Men afraid of commitment?

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361

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
He’s a nice guy, hopefully it will go down well.

[/quote]

Not very likely[/quote]

It did! Not a problem at all. Possibly a positive result, if anything.[/quote]

Sorry, we misunderstand each other. I’m saying the whole relationship won’t go down well for him.[/quote]

Actually, I’m beginning to think possibly otherwise. It’s still very early and there’s no way to know, but - he certainly has my attention.

AC, you said don’t spend too much time together, but what about emailing and texting? Is that meant to be limited, too?[/quote]

Ha ha ha.

I’m obviously not AC, but, yes, of course, Em!

You really do lose your otherwise excellent thinking skills at times like this, don’t you? :slight_smile:

<Now waiting for AC to come along and tell me I’m completely wrong and should leave the date counseling to him!>[/quote]

I’m hoping he does tell you that, because otherwise I’ve already blown it. :frowning:
[/quote]

Yup, you’ve blown it! LOL Chushin is correct, how can you give him the gift of missing you when you call/text/email all the time?

Silly girl! LOL The goal is to PROLONG the “courtship” so that you can have some freedom to spread your wings a little, correct? If that’s not the case and the “new” goal is to jump to the nearest available suitor and snap right back into your relationship comfort zone, then by all means, text/call/email away! Cuz that’s exactly what will happen.

I’m betting it’s happening already. You’ve passed the point of “no return”, haven’t you? We are, at this point, prolonging the inevitable, aren’t we? [/quote]

I had passed it, it would seem, and yes, yes, we were. :-/

But he’s so smart - way, way brighter than I am, and it’s exciting. I did kiss a geologist, who’s very nice and has an outstanding body. But I dunno. It’s hard for me to focus on more than one thing at a time.

Plus this guy is like a Nephorm in the appropriate age range. What smart girl wouldn’t jump?[/quote]

That’s pretty much what I figured. What smart girl wouldn’t jump, indeed. LOL Your scarcity mentality will be your undoing. There are PLENTY of fish in the sea, Em. But if his hooks are in you already (i.e. he’s flipped the necessary switches in your pretty little brain) then a relationship with him is a foregone conclusion at this point. Enjoy the ride, and we’ll all be here when the carousel stops again.

Be careful with this one, Em.
[/quote]

I guess there is always the hope that the carousel slows, but never stops…

Good luck to you, Em.

I’ll miss the “new, lesbian & free” you whose been around lately.[/quote]

We’ll see. I’m not going anywhere quickly. Here, I’ll put my leg back up, or something, how’s that?

363

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
He’s a nice guy, hopefully it will go down well.

[/quote]

Not very likely[/quote]

It did! Not a problem at all. Possibly a positive result, if anything.[/quote]

Sorry, we misunderstand each other. I’m saying the whole relationship won’t go down well for him.[/quote]

Actually, I’m beginning to think possibly otherwise. It’s still very early and there’s no way to know, but - he certainly has my attention.

AC, you said don’t spend too much time together, but what about emailing and texting? Is that meant to be limited, too?[/quote]

Ha ha ha.

I’m obviously not AC, but, yes, of course, Em!

You really do lose your otherwise excellent thinking skills at times like this, don’t you? :slight_smile:

<Now waiting for AC to come along and tell me I’m completely wrong and should leave the date counseling to him!>[/quote]

I’m hoping he does tell you that, because otherwise I’ve already blown it. :frowning:
[/quote]

Yup, you’ve blown it! LOL Chushin is correct, how can you give him the gift of missing you when you call/text/email all the time?

Silly girl! LOL The goal is to PROLONG the “courtship” so that you can have some freedom to spread your wings a little, correct? If that’s not the case and the “new” goal is to jump to the nearest available suitor and snap right back into your relationship comfort zone, then by all means, text/call/email away! Cuz that’s exactly what will happen.

