How have you been holding up this week?
Also different question: I know that it took a lot of time before you were diagnosed with low t. Once that was somewhat clear though, how long did it take before you were on sufficient trt?
Week was alright. A lot of things going on in the world to be angry about but Iāve done what I can from a distance so. You?
Uhm, I donāt know. I havenāt gotten my last bloods back but Iām thinking Iāll probably be in decent range now if the trend holds. I can get back to you on that later in the week. Thatās about after a year of injections. I still donāt feel dialled in, not sure thatās possible on Nebido. I have a huge crash that isnāt at the tail-end of my injection frequency and my urologist response is basically āwell, that hasnāt happened to any other of my patientsā which is a really indirect way of blaming me.
So so. Work helps. Gets me out of the house and helps to focus.
Were you ever tempted to take matters into your own hands in regard to trt?
I feel your pain with your doc. Iām very frustrated with my my docs.
Yes, but there are a lot of buts.
Definitely. I know someone who has a lot of knowledge with that kind of stuff (he uses PEDs for perfomance enhancement though, not for trt).
I am tempted to give him a call about it. He knows my situation and said he wants me to get the actual trt because I deserve it and itās gonna be paid for by my insurance, plus the other benefits of doing it the official way. If I insisted, I know he would help me out though.
Iām not gonna lie, itās tempting since Iām so disappointed and fed up with the medical professionals who are supposed to help me.
That sounds different than what I have imagined. That avenue does not exist for me. If I was to take TRT into my own hands that means engaging in illegal behaviour. Just because exogeneous test is warranted for me medically does not make it legal for me to pursue it outside the loop that Iām already in.
What Iām talking about is illegal.
Exogenous hormons are illegal unless prescribed by a doc.
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Sorry, misunderstood
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So, this is GQs idea of looking good
Thatās Alex Honnold who is a top-tier world class all-time great climber. But, Iāve watched a lot of videos of the man and if he has a t-shirt on you wouldnāt think he exercises at all. This leads me to reflect on the echo chambers one can get stuck in with regards to physique expectations.
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My thoughts would be: whoās expectations are you trying to live up to but your own?
Not trying to start an intellectual fencing match here but what informs an individualās expectations? What inspires and informs taste, sense of aesthetics, opinions, morals, etcetera if not the never-ending discourse with other people (whether thatās through direct or indirect communication)?
I absolutely was looking for an intellectual fencing match, because I see both sides here. I just happened to pick the one you werenāt on.
We do tend to fence for the same team. But please, share your perspective. To what degree are expectations formed by the self without outside influences? Careful not ro resurrect Descartes
I guess you are right in that all perceptions are, at some level, based on past experience in life. So in that, you are correct.
I feel like itās a given though that someone like myself looking at Alex Hannold above would not in any form thinks he looks good. My thoughts are that it isnāt because of the GQ article, or because Iām a member of this site or any of the above, but something deeper. There is never a point in my life, before internet access, before ever visiting a gym, before I was even aware that any of the relevant factors existed, that I would have thought he looked good.
I always instinctively felt like the big, strong guys āshouldā be better at stuff and that it was a good thing to be big and strong. Watching Gladiators, I liked Trojan and Warrior because they were the biggest. In football, I remember clearly being really offended every time Ian Rush went on the field because Robbie Fowler had bigger, stronger legs and was therefore clearly a better player. Maybe something in my early life caused that, maybe not, but I believe weāre predisposed to aspire to certain things long before we become āinternet awareā etc.
Yeah, chicken and egg problem
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Hey man, how is it going?
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All good. And you?
Good to hear. Were you able to get some clearence from your doc?
Well so far so good. But it seems like I have a brain tumor (adenoma) and part of my pituitary is undersupplied with blood. I am not thrilled about those news but I also donāt know yet what that means after all.
Nah
Hopefully this will explain some of your recent experiences. I hope it was caught early enough and that youāll make it through treatment!
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Yeah I guess weāll see what this means for me. My father has a brain tumor as well, which was found by sheer coincidence. He doesnāt need any treatment for it other than regular check ins to see if it grows. Itās not at the pituitary in his case though. In his case it doesnāt pose any immediate threat and it isnāt showing any effects.
So all in all I donāt expect to die anytime soon but itās unsettling to learn this through a letter and donāt immediately be able to ask questions.
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