yes exactly … i thought that was to much. And because you thought you won: i wanted to avoid a situation were you come home and read the post of a stranger on the internet, which makes you change your mind completly and question your entire life. Random postings of men on the internet can be soo powerful! Then again: I think that would be too much …
my point was to say that you are probably both right , but there is a severe mass of women who act like the guy wrote , not to say all women are like that
But one thing i wanted to point out though. You said maybe she is just that kinda girl who likes to dance and flirt but nothing serious.
I disagree that this might be the case. Lets say an individual is like that he/she would most likely not behave much different to his or her partner afterwards, as they would justify it for themself as having fun and nothing serious happened.
She is cheating and had regret in best case or she only felt bad because she could get caught.
And you brought up your situation and friends… you trust them. Good. But do they also return and act very strange and defensive ?
Ha! The idea of a guy on the internet making me question myself - again, I came away assuming we’d all come to an unspoken agreement that I’d won the debate with my superior argument.
my point was to say that you are probably both right , but there is a severe mass of women who act like the guy wrote , not to say all women are like that.
Cheaters? Yes, I know, I’ve met some. The ones I’ve had the pleasure of being hurt by were men, but I suppose that’s because I’m a woman. I believe they would have cheated with impunity if traveling with other men. In fact, I know one did. Not to say that all men are filthy conscienceless dirtbags, but the evidence I’ve gathered certainly supports that contention, no?
She is cheating and had regret in best case or she only felt bad because she could get caught.
And you brought up your situation and friends… you trust them. Good. But do they also return and act very strange and defensive ?
I think you’ve got me conflated with someone else. I don’t know know whether OP’s girl cheated - from my perspective she’s crossing lines she shouldn’t be, whether because she’s drinking or doing the “girls away” thing under discussion I don’t know. What I questioned was thefourthruffian’s claim that women vacationing with women “will almost universally cheat.” That is not supported by real evidence, and even his own observations are (in my view) skewed.
sorry emily, but the fact that you dated cheaters does not mean guys do that similar often.
There was recently a study published which went around on the media and the bottom line says , women are more likely to do it. So far thats the only evidence we have aside from all the shitty experience we all made.
and on OPs girlfriend… calling tinder dates at 3 am to ask for a coffe the next day? i dont know either. maybe i mixed up your post … but her behaviour is highly suspicious.
“That is not supported by real evidence, and even his own observations are (in my view) skewed.” - but he seems to be a good sample , giving insight from an recreational area…
Right, that was my actual point. I cannot extrapolate from my experience with two cheaters that all men cheat, because I am not dating any of the the ones who don’t and so they are not in my “field of research,” so to speak. His “sample” is no different. He knows about vacationing cheating women because that’s who he’s with. The non-cheaters ignore him, and he them. The “research” he posted was crap. The research I posted was not, though any survey-type research into matters of this sort will be unreliable.
There was recently a study published which went around on the media and the bottom line says , women are more likely to do it. So far thats the only evidence we have aside from all the shitty experience we all made.
Not to doubt you, but - I doubt you. I have no dog in the women-don’t-cheat race and don’t skew data to support my pet beliefs - if it’s real and true, then it is and I’d like to see it. I have never encountered anything to suggest that women are more likely to cheat than men. What I have seen is research suggesting that high-earning women have become as likely as men to cheat, which is very interesting if you’re interested in gender roles and such. On the whole, though, we lag behind men in all the bad behaviors as far as I know except suicide attempts and other self-injurious behaviors, where women take the lead.
Er, yeah. Violent crimes including murder, assault, domestic violence, and fighting/disorderly in general; drug abuse; rape as well as child molestation; infidelity; embezzlement and other white collar crimes; petty theft and other lower class crimes; arson; lighting fireworks when drunk that Go Wrong; hospitalizations for other stupid accidents; road rage speaking of accidents; regular old accidents (MVA) speaking of accidents and road rage…
Is this shocking to you? Are you, like, aware of the world?
I personally believe that many of the of the old customs around courtship (chaperoned outings with a suiter for instance) were less about “protecting a woman’s honor” and more about just plain “protecting the woman.”
They literally had to codify “Don’t strike women” in chivalry. They don’t make rules against things that aren’t happening.
Old societies knew men were naturally violent without studies.
Exactly! Men! Nothing but brutish, hairy animals! What are they good for, really, except lifting heavy, awkward-to-carry things; snuggling when it’s cold; and building the things you want around the house, or the house itself?
Also, and this speaks to their unspeakably violent nature, they are good for hiding behind when even hairier, more brutish threats present. This occurred here this past Sunday. We were showing our visiting friend our neighborhood, and we came across the beef cows on our neighbor’s farm. They started behaving strangely - usually one or two might start when we stand there looking at them, but mostly they stand there looking back. But our friend is from Barcelona, so we were speaking Spanish to them. This stirred them somehow and they started running away to the end of the pen, then running back toward us. The third time or so it happened it occurred to me that they were seeming agitated and I also noticed how flimsy the fence holding them was. I decided there was a possibility that they might stampede, so ducked behind my own personal brute for continued observation. This is not the first time I’ve decided that he makes for a superior front line. Because he’s practically a savage! You should see what he thinks constitutes “clean.” Not arranging the pillows on the couch or bed properly, that’s for sure!
Now now Em. This is where men and women differ greatly. When men clean we move furniture and break out tools- which makes a mess. When women clean they fix the pleats on the curtains and arrange the pillows- which is neat, but not clean.
Its like peanut butter and jelly. You need both to make a good sammich.
Lol. Yeah I never argued that men weren’t 10 kinds of awesome. I’m quite proud of being one myself. But there is a dark side to aggression and strength. That’s why societies had to build rules around certain behaviors.
Sex for instance. Ever notice how without rules or a moral compass a man will knock up a woman and split town? That’s why nearly every ancient culture had marriage and monogomy (more stringently enforced for women).
Basically if the woman gets pregnant that man is responsible for providing for that woman and child. He would be a social or religious pariah if he didn’t do right by them. In a time before paternity tests the only way to hold a man to account was monogomy/marriage.
Sexual revolution got rid of that though. Knock up whoever you want. Bail as soon as you two aren’t in puppy love any longer. Meh.
Also your man needs to learn the super secret man trick for subduing charging animals. Watch crocodile Dundee for clues.
I can go so far as acknowledging that “fixing things” has its advantages, but making things “clean” is not one of them. While cleaning for the Barcelona friend I looked over and saw him sanding a wall. Like, I’m trying to lay out the snowy white guest towel and he’s powdering the spotless sink with fresh construction dust. I had to snatch the towel away! This is unacceptable, Skyz, and I think you perfectly well know that. Certainly HE knows that now.