I’m betting it’s happening already. You’ve passed the point of “no return”, haven’t you? We are, at this point, prolonging the inevitable, aren’t we? [/quote]

I had passed it, it would seem, and yes, yes, we were. :-/

But he’s so smart - way, way brighter than I am, and it’s exciting. I did kiss a geologist, who’s very nice and has an outstanding body. But I dunno. It’s hard for me to focus on more than one thing at a time.

Plus this guy is like a Nephorm in the appropriate age range. What smart girl wouldn’t jump?[/quote]

That’s pretty much what I figured. What smart girl wouldn’t jump, indeed. LOL Your scarcity mentality will be your undoing. There are PLENTY of fish in the sea, Em. But if his hooks are in you already (i.e. he’s flipped the necessary switches in your pretty little brain) then a relationship with him is a foregone conclusion at this point. Enjoy the ride, and we’ll all be here when the carousel stops again.

Be careful with this one, Em.
[/quote]

I guess there is always the hope that the carousel slows, but never stops…

Good luck to you, Em.

I’ll miss the “new, lesbian & free” you whose been around lately.[/quote]

We’ll see. I’m not going anywhere quickly. Here, I’ll put my leg back up, or something, how’s that?[/quote]

I guess that’ll have to hold us for a while.

OK - post that awe-inspiring appendage, my dear![/quote]
Do you have an aia, Chushin?

365

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

Do you have an aia, Chushin?[/quote]

A wut?[/quote]

I was afraid someone might get one, too, so i posted something less scintillating than the leg. God knows we all need to calm down in here.

366

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

Do you have an aia, Chushin?[/quote]

A wut?[/quote]
Awe-inspiring appendage.

367

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

Do you have an aia, Chushin?[/quote]

A wut?[/quote]

I was afraid someone might get one, too, so i posted something less scintillating than the leg. God knows we all need to calm down in here.[/quote]
Just a little satire. I see you got a prosthetic.

368

Yes. Just last week. It’s hard to keep it turned forward, as you can see in the pic, but I’m slowly learning how to use it.

369

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Yes. Just last week. It’s hard to keep it turned forward, as you can see in the pic, but I’m slowly learning how to use it.[/quote]
A strong armpit will keep it aligned.

370

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

Do you have an aia, Chushin?[/quote]

A wut?[/quote]

I was afraid someone might get one, too, so i posted something less scintillating than the leg. God knows we all need to calm down in here.[/quote]

How about a nice cup of tea?

A soy latte perhaps?

372

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Varqanir wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I’m still trying to figure out how - it’s confusing. [/quote]

send me an email on gmail, same name. or just create a profile and add me to your circles, we will find you.

[/quote]

The only Testy1 I got was something like “Testy1 !!!” and there were no circles listed.

But I may need until tomorrow night to mess with it more, heading out to work and then having friends over tonight. [/quote]

Another lesbian party?
[/quote]

No, not this time. We didn’t process our feelings, and while I had white wine, not everyone did. Also ate hearty food rather than local artisan cheese. And lastly, men involved. Although I guess I’m discovering here at T Nation that a surprising number of men are lesbians. Still, these didn’t seem to be.[/quote]

Well, did they have short hair and were interested in women sexually?

[/quote]

Only the men. As far as I could tell. [/quote]

You may need to recalibrate your gaydar then. Scratch the surface of almost any heterosexual woman and you will find a closeted bi-curious woman just itching to get out.
[/quote]

I don’t know. I honestly don’t believe I have any sexual interest in women. Just - none. I find many women appealing or beautiful or whatever, but just can’t imagine putting my mouth on any part of them.

On the other hand, I’m not particularly outgoing sexually (not an initiator until it I become comfortable enough to let go of inhibitions) so maybe it’s a matter of no one ever bothering to make a move. Maybe I’d go crazy with wanting.[/quote]

Oh Em. You just haven’t tried it yet.

373

I read the summary of a study once that said that men with higher than average test levels tended to be either really gay or really straight, that is, the researchers felt that test had a sexually polarizing effect in men. However, higher than average test levels in women tended to push them towards the middle of the Kinsey scale. In other words, they found members of either sex to be sexually attractive.

I have no idea what the test levels of my girlfriends have been, but the majority have had no interest in girls at all. Not revulsion, just total disinterest.

