Right, here goes.
Conveniently the day before comp was a Bank Holiday for me, so I was able to leave in the morning. Arrived in Bolton just after lunchtime, which is unfortunate because Bolton is possibly the biggest shithole Iāve ever seen in my life. Itās actually kind of sad. The town centre has been destroyed by having all the retail and entertainment move to big outlets in the suburban areas but you can tell that even 20-25 years ago it would have been bustling.
Contributed to the decline of town centres myself by going to one of those outlet areas to get some food and watch Spider-Man. Loaded up on carbs and sodium by way of a large popcorn. Got a pretty decent night of sleep.
Meet Report
Got a Subway for breakfast and brought some glucose tablets, a few bottles of Lucozade, some Haribo thingies and whatnot. Bit nervy at this stage but we went down a few hours early to watch the Mens Open and nerves were all good by the time I was stepping up.
Around 35-40 people had signed up for the super-newbie category, but only 19 turned up on the day. My ambitious goal of making the top 20 was locked up.
Other goals were to PR everything I could, not injure myself, not come dead last and not shit myself. Managed to hit them all.
Event 1: Press Medley
Running order was randomised here and I wound up going fifth, which got it out of the way. Almost every event was either marginally or significantly different than described, because Strongman, and in this case the opening lift was 80kg (180lbs) instead of 75kg (170lbs). Either way the most Iād clean and pressed was 70kg (165lbs) so it wasnāt a major issue; Iād still need to hit a PR. Warmed up with some bands, a few empty axle presses and a couple of 60kg (135lb) cleans.
First clean and press went nicely, so I got a 10kg (25lb) PR sorted out straight away. Next one (same weight) I wound up belt cleaning - it hadnāt occurred to me you could do that with a barbell, but you could and I did. Press was harder but I got it.
Then the axle - 90kg (200lb) for a 15kg (35lb) increase on the most Iād continental clean and pressed. Shockingly I got it up to the front rack position fairly easily, all things considered. However, I couldnāt get it beyond forehead level after four press attempts. Still a good continental clean PR; just would have been nice to add the āand pressā part.
I had decent time left but waved it off, since the deadlift for reps was 97% of the most Iād ever pulled and I wanted to save some energy for that - I figured Iād be out quite early for it. However, the axle tripped up enough people that I wound up placing 12-13 in this (based on running order of Event 2) which I presume was because I was one of the only people running between implements and got to the axle fastest. Or itās just random again. Havenāt seen the scores yet.
No video of this one, but I do have a picture of me with the axle in the front rack so I have proof of the big PR:
Event 2: Deadlift
Turned out that this was from a couple of mats (one with a nice divot, so not ideal), so more like a 13" deadlift. Had no idea if that would make it go well or poorly for me, but anything more than one rep at 180kg (405lbs) was going to be a PR.
Got to warm up with a few 100kg (220lb) reps before they had to take the plates, then picked up the farmerās handles for a few deadlifts before going up.
This was done head-to-head and was the event on which I was the most tactical, rushing to my position when my name was called so I got the barbell that wasnāt in the sunlight - it was a pretty hot day, at least by northern England standards.
Iām a while from catching Pwnisherās 23 reps but I got six which I was very happy with. First three were pretty smooth; you could just call them a straight triple. Next was a bit hitched, fifth was very hitched, sixth was hitched after a short rest and time-check. The last rep felt like it took about four times longer than it actually did on the video.
Video here - forgive the loud mother:
Event 3: Loading Race
Event change here: this was loading the bags into the back of a van, closing the van doors, then pushing the van back. A lad in the Mens Opens tore his bicep clean off closing the door a few hours earlier which was a shame.
I ballsed this one up pretty badly, but it was my own fault. While I hadnāt trained with sandbags I had suspected this wouldnāt matter because the bags on the day looked super-dense, and I was right - they were like bricks. As it was, the āsandbagginessā of them didnāt throw me off at all.
