I must say he is physically very attractive, but that doesn’t really excite me about him
LOL definitely not. I’m friends with some of them too and none are particularly lean or care to be. The weird thing about this place is that it’s really hard to justify being an asshole
One on each shoulder, two by their belts. Walked out of Disney World one time like this because it was the end of “extra magic hours” and we’d been there since 7:00 am or so.
Ask him to help you in the subject. Offer him food in exchange.
Viola, a date that is not a date.
Yeah, he offered to study together sometime. He also offered that to at least 5 other people, so I’m assuming we’ll be in a study group sometime in the forseeable future
Take the initiative. Set a time and place. Don’t invite anyone else.
Men are simple creatures. I, like Ron Swanson, like beautiful brunette women and breakfast foods. Assuming he is a man worth having, he also will like beautiful brunette women and breakfast foods.
Offer to cook breakfast for dinner. No pig, in case he is Jewish. Waffles and farm-scrambled eggs will do fine. Or, if you want to show off, replace the waffles with french toast.
Edit:
Also, you missed the important element. Ask for HIS HELP. Good men like to help people. That is distinct from “studying together.”
I think women tend to WAY overthink these things. This should be simple. Give him a compliment on something, anything. Smile at him. You won’t come off as a creep, you’ll just be signaling interest. Women can generally be more forward and take more initiative than they think. Especially in college.
And don’t worry about his female friends. They have nothing to do with you. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Be confident in what you bring to the table. Everyone has preferences. What is beautiful to one person may not be to another. You may be his ‘type’, you don’t know yet!
It’s a new - eh, position called Reverse Caveman. Different from cowboy or oil driller. More modern and hygienic.
Okay,so he’s not perfect. He benches like a bro( half reps) and doesn’t train legs
It’s funny and frustrating. I have a hard time having normal conversations with him. He walks around chatting up everyone but just nods when he sees me. I have to approach him and strike up a conversation whereas he starts them with everyone else. What’s up?
On the female friends thing…
I went to an all-male high school. When I graduated, I went to a university that was 70% women. I just did 4 years surrounded by men, so it was like getting out of prison when I saw so much women. I made a LOT of female friends. I was always around them. However, many of them I was in no way interested in them romantically. I just valued being around someone DIFFERENT than what I had been around for 4 years.
It definitely can be confusing. I met my future wife under those circumstances, and she relayed to me how she had a crush on me when we first met, and spent the first few weeks trying to figure out which of the girls I was always around was the one I was dating, only to discover that the answer was none of them.
I guess this was more an anecdote than anything else, but the point I was hoping to arrive at is don’t rule yourself out just because he hangs around other women.
You deserve better. Do an inventory of your characteristics. Those are assets. Those are why you deserve a guy that does full reps, and maybe he doesn’t do squats-but he does do dead lifts.
Unfortunately no, he doesn’t deadlift. But, he fits everything else
I think I found the anecdote of “wanting him” all the time: remembering how much I hate intimate physical contact with anyone other than my parents.
I was just listening to a podcast sponsored by a “manscaping” company. The thought of balls immediately turned off the attraction
Realistically, none of that actually matters. Physically-things can change in an instant. My brother went from 6’1, 220 lbs. In very good shape to quadruplegic in one second. Fortunately he’s pretty smart, decent and outgoing. One thing he hasn’t had any problems with is attraction and companionship.
I’m the same as him when I’m interested in a girl. I’m like the guy that knows everybody and is extroverted (that’s not true) in the eyes of people, and they cannot believe me when I tell them I’m an introvert, but my true nature surfaces when around girls I fancy. I even have shyness saying just hi
In the Talmud, it says a wife makes the husband complete and the husband makes the wife complete, but both parts must be complete in themselves before being complete together.
I think you might be incomplete on your own.
I am deeply religious, so I don’t think premarital sex is a good idea (not that I was fully mature in that regard at all times in my life), but I (and each of my wives – I was a widower for a time) really enjoyed physicality with each other. It’s a lot of fun. Heck, wife No. 2 and I almost slipped off and married each other in private (Judaism does not require a ceremonial marriage to be valid), just so we could get after getting busy.
My Internet diagnosis (ha!) is you’ve got an issue with physicality that is not altogether healthy. A reasonable sex drive is part of being a healthy person.
Perhaps you should explore why physicality seemingly repulses you before pursuing any relationship. I wouldn’t be surprised he picks up on your repulsion because you unconsciously cringe away or something when he gets close.
If I am 100% off base here, don’t hesitate to tell me. I’m guessing the dark and have major jet lag.
maybe you make him nervous. Maybe that’s his reaction to someone he’s actually interested in. When I was younger, it was always easier for me to talk to girls I wasn’t actually interested in dating. So, this may not be a bad thing. You’re young, he’s young. You haven’t actually known him very long, and you don’t know him very well. So given the fact that you’re working with very limited information, there aren’t very many assumptions you can actually make.
This is why I like people who are direct with their expectations and desires. Makes life easier. Guessing games are hard and confusing, lol.
aaaaaaand this is something you’re going to have to work through. I have trouble imagining you entering into a successful, fulfilling relations with a man while you have this mindset. I don’t mean to offend you in any way, just trying to be real.
Ha! if only I were lucky enough for him to actually “get close”. With that said I agree with you and @flipcollar . I need to do some growing up. The thing is, physical attraction with the opposite gender was not discussed and tacitly discouraged. Honestly, it was/is awkward hugging or “cuddling” with my dad
Totally understandable.
I was very awkward with the opposite sex growing up. And I grew up in sort of a ‘cold’ house. Not a lot of affection in traditional ways between me and my parents. I didn’t hear ‘I love you’ very often (maybe a couple times a year), I didn’t hug my parents, etc. And dating was discouraged. So when it came to physical contact with people outside the family, I also had trouble adapting.
For me, the adaptation came with effort. I had to fail to learn. I had to embarrass myself sometimes. After enough time, after paying enough attention to how other people acted around people they cared about, etc, I kinda figured it out. I listened to my friends, people I was close to, about how people who care about each other generally act, and I learned from it.
The good news is, you can do it! If you don’t want to be the person you were growing up, if you want to be warmer, more affectionate, you can do it. Hope my story helps a little!
Turns out, he does have a girl.