374

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
I read the summary of a study once that said that men with higher than average test levels tended to be either really gay or really straight, that is, the researchers felt that test had a sexually polarizing effect in men. However, higher than average test levels in women tended to push them towards the middle of the Kinsey scale. In other words, they found members of either sex to be sexually attractive.

I have no idea what the test levels of my girlfriends have been, but the majority have had no interest in girls at all. Not revulsion, just total disinterest. [/quote]

That makes sense to me, and supports (regarding women, at any rate) what I feel I’ve observed insofar as innate sexuality goes. I’ve never had my testosterone levels tested, but I’m going to go out on a limb and guess they’re low. I’m pretty feminine in all regards.

Orion, soy latte - NO. Yuck. (These, like most varieties of beans, are on my list of things I’ve never tried but feel fully justified in not liking.)

We could all have some tea, though. Maybe a nice jasmine green?

375

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
I read the summary of a study once that said that men with higher than average test levels tended to be either really gay or really straight, that is, the researchers felt that test had a sexually polarizing effect in men. However, higher than average test levels in women tended to push them towards the middle of the Kinsey scale. In other words, they found members of either sex to be sexually attractive.

I have no idea what the test levels of my girlfriends have been, but the majority have had no interest in girls at all. Not revulsion, just total disinterest. [/quote]
Makes sense.

376

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
I read the summary of a study once that said that men with higher than average test levels tended to be either really gay or really straight, that is, the researchers felt that test had a sexually polarizing effect in men. However, higher than average test levels in women tended to push them towards the middle of the Kinsey scale. In other words, they found members of either sex to be sexually attractive.

I have no idea what the test levels of my girlfriends have been, but the majority have had no interest in girls at all. Not revulsion, just total disinterest. [/quote]
Makes sense.[/quote]

I’m still pondering the polarized men.

I just wanted to be sure to update you all, as I knew you must be wondering whether I am or not.

377

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
I read the summary of a study once that said that men with higher than average test levels tended to be either really gay or really straight, that is, the researchers felt that test had a sexually polarizing effect in men. However, higher than average test levels in women tended to push them towards the middle of the Kinsey scale. In other words, they found members of either sex to be sexually attractive.

I have no idea what the test levels of my girlfriends have been, but the majority have had no interest in girls at all. Not revulsion, just total disinterest. [/quote]
Makes sense.[/quote]

I’m still pondering the polarized men.

I just wanted to be sure to update you all, as I knew you must be wondering whether I am or not.[/quote]
Could be flawed. Likely is.

379

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
I read the summary of a study once that said that men with higher than average test levels tended to be either really gay or really straight, that is, the researchers felt that test had a sexually polarizing effect in men. However, higher than average test levels in women tended to push them towards the middle of the Kinsey scale. In other words, they found members of either sex to be sexually attractive.

I have no idea what the test levels of my girlfriends have been, but the majority have had no interest in girls at all. Not revulsion, just total disinterest. [/quote]
Makes sense.[/quote]

I’m still pondering the polarized men.

I just wanted to be sure to update you all, as I knew you must be wondering whether I am or not.[/quote]

No narcissism here!

:wink:
[/quote]

Later I’m going to have histrionics over the whole thing.

380

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
I read the summary of a study once that said that men with higher than average test levels tended to be either really gay or really straight, that is, the researchers felt that test had a sexually polarizing effect in men. However, higher than average test levels in women tended to push them towards the middle of the Kinsey scale. In other words, they found members of either sex to be sexually attractive.

I have no idea what the test levels of my girlfriends have been, but the majority have had no interest in girls at all. Not revulsion, just total disinterest. [/quote]
Makes sense.[/quote]

I’m still pondering the polarized men.

I just wanted to be sure to update you all, as I knew you must be wondering whether I am or not.[/quote]

No narcissism here!

:wink:
[/quote]

Later I’m going to have histrionics over the whole thing.[/quote]

Come on, you two. That kind of talk belongs over on the Borderline Personality Disorder thread.