the simple answer to the doctor thing is that men don’t like to waste money, and women like to think everything in the world is wrong with them. Ta-da.
All this story says is that women are more willing to waste their husbands money to have a doctor tell them they have a cold and should rest and take an OTC decongestant for a few days.
[quote]ALDurr wrote:
Do you know why men die earlier than women? Because they want to. It’s the only time they get any peace and quiet.[/quote]
My good man, I am glad we can finally agree on something.
Mike
not sure if its true or not, but ive heard from my friends that they actually had to change the firefighting tests, one test for women with lighter weights/ shorter and one for men with more weights/ longer course. If im in a burning building i dont care about equality. I want someone that can save me to save me, not someone that can try and save me
Whoever says men are the weaker sex - make them eat a couple Alpha Male tablets. Their delusion will die within a couple hours.
Also, men’s life span is shorter on_average. The people who enter the book of records for extremely long life span are typically men. But on the other hand men like to go skydiving, motorcycle racing, bull fighting, war mongering and other friendly activities that mess up the average. 
You young bucks need to practice up on a phrase now to get ready for the inevitable… just keep repeating “yes dear”.
[quote]vroom wrote:
You young bucks need to practice up on a phrase now to get ready for the inevitable… just keep repeating “yes dear”.[/quote]
my wife is gonna be my bitch.
[quote]A18 wrote:
not sure if its true or not, but ive heard from my friends that they actually had to change the firefighting tests, one test for women with lighter weights/ shorter and one for men with more weights/ longer course. If im in a burning building i dont care about equality. I want someone that can save me to save me, not someone that can try and save me[/quote]
Yea, it’s like those COPS shows where the female cop is getting nervous with the unruly 6’2", 200+lb man and can’t pull out her mace because her hand is shaking, and the commentator says how lucky she was to have back-up come along quickly.
Same goes for any male cop who can’t restrain someone, or is too fat to run half a block in a chase.
I know, I know, that’s why they have strength in numbers, and weapons, but they shouldn’t be so nervous that it compromises their time to react with their weapons, and they ALL should be able to easily restrain any average, or slightly above average person by themselves, or they shouldn’t have that job.
They should have to pass, and retake a rigorous physical fitness and self-defence course periodically.
Of course men are stronger. That’s why we want them.
Why would you surrender to a sex who isn’t going to be able to contain you?
On a different note;
There is a spanish saying regarding women which translates:
“How can you trust an animal that bleeds every month and doesn’t die?”
Maybe we live longer because we bleed to death slowly…
[quote]A18 wrote:
If im in a burning building i dont care about equality. I want someone that can save me to save me, not someone that can try and save me[/quote]
This is brilliant!
Very true.
[quote]hockechamp14 wrote:
vroom wrote:
You young bucks need to practice up on a phrase now to get ready for the inevitable… just keep repeating “yes dear”.
my wife is gonna be my bitch.[/quote]
“Yes dear”
; )
[quote]deadlifter405 wrote:
ALDurr wrote:
Do you know why men die earlier than women? Because they want to. It’s the only time they get any peace and quiet.
Do you know why divorce is so expensive?
Because it’s worth it![/quote]
My dad once gave me some good advice he said “son don’t get married unless you can afford a divorce”
[quote]hockechamp14 wrote:
vroom wrote:
You young bucks need to practice up on a phrase now to get ready for the inevitable… just keep repeating “yes dear”.
my wife is gonna be my bitch.[/quote]
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Wiping tears from eyes That’s is truly funny! I’m guessing that either you’ll NEVER intend on getting married or you are going to move to a country where women are treated like property? That is about the only way she will be your bitch. She might be A bitch, but YOUR bitch? Forget it! Enjoy being single. (BTW, This is all in good fun, so don’t get offended. ;))
[quote]Alpha F wrote:
hockechamp14 wrote:
vroom wrote:
You young bucks need to practice up on a phrase now to get ready for the inevitable… just keep repeating “yes dear”.
my wife is gonna be my bitch.
“Yes dear”
; )
[/quote]
OK, maybe there is one.
[quote]Alpha F wrote:
hockechamp14 wrote:
vroom wrote:
You young bucks need to practice up on a phrase now to get ready for the inevitable… just keep repeating “yes dear”.
my wife is gonna be my bitch.
“Yes dear”
; )
[/quote]
Me and the wife often get into fights and beat the shit outta eachother.
SMACK!
Wife: “In yo face!”
SMACK!
Me: “I’m the Juggernaut BITCH!”
90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. 99%+ kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.
[quote]jp_dubya wrote:
90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. 99%+ kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.[/quote]
That is what prenupts are for. I have had too many “previously married” friends to ignore that.
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.” The woman replies, “I’ll miss you…”
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That’s a good idea… you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
[quote]Jillybop wrote:
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.” The woman replies, “I’ll miss you…”
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That’s a good idea… you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
[/quote]
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You need to give your sister some lessons.
[quote]Jillybop wrote:
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.” The woman replies, “I’ll miss you…”
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That’s a good idea… you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
[/quote]
A man walks into a bar looking quite disheveled. The bartender looks at him and asks: “Got into a fight with the wife again?”
Man: “Yeah! and this time I had her crawling on her hands and knees!”
Bartender: “Why? What was she saying?”
Man: “Come out from under the bed you chicken shit!!!”