT…He looks like he should be getting on stage some time soon. Probably picked on in high school and snapped.
Dave the Bouncer
5’6 or so weighs about 240lb also built like fridge. No shit! Now I work with him. I have never felt so safe removing a group of 6 big guys with just 2 of us before.
Steve the Fighter
Only PT at my gym I respect, mainly because he could beat 7 shades of shit out of anyone else who trains there. Has a 9-0 MMA record, a BJJ title and many MT fights under his belt.
Litte 'Roiding Guy
Seems to be able to get any roid under the sun and uses them aswell, still seems to remain skinny fat.
Big Weak Guy
Looks big and strong but isnt. Used to hate on our training and tell us we were training wrong, then I doubled his squat. Doesnt complain anymore.
We have a lot of wierd people.
We have a group of closeted gay guys who come in at night and hang out at the gym for like three hours. There are five of them and they all do the same exercises. One will do a set and then they all have to high five and congratulate each other and then the next one does a set.
They will also chase each other around the gym and hump each other while yelling rape and giggling like teenage girls. They talk about how much pussy they get while they eyeball fuck each other in the mirrors and literally grope each other’s asses.
They are all also fighters who are planning to go pro any day now even though they’re already in their 30’s. When they talk about their pro MMA fighting careers, every third sentence starts “Yeah, but if it was a streetfight.”
I try not to pay attention to them but one of them will randomly scream, literally scream, if he feels like no one in the gym is paying attention to him. I hate them and I schedule my workout time around their gay trysts to avoid them.
I’m the only woman in my gym who deadlifts. I’m really the only women who lifts at all and I’m by far the strongest. That doesn’t mean I’m impressive, it means the women in my gym are really pathetic for the most part.
Every now and then some chick will come into the weight area who looks like she’s in decent shape and I’ll get really excited. Then I feel sad when she picks up the five pound dumbbells and does some weird jazzercise routine.
[quote]Grneyes wrote:
Sunny20 wrote:
The man who stole a weight off the Smith machine I was currently using to put on his squat bar the moment I took a rest and didn’t even have the decency to own up, even though he continued his set right next to me for about 5 minutes.
He knew I knew, too, 'cause he wouldn’t look me in the eye. He’s also the man I’m going to throw the heaviest dumbbell I can lift at the next time I spot him.
He probably thought he was helping out by lightening the load for a woman. Some men can’t handle a woman lifting more than a drink.[/quote]
LOL quite possibly. Although he wasn’t lifting an awful lot more than a drink himself… It’s always the ones who are a bit rubbisb gym-wise who are the arseholes - all the massive blokes in there who are actually training properly wouldn’t dream of doing something like that.
This may be very selfish/inconsiderate of me, but people who do a set, and then walk off down the gym for their ‘rest’, making me think the machine is now free for use and then come back just as I’m geared up to use it wind me up something chronic. Some bloke did that the other day and it was so difficult to tell when he’d finished. I was hopping up and down everytime he wandered away.
[quote]dianab wrote:
NvrTooLate wrote:
I’m finding several references to the vernacular “bro”. It must be inherant and universal. My friend that I train with will reference a particular piece of equipment as being “bro’d out”.
Bro’d out - def. when one or more are over using one particular gym equipment thus rendering it difficult for me to use it. (example) The Peck Deck is bro’d out again because apparantly it’s the only way to work out your chest.
My squat rack is bro’d out with guys doing pull-ups
(I’m gonna use that if you don’t mind.)[/quote]
Ha, yes that’s funny.
Nice thread…
I think im in the worst fuck… gym in north america…
Well the good think about the worst gym is the fact the Power rack always empty…deadlift,squat,pullups…that to hard, when someone in the power rack, good chance he is doing curl, ah i forgot,knee squat or 1/4 squat with 3 plates on a side…That a classic…well im in the worst gym so dont forget the powerrack is a cheap one.
I should say people in my gym love the smith machine…well they like all the machine,quarter bench press and quarter military press is also a popular exercice…Even see a guy this week doing press this way, sitting on his knee,pressing way up with the cable, he did about 10 sets this way…Why the fuck dont you take a db or bb and press it!! Why the cable???
