This is where I am at. I’m so fucked up that if I tried to be in a relationship I would just fuck it up, so why bother.
Once I get my shit together, pretty sure I won’t give a fuck.
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Hey Em,
No offense but just like you discussing my wife is off the table.
None of this has to do with her. It wouldn’t matter who it is, like I said, I could service a cheerleading squad. It has nothing to do with our bedroom.
She is not the problem, nor what we do. There is no pattern per se.
I know your professional instincts are kicking in but confine it to me only, please.
I would say that the second of the two possible things that work for you is probably the more compelling, though of course I couldn’t say for sure. Girls/women are taught to communicate, to tell me what you want, but I think a lot of men have difficulty hearing it or making changes. It threatens them, maybe. And then the women respond as you outlined in the second quoted paragraph, or simply tolerate bad sex and orgasm alone. Responsiveness and patience combined with commitment and love as @Jewbacca mentioned (the last two are important for me at least, and I think for a lot of women, or at least enough of both that exclusivity and trust have been established) set the stage. I don’t know how many anorgasmic women have reported a complete change when the right man came along. I suspect “the right man” has consistent qualities of warmth, patience, and generosity of spirit.
Ack, this makes me so sad! I want you to not give up. There ARE nice guys out there, and one of them would be lucky to have someone like you. For what it’s worth, I was the best lover I’d ever had for a long time. Hang in there, and when you notice someone is a dick, cut him loose immediately. Don’t rationalize his behavior, don’t protect him or decide you’re not perfect either. You deserve someone as decent and caring as you are. I can tell you the sex will be much better with that guy, when you find him, than it is alone.
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Thanks @EmilyQ 
Okay, sounds like it’s going as best it can, then. Good luck!
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I think I found the problem…
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No one likes a dick in their ass.
I am not disagreeing it’s a mental thing. It’s just nothing to do with my wife.
It’s not even a bad thing, just weird.
Thanks so much for weighing in. This kind of feels like therapy.
My personal experience is that I am very comfortable for women - many of my partners have told me that they had never experienced orgasm before me.
But, they also never spend much time with me, lol. I have often been left in a hotel with cab fare on the counter.
What’s up with that?
Some people do. I don’t get it, but they do. None of my business, but there’s a lot more of it going on then we tend to think.
Sounds like misery and a level of hell to me, but different strokes for different folks.
Sounds like an understatement.
Just have fun. You don’t need a man. You don’t need romance. There is so much more to life then that.
Get happy, be happy.
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I get that. My point is not that it’s her or her fault, but just that it’s probably creating tension for both of you. You get stressed, then she gets stressed because you’re stressed. Nothing to do with her attractiveness or the sex itself, just a worry loop going back and forth between you. Interestingly, in marriages without sex it is most often the man who shuts it down. The woman wants to please and the man feels he’s letting her down…everyone starts to get anxious. My point is that it’s not necessary. It’s a thing that can be dealt with. That’s all.
OMG, this made me laugh. Are you by any chance a prostitute? Or do you just hang out with really independent girls?
Umm…so there aren’t any women who enjoy anal sex and actively pursue it from time to time?
I’m sure plenty of women enjoy the arousal it brings their partners.
You’re more likely to enjoy it than a woman given your anatomy… how do you like it?
On a separate note I hope for everyone’s sake that nobody has anal sex for an hour 
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This made me laugh as well.
No, not a prostitute, but I do have problems with boundaries, lol. And, very insightful, I do like independent women, I guess I should look for more needy girls in the future.
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Once upon a time I had sex with a girl from about 9pm to 4am. Does that count as marathon? She’s the only girl I ever met who I would call a nympho and she was actually a lot of stress to be with. I couldn’t enjoy a dinner out with her because I was constantly afraid we were going to get kicked out of the restaurant. Driving was dangerous. She was a girl who just wanted nonstop sex.
Another girl expressed to me she liked sex for at least 40 minutes “preferably an hour”. That’s about right for me. After all, just giving a girl oral should be at least 15 minutes. Ten minutes or less is cheap. It’s like you rushed it to get it over rather than taking your time enjoying yourself while bringing her up slowly.
On average my wife probably likes sex to be a little shorter than I do but she’s definitely down for the marathon session every now and then.
A thread like this is long overdue. It’s about time we have a modest discussion, free of braggadocio, about the many problems spawned when you’re able to lift a woman to sexual heights where only eagles have dared.
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Nothing wrong with it if you are both into it.