Mutton Chops: How Awesome are They?

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I think mutton chops are really cool and would totally grow them if I could, but I heard from a very reliable source (she seemed legit) that they are only for rednecks.

They also seem to make one very strong, as I know of at least two people with chops who are hella strong.

So, mutton chops, good to go or only for schoolbus dwelling hillfolk?

Also…

How much can I expect my total to improve if I grow muttonchops and can this be done by using some sort of mutton chop prosthesis?

Attached find an image of General Burnside, the once gubernatorial chops of Rhode Island (freakin’ sweet, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha) and the facial hair that set the style.

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If I grew them, I’d be afraid I’d wake up one day thinking I had a badger on my face.

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You don’t just decide to grow chops like that on a whim. We’re talking a serious time and effort commitment here…like getting a PhD in Molecular Biology. Are you prepared to make the personal sacrifices necessary to cultivate that rugged look? You’ll have to assemble a team of styling products that you never knew existed…Ol’ Ezekial’s 3 in 1 Chop Wax/Gout Elixir/Coloured People repellant, for starters.

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[quote]PimpBot5000 wrote:
You don’t just decide to grow chops like that on a whim. We’re talking a serious time and effort commitment here…like getting a PhD in Molecular Biology. Are you prepared to make the personal sacrifices necessary to cultivate that rugged look? You’ll have to assemble a team of styling products that you never knew existed…Ol’ Ezekial’s 3 in 1 Chop Wax/Gout Elixir/Coloured People repellant, for starters.
[/quote]

coloured people repellant?..lol.

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Why grow mutton chops when you can buy them here.
http://www.magicmakers.com/retail/beards/sideburns.html

BTW, don’t count on getting any a$$. Women hate them.

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[quote]Geminspector wrote:
Why grow mutton chops when you can buy them here.
http://www.magicmakers.com/retail/beards/sideburns.html

BTW, don’t count on getting any a$$. Women hate them.
[/quote]

Totally. Elvis never got laid.

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Too much maintenance, just be natural and let it grow. I retired in 2005 and haven’t shaved since.

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I grew chops last Halloween,I was a greaser and got lots of compliments none of which came from my wife.

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I saw a guy with Mutton Chops recently. He worked in a bike repair shop. I immediately pictured him riding one of those old-timey bikes with the giant front wheel.

If you’re going to go Mutton Chop, you’ve got to go all the way.

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[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:
I saw a guy with Mutton Chops recently. He worked in a bike repair shop. I immediately pictured him riding one of those old-timey bikes with the giant front wheel.

If you’re going to go Mutton Chop, you’ve got to go all the way.[/quote]

haha…way to fit the sterotype

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I saw a guy with chops last summer. He was probably in his late 40s or early 50s… and with his mom at the supermarket. He was really sweaty, had on big black workboots, polyester pants and a white t-shirt, slickback hair and he smelled really bad. Almost salty. I couldn’t stand the sight or smell of him whenever we crossed paths in the aisles. Kind of ruined my day.

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[quote]amphibian wrote:
Too much maintenance, just be natural and let it grow. I retired in 2005 and haven’t shaved since.[/quote]

word.
my supervisor has to remind me to trim my beard occasionally.
but someday, someday…