What else…i have this guy, smell bad,yelling, he like 140lbs on 5ft6,skinny…he yelling really hard on each rep…well a rep…its always quarter rep,never seen this guy doing a full rep…what worse?? he is not taking the time to replace the weight…unfortunetly he is not the only one in the gym…
Oh we got a deadlift trapbar a few months ago…yes finnaly…well i havent seen anyone doing deadlift with the bar,always shrugs…I dont think they know what is a deadlift anyway…
So to resume,
Im the powerreack man, running in the park with my sled in the morning…
Gotta add this poor guy to the list, he seems nice but just has no clue-
Old fish-
Must be in his 70’s. Comes in with a group of other oldies. He seems to try to do the right thing…
Tries to deadlift with one of the ez curl bars. Guess the oly bars are too heavy for him. Does it with a rounded back, stifflegged with his knees locked. Waiting for something to break.
I was DL’ing one day and he asked me why I was using so much weight… I replied that I wanted to get stronger and he just kind of stared at me, like it just didn’t compute.
He does assisted chin-ups, but the poor bloke can’t manage reps even with the assistance.
He kinda tried to do some sort of weird kipping chin but on the machine, never manages to get his head over the bar, and never lets himself lower all the way back down to the bottom. ROM gets less and less. Eventually looks like a dying fish flopping about in the sun. Poor guy.
The Coke Zero Sponsored Athlete - out of shape middle-aged man staying hydrated between cable rows and Smith bench with a 2 liter bottle of Coke Zero. He had a new bottle every session, as far as I can tell.
The Screamer - similar to other members of this species, but distinguishes himself by lying down on the floor with his shirt off, putting a heavy DB on his abs, and, um, vibrating.
The Posse - about 4 young guys who used to go to this gym; the leader was ~5’4 and skinny fat, and the others were even less impressive. Last seen learning how to DL by sitting on a bench with the bar in their lap, standing up with the bar, then bending over and doing their best impression of a cat’s arch. When the going got tough, the leader started helping his friend by pulling on one side of the bar only.
you are using it correctly, dianab
Mr. Forearm (singular) - does wrist curls with a 40lb db and reverse wrist curls with a 25. The kicker is he only works his right forearm. It’s easily 2 inches bigger than his left. I think he training to shake someone’s hand and break every bone in it.
Not much i can add but from a past gym.
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Shaky Legs Guy. Always benched 105 with his legs dangling of the end of the bench.
When the “hotties” are around(i use that term loosely), he bumed it up to 135 and proceeds to do some high intensity tap dancing for the duration of the sets. -
Painter Guy. Always came in covered in dry paint after work and fcuking stinking of shit. Wont train unless hes got his coke and mars bar fix beforehand. Actually left the gym in protest one day when he was informed we were sold out of Mars bars. Mind you they should never have been there in the first place.
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Ol Dirty Bastard. This fucker is actually a closet sex offender though never proven. Back when i was younger, i couldnt even do a workout without him coming over and checking my bodyfat percentage by hand.
Told any poor fool who would listen he won 12 BB comps over the years. Thankfully as soon as i won my first and he saw the pic, he immediately took a dislike to me and spent most of the time from then on talking shit about me to anyone who would listen. If i win the overall Mr Ireland this, it will surely kill him(i can only hope).
Lock
This thread is great. Not sure if this was brought up, but…
DB Shrugs 3 inches from the DB Rack Guy - You’re doing a seated DB Shoulder Press or a movement which may be nice to have a mirror, and this one guy comes up… walks directly in front of you, blocking out your vision while you have significant weight above your head.
Lady that uses a motorized scooter to “drive” from machine to machine - If she can’t walk because of physical limitations, then fine. But then why is she doing lower body exercises?
“Skinny Punk Ass”: 150 lbs 18-20 year old with a trendy mohawk. Does curls and machine chest. Has legs the size of my forearms.
“Lanky Harry Potter”: See above but with glasses and without mohawk. Can’t barely do leg extensions with 65 lbs.
“Weak Old timer”: Does everything with machine except broom side twists. Is even weaker in the leg extension the Harry Potter : actually doing 1/3 reps with 65 lbs while shaking… never deadlift or squat.
“MillHouse”: does every useless exercises the PT trow at him and looks exactly like two years ago: a stick man with glasses.
“Mr Smile”: he’s convinced that since he’s got low bodyfat %, chest, arms and his most develloped part: his smile that it grant him the permission to annoy every cute female members at the gym.
That’s it for now.
[quote]lock_solid wrote:
If i win the overall Mr Ireland this, it will surely kill him(i can only hope).
Lock[/quote]
You look swole dude. Bang up job man. Keep up the good work.
I was finishing up some work in the cage this morning, a guy walked in and gave me that “look” - you know the one, where you can tell he wants to use whatever equipment you’re on. I finished the set, stripped my barbell, and went to do some dips.
He immediately started curling in the cage. I hate him. 