People at Your Gym

Off Topic
82

so, for guys at my gym…

the Jacked Dude, this guy has huge ass shoulders and is the biggest guy at the gym. he may do amateur shows, im not sure. he also has a legion of goons who he is like the colonel of. ive talked to 1 or 2 of them and theyre decent peeps.

Super-Thug, this is a white guy in his 40’s-60’s who wears a dew rag with a hat over it. he’s weird and i think he’s probably mentally disabled

The Bros (American), they do nothing but bi’s, tri’s and chest bruh

The Bros (Brazilian), they do nothing but bi’s, tri’s and chest bruh

The Bros (Mexicano), they do nothing but bi’s, tri’s and chest mang

The Bros (Haitian), they do nothing but bi’s, tri’s and chest dog

the PTs, you know they’re PTs or PT underlings when you see them doing seemingly normal exercises ‘with a fun new twist’ such as…curling on a bosu ball, squatting on a bosu ball while curling, deadlifting with 95 pounds or pushups onto a box, onto a ball, onto a squat

The Lone Ranger, this isn’t one person but a name for all the random people i see come in, do a squat or deadlift correctly and then i never see again.

83

I have the “fatty-asian hip-hop kid” that does nothing but mirror muscles for the whole time he’s working out. Now that may not seem bad… until every break that he takes between sets, he does pop-lock/ hip-hop dance moves. God, everytime I see it, it makes me cringe to be the only other asian in the gym.

Also, we have “Fucking huge black ninja dude”. The guy is for sure over 6 feet tall and looks like he weighs 250 lbs and in decent shape. For every rest in between his set, he does some crazy shit. Last time he did, a jumping high knee with a yell, mirror boxing right in front of some other guy benching, and a side shuffle that scared the shit out of me since he did it right next me while I was military pressing.

I see a trend of “in-between-set people”…

84

I work out in a college gym, so appearance is important, especially in bros.

The monday benchers- ALWAYS bench press on mondays. Never do any sort of leg work.

The wednesday benchers- Always bench on we

Trying to get back into shape bros - Always trying to get into shape for SOME event. (See new years resolutioner)

The ‘WTF are you thinking’ guy- The guy who does steroids and who i have literally seen bounce around the gym on a bosu ball. (Hopped on it and proceeded to hump the ball around the gym.)

85

[quote]BBriere wrote:
Jamie- the only guy that I ever met that lifted hard and kept to himself. He was a 50 something competitive powerlifter that could easily crank out squats with about 400 pounds though he claimed he was weak at squats. Would mention in passing something like he had to go a little lighter on bench after his arm was severed and had to be reattached, but then would bang out a 400+ max. [/quote]

that’s seriously bad ass.

86

[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:

Super-Thug, this is a white guy in his 40’s-60’s who wears a dew rag with a hat over it. he’s weird and i think he’s probably mentally disabled

[/quote]

We’ve got a dude just like this except he’s one of the silver sneakers crowd and has a few gold chains and lifting gloves. If I’m a little late in the morning I get to see the wave of silver sneakers come in starting around 8am. There’s a ton of freeweight space, 2 racks, smith, several benches, etc. and other than me and maybe 1-2 other lifters it’s all super seniors cruising around. Kind of like cocoon.

87

We have one of those beer-gut trainers at my gym. I’ve only seen him work with one client, which is his wife or girlfriend, I think…

We also have what I call “The Profilers” - Local police officers working out on their lunch breaks, who actually spend more time sizing up “suspects” (anyone bigger, taller or ‘darker’) than lifting.

I’m going to call myself the “Get Outta Dodge” guy - the guy at the gym who doesn’t have a lot of time to socialize or loiter around; I just want to get a good workout in and “get the heck outta Dodge”. That’s why we go to the gym to begin with, right?

88

I’m the aggressive teen that drinks his 10928310983 supplements goes in, puts his ipod on, gets extremely mad does his set gets up paces around getting angrier and angrier and finishes his workout.

89

Here are guys I never see at the gym:

The guy doing EDT, HSS-100, ABBH, 10x3, or any other type of training that doesn’t involve hundreds of sets of bench and curls to go along with a few sets of leg extensions

I’m the guy that does the weird stuff at the gym like barbell hack squats, deadlifts and squats where I move my hips first, single leg exercises, full dips, inverted atomic ab twisters, lying suppinated Russian “butt clenchers,” and communicating with my home planet

I take my own water so none of the “can I work in” guys come try to grab my rack or bench while I’m waiting in line for an hour for a guy in a tapout shirt with flames tattooed on his face to fill up his bottle.

90

[quote]jahall wrote:
The ‘WTF are you thinking’ guy- The guy who does steroids and who i have literally seen bounce around the gym on a bosu ball. (Hopped on it and proceeded to hump the ball around the gym.)[/quote]

ROTF

This has to be the funniest gym idiot moment ever.

91

Most have been mentioned but I have a couple.

