Friday 2020-12-11
Supposed to be a bench day. I’ve been thinking about my training a tad the last few days, and taking a historical view of it, and somewhat arrived at that doing this,
even though it has RPE prescriptions might send me down the same spin-my-wheels path that I’ve been on for so long since I consistently overdo everything.
Therefore, my intentions are to opt for 531 (again, tried it in the past) and maybe succeed this time at being an adult with my training. The template I’m keen on works for three days per week, as well as four, which is great because I don’t know how many days I should commit per week and still recover. I know I can be in the gym four days per week, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the best option for anything other than my ego and emotions which guide my “training” more often than not. More often than it should.
Yesterday, I felt inclined to do deadlifts today, and start on SVR II-ish with the press on Sunday. But, I woke up in the middle of the night, did a weird glute bridge to adjust my position in bed, and my hamstring has been giving me smack ever since. Sitting, walking, biking, standing, I feel it all the time. Not swollen though, so it’s probably fine, just not something I wanted to do jumps with or deadlifts with.
Obviously, I figured I’ll just bench instead, no big deal. One day of rest, I’ll be good to press.
Then my endo called this morning, and he’d gotten back the results from all the tests he has run and now he’s swung back around to my idea that maybe I underate/overexercised myself into being on TRT and said that when I feel as if I can stomach another go at it we’ll try going off again. And then I attended the lecture on orthorexia.
Emotionally, it sucked a bit more to hear that idea expressed by someone other than myself, and yeah. I kinda trudged along during the day, ate my pre-workout meal, getting ready to go (although not really feeling it) and then I just decided: I’ll just take today off. I don’t think I’d build myself up physically or mentally today by going to the gym. Felt hungry, so I ate a meal, even though it wasn’t “time”. Been relaxing on the couch, watching a movie absentmindedly.
I’m very fortunate that my sister wanted to have a chat today, and she reminded me that I shouldn’t blame myself, like… the responsibility isn’t mine alone and that an eating disorder is a disease that has an impact on actions taken and remember that.
So, yeah. “rest day”.