Saturday 2020-11-28 PM
PM Lifting
Warm-up: Javorek Complex
| Exercise | Set | Reps | Weight | Rest |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| A. Squat | -6 | 10 | Bar | |
| -5 | 8 | 70 | ||
| -4 | 6 | 95 | ||
| -3 | 6 | 102 | ||
| -2 | 4 | 110 | ||
| -1 | 4 | 115 | ||
| 0 | 1 | 120 | ||
| 1 | 6 | 110 | 3-5m | |
| 2 | 6 | 110 | ||
| 3 | 6 | 110 | ||
| B. Front Squat (belt + bench) | 1 | 4 | 70 | 2m |
| 2 | 4 | 70 | ||
| 3 | 4 | 70 | ||
| 4 | 4 | 70 | ||
| 4 | 4 | 70 | ||
| C. Split Squat Clean Grip | 1 | 8/leg | 40 |
I was just completely wiped for this session and couldn’t get through it all. Thursday I had a very active day with being on my feet and my hamstring has not recovered from that. Could also be that for me squats and climbing in the same day is just a bad blend.
I had to muster so much energy and effort on these squats (the returning reader will notice this is a regression). Like, I had to dial body tension up to eleven. Never curled my toes so hard. Felt like death even before my first work set. On the unilateral work I really noticed how bad it was, I’ve done alternating leg split squats with 20 more kilos as part of a complex in a not too distant past. I decided to call it quits on the leg work despite having planned to do linear hack squats.
Front squats were better than last time though.
I skipped on some ab-work too, I was getting a gnarly cramp in one of the ab muscles and couldn’t complete a set without having to reach up and stretch it out and massage it.
I believe my hips feel banged up after squats today was because I couldn’t get my right hamstring to participate appropriately, as I know I can back squat pain free ordinarily, but I imagine if my leg(s) aren’t doing their job I’m having to squat morning and that’s having some femurs crashing into some other boney things.
And elbow did not like back squats. Can’t wait for the SSB. And trap-bar. Will try and not have climbing on the same day as back squats and see if that is okay.
On elbow rehab, I called my physio but he has a four week waiting period, and I did that yesterday after this happening on Thursday
The rehab I was doing was self-administered. Seemingly it was working, I was becoming less symptomatic over time until the pop. Will give it a few days to sort out whatever acute trauma happened and then resume my rehab but two-on/one-off/one-on/one-off rather than daily.
My mind returns to the sentiments I posted here,
Anyway, I’ve rigged my phone to remind me with whatever exercises I need to do from the L-protocol and it should take between 50-80 days according to the science to heal up. Pretty sure it’s the same injury as in the past (high hamstring strain) as sitting on it hurts.
Training is not making me feel awesome at the moment. I have however been feeling more energetic, athletic, and fit, but I don’t feel good at all. If I didn’t have all these tweaks everywhere I’d be really keen to do this at the moment
but I do have the tweaks so I have to work to fix that first. Not really ready to hop into that PPL-split I posted earlier, as I’m trying to have a life beyond training and that’s more training days but I will take that plunge if I need to. I’ll start by taking a note from this general idea nevertheless,
and employ the continuous ramp for now. I’ve worked hard for my back squat, I don’t want to bring it out of rotation if I can help it. And, it appears as if I can still back squat and deadlift without making my hamstring injury worse. Until I feel as if I’m actively harming my recovery I don’t want to swap them out just yet.
I will also acknowledge that despite seeing progress in the climbing hall and on upper body lifts I don’t think I’m eating enough to support my training but that’s another can of worms entirely. Got accepted to the eating disorder clinic, not sure when I start out-patient care there though so in the interim I picked up a book I’ve heard that they suggest for their patients to get ahead of things.
I’ve relapsed with regards to undereating and orthorexia as a response to working again (and gaining weight too fast for my comfort previously). And that certainly informs why so many joints are giving me the finger.
Interestingly, I read that climber’s have a problem (maybe I’ve written about this already) with imbalances in their forearm wherein the “antagonist” muscles (flexors/extensors are a co-contraction kinetic chain) become weaker than the finger flexors. I.e., take an average person off of the street and their finger extensors will be stronger than the climbers. Allegedly, climbers will even sleep with their hands flexed which doesn’t allow adequate recovery to happen. One exercise to combat this is holding a weighted pinch grip and in the past I used to be able to do this with 12 kg. I re-tested today, and I’ve regressed 5 kilos! And this imbalance encourages tendonitis and/or pulley injuries. So that is something I’ll start doing every other day.
Mentally I’ve been in worse places, but I heard this lyric today and it is not far removed from my recent and ongoing experiences,
When suddenly I was engulfed with fear and panic
As my body began to fade
In this moment my mind was full of clarity
But my body insisted it was in danger
I looked around and I told myself I was safe, I was fine
But I was convinced that something was wrong
Before I knew it I felt as though I was going to
Fall and fade away
My body grew weak
And soon enough I found myself in a hospital bed being told what I went through was anxiety
I refused to believe this story
I searched and searched for the cause of what had happened to me
I began to feel detached from reality
I felt as though I was seeing the world through a glass
I got blood work done
Analysis of my mind and body to no avail
The doctor said it was anxiety
But how could it be anxiety?
How could anxiety make me physically feel off balance?
How could anxiety make me feel as though I was fading from this world and on the brink of death?
Derealization
The sense of being out of one’s body
I’m not here
I’m not me
I’m not real
Nothing is
Nothing but this feeling of panic
Nobody understands
Nobody knows the sufferings
This physical feeling
It can’t be anxiety
It can’t
Or can it?
Can it in fact be the mind controlling the body?
Yeah, of course
I’m so in control of my mind and my body
But I’m subconsciously forcing myself into a state
Of self bondage entangled by the ropes of my own mind
I am unhappy
Not with life
But with this feeling
I am scared, I am human, I am a man
But I look in the mirror and I see a child
I am an adult who recognize grown ups don’t really know shit
And they never did
And it scares me
Cause now I’m just a grown up who doesn’t know shit
But one thing is I do know this feeling, this horrible feeling is going to kill me
No, no this feeling
This anxiety is nothing
I have anxiety
Just like you, the person I wrote this for
And together we will overcome this feeling
We will remember despite the attacks and constant feeling of our mind and body being on the edge
That we are alive
And any moments we have free of this feeling we will not take for granted
We will rejoice in this gift that is life
We will rejoice in this day that we have been given
We will accept our anxiety and strive for the betterment of ourselves
Starting with mental health
We will accept ourselves as we are
And we will be happy with the person we see in the mirror
We will accept ourselves
And live with anxiety— Logic. Song: “Anziety”