The “I-Dare-You-To-Laugh-At-Me” guy: Comes to the gym and works out while wearing something ridiculous (like bright orange crocs). But you don’t dare point and laugh at him cause he’s built like a brick shit-house, reps 400+ lbs on the bench and can squat 500 lbs barefoot…not to mention his punches and roundhouse kicks make the entire dance/aerobics room shake!

The “I-Do-Everything-On-A-Bosu-Ball” PT: Wears body hugging Under Armor that seems a little loose in the chest and arms and insists that he and his clients do everything on an unstable surface in the cable crossover machine. His client rarely stick with him for more than a couple sessions after seeing the other PT’s available. Only redeeming quality is his Honda CBR 900 parked on the sidewalk.

Me: The guy that comes in with his notebook, puts on headphones, barrels through his workout, and gets out quickly all the while avoiding as much conversation as possible. Can sometimes be seen between sets doing some shadow sparring but hates being asked what style he does.

92

The Strong Thighs- Women who sit on the leg abductor and adductor every workout only to get their inner and over thighs strong and sit and wonder why they are still fat overall.

The Cardio Bunny- Women who do nothing but run on the treadmill and stepper (who only do 1" steps).

The Dad and Daughter- that do the SAME shit over and over again everyday.

93

How unfortunate you all are. I have the privilage of working out in the same gym as ‘‘The baddest motherfuckers in the motherfucking world motherfucker’’.
There appears to be about 5 or 6 of these guys, all in awe of their ‘ringleader’ who also happens to be the biggest. (maybe 170-180lbs…?). The leader looks about 18/19 while the youngest looks about 14/15 and the other are all in between.

They like to workout together(obviously) and only do 1/4 ROM on the core exercises: smith machine shoulder press, curls in all their variations, ‘‘bench press’’, smith machine bench press, more curls, chest flye’s, curls in all their variations, and of course… some curls.
The ‘ringleader’ seems to work out in as many layers of clothing as possible. One day, in the blistering heat I was dumbfounded that he had a hoody(with hood up) whilst working out. I was further dumbfounded when he removed his hoody and revealed another freaking jumper and continued to train in that.
Staring at me when I squat is essential, I’m not sure as to the reason why yet.
When I finish benching they occaisionally like to load up about 20lbs more than I was using and look at me to see if I’m looking while they do assisted 1/4 reps.
Generally don’t bother other people though and actually seem like alright guys, just seem to think they’re very badass.

On the other hand, there’s the Army NCO who’s built like a brick shithouse. This guy is freaking massive(very impressive considering his job) and people tend to move out of his way when he’s around. Seems like a nice guy, though.

There’s an older mid 40’s guy who isn’t big but he’s definately in shape. Complimented me on my squat form once and said it’s nice to se other people who squat deep, as we are a dying breed. Never see him work legs, however.

The other freaking massive guy in my gym. Really big('bout 5’11, maybe 250-260 lbs with about 8-10% BF) who also seems like a really nice guy. Likes to deadlift.

Eastern european benchers/curlers. Like to talk really loudly in their native language, laugh even louder while looking at other members and like to drop weights whenever possible.

Me: I sweat. Like a lot. Not trendy. I don’t like getting an uunecessary spot because most peoples idea of a spot is taking half the weight. For some strange reaosn I take my bag into the weight room and leave it on the bag rack despite being given a locker key. I tend to claim the power rack as soon as I see it empty by throwing my towel on the bar to deter squat rack curlers. I can dealdift more than I can bench, WTF?!?! I DON’T curl! I do pull-ups and chins from a dead-hang. I’m also told I look very angry. I tend to grunt and make weird noises when squatting or deadlifting. I do catch a glimpse of hot cardio-bunnies who probably would rather I didn’t. I also think I’m badass 'cos I squat properly.

94

Classic tales of people I see at my gym.

I would classify myself as the:

Messy Chalk Guy: I hog the bucket of chalk by the squat rack and look pissed off if someone wants to stick their hands in the bucket for whatever reason to do their 20 Lb curls, smith machine bench press with bar coming down to their stomach.

95

I go to a huge state school, and there are two gyms on campus. I lift in the less busy, less centrally located one that generally attracts a more serious crowd. That won’t stop these interesting folks from showing up though:

TEAM SLOUCH: these guys do an insane amount of chest work. It’s almost all they can be seen doing. After a set (DB flys) one turns to another and says, “my doctor said I have bad posture. Maybe we should do back work.” His buddy quickly replies–“naw man you look great.”

THE HIPPIE: Long hair, tie-dye t-shirts, flip flops. Totally ripped though–even his legs

IF YOU GOT IT FLAUNT IT: This guy always wears one of two shirts: his football intramural champion shirt, or his Natural Science Scholars shirt. He spends twice as much time chatting with the ladies than training.