However, I hadnāt realised what a repfest the deadlift had become and that my six reps had only beaten a handful of people. Iād chalked up my t-shirt and arms but was on the way to re-chalk my hands after a piss when I heard my name being called and had to rush over.
First bag was 60kg (135lbs) which was a pretty easy pick and run. Second was 70kg (160lbs) for the same. Third was only 5kg (10lbs) more, but significantly bigger and I just couldnāt get a grip on it. Eventually got it lapped and hugged it to the van, but I wasted tons and tons of time on it. Pushed the van back easily enough, keeping biceps intact, but my time was something mad like 73s. Had I been chalked up and able to get the last bag in even āonlyā 10 seconds I would have been right up there in the times, but as it was I was something like 15/19 in this event.
Not even annoyed that mum fucked up the recording and only got 8 seconds of me walking back, because I wasnāt especially happy with it. Still, got it done and beat a few other people.
Event 4: Farmerās Walk
Havenāt exactly been quiet about my worries for this event. I had done 80% contest weight for the 40m (120ft) competition distance but just picking up the 100kg (220lb) in training almost killed me. However it did mean that anything over five steps was a PR.
Slammed down 400mg of caffeine with a Monster Mango Loco about 10m beforehand and because Iāve cut down on coffee recently I felt like Iād done a fat line of coke. Donāt know if it was that, the different implements or just the on-the-day adrenaline but I sort of smashed it:
Not exactly fast, but sub-30s without even the hint of a drop or even a slip of grip. Astonished tbh. Based on the running order for Event 5 I was pretty much smack in the middle of the pack on this one. I was also the first athlete to do it with no drops.
Event 5: Tru-Van Pull
Originally we were meant to be pulling a 4T Land Rover-esque thing, but it is an active search and rescue vehicle and there was an emergency and it had to go, so we wound up pulling the van from earlier loaded up with the sandbags.
Iād had some slight practice with arm-over-arm but not a ton. Guess it showed; I couldnāt get the slack out of the rope and wasted a lot of energy. A few people said they thought your man getting the rope out of the way wasnāt fast/helpful enough but I wonāt blame anyone but myself for taking 27s here. I rushed my setup and could have got a lot tighter before going but I think the caffeine buzz and just wanting to get it over with didnāt help!
Overall
Havenāt had scores published yet so I canāt confirm but Iām pretty sure I got something like 28 points which isnāt great, but I came 16/19 to fulfill my goal of not coming dead last.
From what I remember I was a solid 11-12 points ahead of 17th place and not too far behind 15th, so I think that had I managed to load the last bag in decent time I would have been able to go up a good few spots - but shouldawouldacoulda.
No idea when my next one will be because I need to sort out moving back to Dublin, but definitely going to compete again at some stage - ideally this time with the aim of doing well rather than simply not doing badly.
Was a really awesome day with a good crowd and supportive crew/athletes and everything you kind of expect from reading these sorts of reports.
I engaged in a solid 24 hours of sheer gluttony afterwards, eating a 20oz T-bone with sweet potato fries, mac & cheese, onion loaf and Stilton salad that evening. Breakfast was Eggs Benedict and a pile of Yank-style pancakes with berries, then I destroyed a large meatfeast pizza and a dozen dough balls on arrival home.
Whatās next
Now itās time to get a little less fat.
Will likely hit a light recovery session or two this week. Next week Iāll go back to a basic 5/3/1-style setup for July/August. I donāt know exactly where Iāll be living or what my schedule will be like so I need something quick and easy I can do in basically any gym so long as it has a rack, bench and bar.
Probably going to take the opportunity to do a pretty big deficit and try and shed some initial blubber fast before taking it easier on the fat loss front once Iām settled.
Iām looking at Mike Westerlingās 12-Week Off-Season program for a lower-volume, recovery-focused approach while I try to get a bit closer to something that could be described as almost lean - but that depends on implement availability whereever I end up living.
Definitely continuing on the strongman path, though.
