Men and Women, Women and Men

Aggressors in domestic abuse are equal in gender if my memory serves me correctly. My therapist who practiced for nearly 40 years had plenty of “equality” in his office.

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I’m starting to wish I was one. Stupidly I got into a ‘cook off’ with my wife and daughter. Tonight my daughter cooks, tomorrow my wife and Saturday for me. I could either be shit or great at cooking, I dunno as my wife does all the cooking. As the good Lord said it should be.

Only kidding but I am going to get annihilated, damn male ego :smile:

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Play to your strengths … I’m far and away better cooking steaks and fish than my wife … in a cook off is beat her hands down if I was cooking a roasted bird or beef roast dinner but she’s win a chicken breast dish or some sort of savory pie

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Re: push for women to “bust their ass” as many say

My generation had a huge uptick in latchkey kids. And I experienced firsthand being one and spending time with others and seeing the enormous damage to them that resulted from being them. It seems to be a pervasive attitude that the typical woman is some talented, cosmopolitan hot shot part of a “power couple” with enormous resources for their childcare while they bring home the big bucks when that was not typical at all in middle class NYC towns in the 70s to 90s. I have the stories and anyone resourceful enough can find the stories too. Dangerous subcultures, truancy, depression, behavioral disorders, girls aged 13 -plus being sexually abused by perverted boys, drug abuse, even some incarceration.

Pushing women to do serious work en masse worked for some or many and it didn’t work for many.

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I don’t think sitting around watching sport on TV is going to win it for me

…I meant in the kitchen … jeeeeze … tough crowd today

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Sounds about right, the difference is that men are much less likely to complain and women are much less likely to be charged. Of course you would sound like a pussy calling the cops and saying a girl pushed you or hit you in the arm, but the problem is that for a woman to be charged you need physical evidence or multiple witnesses while a man can be charged based on accusations alone. There are a lot of men sitting in jail because a woman got upset and told lies to the cops.

If I could go back in time I would have gotten into something else. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but the problem is that to open a small restaurant here you are looking at $250,000 at the minimum and you can’t get a bank loan because it’s too high risk, private investors only. And when it comes to working for people, while the minimum wage has nearly doubled in the last 10 years the average wages for cooks have barely gone up. Fortunately I got a unionized job and it’s not too bad, but if I had know it would be this way I would have done something else for sure.

Earlier this morning I drove past a place I quit after they tried to give me some bullshit raise 10 years ago. I heard the place had closed a few years ago and the building was for sale, now I see the windows and doors all boarded up. Serves them right.

How old are you? I’m 36 and I had the same experience. Maybe close to 1/3 of the kids at the first high school I went to ended up dropping out. Stabbings and fights involving dozens of people were not uncommon. Heroin wasn’t really a thing back in those days around here, but any other drug was easily available. Quite a few kids overdosed on Gravol, apparently you can get high if you take enough but you might end up in the ER. For the record, I was only into weed. I was one of the few who didn’t smoke cigarettes too.

It’s hard to say how much feminism was directly responsible, but a lack of parental supervision and positive role models was certainly an issue. I never really thought about this until now to tell you the truth. Back in the 60s it was still normal for women to stay home, but kids were getting mixed up in drugs and crime too, maybe just not on such a large scale.

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I know man, twas my attempt at humour :wink:

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I’m 40. Have you seen the movie Kids?

Not in about 20 years, but from what I remember that sounds like an accurate comparison aside from them getting AIDS.

The earlier Gen X people in my borough had more dangerousness actually.

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Yes, same here in the UK, something crazy like 80% fail in the first year.

I was in Lisbon, Portugal, a while back and there was a foodhall where they had maybe 24 pop up kitchens, a couple of which were from Michelin Star restaurants. They had big long benches and tables and you could get your starter from one restaurant, main another and wine from another. It really was a great place to eat and it was packed all day. I had braised beef cheek in a poncy red jus and it was jaw dropping, no pun intended. If I was to invest in eateries then that would be the model I’d follow. I’ll try find a link.

Sorry for going off piste OP.

Edit for link: https://www.timeoutmarket.com/lisboa/en/

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It’s as repulsive as the dim wits going on about their “sarcasm.”

Yea… A condescending half-wit is SOOOO attractive.

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Yes. Harmony Korrine. Gummo ?

Been on a hundred calls exactly like that. Police require facts, evidence, proof… Before arresting someone. Makes for a tough decision.

Most of the younger guys were just some little punks who liked to cause trouble when they were with a group of their friends but totally harmless on their own. But a lot of the dangerous older guys either got deported or locked up for a long time so they didn’t really last.