KINESIOLOGY MAJOR AND FRIENDS: this guy, with a notebook, several chart printouts, and a stopwatch, brings a couple friends to try out the new cool workout he learned in class. It’s usually something involving a medicine ball and a high degree of difficulty. after two sets, his friends quit, saying it’s too hard. He’s just been catching the ball.

FRAT GUY AND SORORITY BUNNY: our equivalent of the married couple. some tall, somewhat ripped frat guy will be showing a super hot chick how to do lunges, curls, etc. Meanwhile he does smith machine squats.

JEANS AND POLO: I can never figure this one out. there’s often some guy, professor or grad student looking type, lifting in whatever he wore to work. Jeans, collared shirt, belt, loafers. He doesn’t look like a slouch, but he doesn’t look like a guy so hardcore he’d lift even if he forgot his change of clothes. Can only be seen in the afternoon.

THE OLD POWERLIFTERS: I only saw these guys once, but they put on quite a display. they’re huge guys with guts who look like they once were super strong. They take over some area of the gym, load up a bar with 5 plates to a side, one guy chalks up, puts on knee wraps and a belt, and attempts to deadlift this massive load cold. He strains and strains but despite the encouragement of his onlookers, can’t budge the weight. They rerack the weight and leave without doing anything else.

96

[quote]mavis13 wrote:

The Im going to get ripped in a month - Had this guy tell me he was goin to get ripped in a month. I laughed my ass off when he said this. I told him cant and wont happen (he is a tubby guy) His response was well Ive been doing 2 a days. So doesnt matter you could lift for 24hrs a day and still not accomplish it. Well a month later I saw him still the same size walked up to him poked his belly said weres your six pack and laughed.

Ok so Im not ripping on anyone just pointing out some humor at the gym. Well except mr im going to get ripped in a month I just cant stand the guy and get the urge to stab him when he talks to me. I dont know why lol.[/quote]

That’s better than the loads of guys that hit the gym trying to get a six pack for spring break 3 weeks before spring break. Their generaly the guys doing sit ups and curling in th esquat rack.

97

Here are the people that really have pissed me off in my gym going:

The guys that have asked me for a spot on their smith machine squats

Guys that hook their ab straps up to the only pull up bar and precede to do 100 sets taking 30 minute breaks between each set

The guys that spend half their time on their cellphones. Today I waited on a squat rack that was being used by a guy text messaging. After he texted for about 10 minutes he finished up by pounding out quarter squats with 135 lbs.

The hundreds of extra people that show up at the gym in January but disappear in February or the ones that show up in March but disappear in April.

The guy that laughed at me when I was doing Waterbury’s GPP ASAP. I challenged him to do just one of the complexes, but he told me his training which included 100 sets of half pull ups was better for muscle.

Guys that do DB curls standing right in front of the weight rack so there is no way to get to any other weights.

PT that have girls convinced that the quickest way to get in shape is doing step up, curl, overhead press combos and that not making any progress for a month is perfectly normal.

The PT that told me that heavy weight training with squats and deadlifts was dangerous and that I should be focusing on training in unstable conditions. Like what an Alaskan crab fishing boat?

98

I’m sure some of these have been covered but my workout consists of these douche-bags.
The “Old Man Klepto”
-The men (typically) that jump on your weights or equipment as soon as you get up or set down the weights. They get the bench ten kinds of sweaty, move or change your weights and get up and just leave it. All the while completely oblivious to you being there.

The “I’m gonna cut my shirt to shreds so that everyone can see how cut I am” highschooler
-Name pretty much speaks for itself but they’re multiplying like rabbits.
The “3 Bra’s, 2 tank top” girls
-They just barely started puberty, they aren’t developed yet so they’re gonna push their little boobies up and out as far as they can so they take your spotter’s focus away when you’re trying 405.

99

[quote]Jibster wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:

Super-Thug, this is a white guy in his 40’s-60’s who wears a dew rag with a hat over it. he’s weird and i think he’s probably mentally disabled

We’ve got a dude just like this except he’s one of the silver sneakers crowd and has a few gold chains and lifting gloves. If I’m a little late in the morning I get to see the wave of silver sneakers come in starting around 8am. There’s a ton of freeweight space, 2 racks, smith, several benches, etc. and other than me and maybe 1-2 other lifters it’s all super seniors cruising around. Kind of like cocoon. [/quote]

oh shit, i left out the best part though. Super-Thug rollerblades to the gym, he also circles around the parking lot and will pick up trash.

at my old gym, there was a guy who looked like he had atrophied triceps. he also wore sunglasses (while he trained) and made retarded amounts of noise.

there was also another guy who seemed to be retarded. he called me a ‘hunky punk’ one day. he also repped 315 for like 15 reps…mad fast. he kinda scared the shit out of me.

100

The Jew he deadlifts (like 225 for a max) in a Yamakah…i think its kind of funny.

101

we got a new Hammer Strength flat bench a couple weeks ago.

i saw a guy doing abs on it today.

FML