After refusing many pleas to run for governor, I have reconsidered and now enter the race as an unofficial write-in candidate. After all, why should I remain the ONLY nut in California
who ain’t running?
My party, the Guns and Dope Party, invites extremists of both right and left to unite behind the shared goals of
Get those pointy-headed Washinton bureaucrats off our backs and off our fronts too!
guns for everybody who wants them; no guns for those who don’t want them
drugs for everybody who wants them; no drugs for those who don’t want them
freedom of choice, free love, free speech, free Internet and free beer
California secession – Keep the anti–gun and ant-dope fanatics on the Eastern side of the Rockies
Lotsa wild parties every night by gun-toting dopers
Animal protection – Support your right to keep and arm bears
More position papers will follow; we know at least 69 good positions
Not just California, but 20 other states! It’s a bit strange how people from other countries like Canada’s social values, etc but we’re told constantly by our Americanizing politicians & the media that we’re not corporate enough, not progressive enough, we can’t sustain what we have etc. Our politicians (especially Steven Harper & Paul Martin) want to do the opposite of what people from other countries admire us for, figure that one out.
“As soon as one considers the idea, the advantages become obvious. Citizens of the new Canadian provinces would enjoy basic entitlements and benefits unheard of in the U.S., including: universal health care; good and affordable colleges and universities; good mass transit in major cities; lower rates of violent crime and pollution; affordable prescription drugs; and enhanced respect for the civil rights of all people, including gays and lesbians.”
I can think of absolutely nothing that would be better for America than to either have California get the hell out of the Union, or for the Democrats to get the hell out of the country.