Nowadays its different, seems like kids don’t even fight much anymore but there are a lot of shootings. Ottawa is a relatively quite place but in the summer there are several shootings every week (winter is too cold, get frostbit on your trigger finger). Toronto apparently has more shootings and murders per capita than NYC right now, every day there are multiple shootings.

And that’s how it has to be because otherwise anyone could get anyone they don’t like thrown in jail for nothing. I don’t know about where you are, but over here it’s only women who have that power.

No, that wasn’t me! I may have been quoting greenboy and the quote function made it look like I’d said it, but no. I think people are people, and while some cultures are impoverished enough that women will accept pretty much any American male, or are very traditional, you can find examples very easily of these “foreign wives” becoming haranguing nightmares once comfortably settled into their new American lives. I think part of this is that men who, for example, do the mail order bride thing (or whatever they’re called now) are doing so because some deficit in their personality or lifestyle makes it difficult for them to get women locally. Give the new bride 3-4 years and her Green Card, and she’s going to find him as off-putting as the women who rejected him before he got her.

I agree this is happening, but I think of it as the evolution of our language. TV is full of swearing, girls and boys hang out together in ways they didn’t formerly, and we’re all just…more relaxed about language. I think it’s fine, personally. But I like all the words, even the bad ones. Loud and rude…are these women cutting up and laughing and it’s at high volume, or are they using abusive language (rude) to be nasty? To me there’s a difference. “Ladylike” can mean different things according to context, and in my view should.

Before I go any further, I want to clarify that by “ass-crawled” I mean I started with “we have a situation” and went on to discuss it without bad words or escalation of tone. But I’m sure it was unpleasant for her given that it was a fuck-up, and not the first. “I cannot stress enough the importance of maintaining client confidentiality” isn’t abusive, but nor is it enjoyable to hear, I’m sure.

Because exactly this. Fix it so it never happens again, and we’re cool.

I agree! I am all for physical fitness tests where that is appropriate. I’m not looking for women to be men, or God forbid (because I like masculine men) for men to be women. But if there are problems getting a shot for women who are fully capable of and want to be CEO’s, they should be identified and remedied. Just because I’m a feminine homebody and so is your wife, and you and my husband like that kind of woman, doesn’t make it The Way It Should Be. As I’ve said many times on these boards, not all women are pretty and not all women are feminine and arouse protective feelings in men. They should be allowed to thrive regardless.

Close. Most, but by no means all, incidences of domestic violence have mutual aggression. The issue of course is that men can do so much damage to the lighter frames of women relative to what women generally do to men. Still, the Violence Against Women Act of 1994 was amended to increase parity between men and women after men’s rights activists rightly pushed for it.

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Well, as I understand, the 60’s is when all this started to take off. Increasingly in media married men were depicted as bigoted, squares, chumps, and because of the war of the sexes and both genders working en masse with atrocious commute times, many ordinary men lost authority in their households and Became apathetic. Can we blame all of them though? Who the hell has energy to force some kid to practice piano or Math or language after working 8 to 10 hours and then sitting on a goddamn highway for another 1 or 2?! So many men went from protector and provider to a permissive schlub.

If our elites want to mess with the role of man as protector/authority and woman as nurse/caregiver… well we have some results.

Even with the best parenting one can wind up with a rotten teenager for a kid, but the sheer amount of no-good losers (some not losers now) was astonishing, and would have sane adults asking “WTF raised these people?!”

I think I’ll try to calm down for now. Anyone who’s annoyed with my recent posts, just say so. I’m both passionate and admittedly infuriated when I think of such matters.

I’ll say this by way of compliment. Some posters over the past year have managed to even out some of my resentful feelings.

When one experiences and sees unsavory things they don’t want that for their own children. I’ve even gotten into mild arguments with my wife over education and “Tiger parenting”. Im planning on my kids going to the prep-STEM summer camp two blocks away. it can be paid for by the week attended. I told her I want 4 to 8 weeks. She responded “that’s highly unnecessary! 2 is fine. See how it is. don’t want them cooped up and pressured all summer when we can make summer memories. We’re not doing the tiger parenting!”

I actually don’t know where I’m going with this. But anyone reading will get the drift.,

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It existed before that too, there was drugs and crime in decades and “juvenile delinquency” before that. Look at the prohibition era. I don’t have any first hand accounts from anyone born before the 50s but from what I understand there was always a segment of society that was into dysfunctional living, that segment was a small subculture but as time went on it became mainstream. Now weed is legal, high school kids overdose on opioids regularly, and some areas downtown look like a zombie movie.

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Sometimes when I read a greenboy post I think it is EmilyQ, as their attitudes and writing styles are identical. But then I see the user name and realize that it is greenboy.

Probably the same person with two user names?

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