Thanks, now im gonna go home and be mean to my girlfriend all night just from reading this.
I swear, in some of the situation you guys have described, i’d just kill the bitch and then go on the run as long as i could.
Rather live off the tax payers, knowing ive got a bed to sleep in and 3 square meals a day then have to live like an indentured servant to some bitch the rest of my life.
[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]csulli wrote:
I can’t imagine if there are kids involved that they would be okay with something like this unless they literally hated their father. I wouldn’t be able to put up with my mother living the dream whilst bankrupting my dad.[/quote]
When children become teens they want only for themselves, if mom is going to give them everything they will go with mom. Or vice versa
Csulli you may be the anomaly but most teens are self centered, egotistical little black holes of financial and emotional suckatud [/quote]
AND easily manipulated. You wouldn’t believe how much of an effect a mother breaking down, crying on the kitchen floor will have on a teenage boy. Regardless of who’s right, at that age the instinct is still to fix the problem, however with lack of maturity, life experience, and intelligence. If Dad’s doing this to Mom because mom said he was, then Dad’s a piece of shit. NO ifs ands or buts.
[/quote]
Yep my son now is 22 and daughter is 20 and they both got this from my X.
Weirdly my wife now her X pulled the crying thing with her teenage kids also.
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]csulli wrote:
I can’t imagine if there are kids involved that they would be okay with something like this unless they literally hated their father. I wouldn’t be able to put up with my mother living the dream whilst bankrupting my dad.[/quote]
When children become teens they want only for themselves, if mom is going to give them everything they will go with mom. Or vice versa
Csulli you may be the anomaly but most teens are self centered, egotistical little black holes of financial and emotional suckatud [/quote]
AND easily manipulated. You wouldn’t believe how much of an effect a mother breaking down, crying on the kitchen floor will have on a teenage boy. Regardless of who’s right, at that age the instinct is still to fix the problem, however with lack of maturity, life experience, and intelligence. If Dad’s doing this to Mom because mom said he was, then Dad’s a piece of shit. NO ifs ands or buts.
[/quote]
Yep my son now is 22 and daughter is 20 and they both got this from my X.
Weirdly my wife now her X pulled the crying thing with her teenage kids also. [/quote]
Lol you think that’s bad I have the mother off all manipulation stories regarding dead beat dad. Ill post later I have meetings for the rest of the day.
[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]csulli wrote:
I can’t imagine if there are kids involved that they would be okay with something like this unless they literally hated their father. I wouldn’t be able to put up with my mother living the dream whilst bankrupting my dad.[/quote]
When children become teens they want only for themselves, if mom is going to give them everything they will go with mom. Or vice versa
Csulli you may be the anomaly but most teens are self centered, egotistical little black holes of financial and emotional suckatud [/quote]
AND easily manipulated. You wouldn’t believe how much of an effect a mother breaking down, crying on the kitchen floor will have on a teenage boy. Regardless of who’s right, at that age the instinct is still to fix the problem, however with lack of maturity, life experience, and intelligence. If Dad’s doing this to Mom because mom said he was, then Dad’s a piece of shit. NO ifs ands or buts.
[/quote]
Yep my son now is 22 and daughter is 20 and they both got this from my X.
Weirdly my wife now her X pulled the crying thing with her teenage kids also. [/quote]
Lol you think that’s bad I have the mother off all manipulation stories regarding dead beat dad. Ill post later I have meetings for the rest of the day.
[/quote]
Shit my wife her X owes us over 110 K in back child support. He has not worked in over 6 years and the IRS even took money from me to pay his back income tax.
The problem with the divorce paradigm is that two conflicting assumptions are made at different times. When assets are being split, they are split evenly. The assumption is made that even if most or all of the income was provided by a single spouse, the other spouse contributed in significant ways. One spouse goes to work while the other takes care of the house and kids, supports the spouse emotionally, spend time pregnant with children, etc. In this situation, the assumption is made to consider all contributions to the marriage, not just financial contributions.
However, while considering the question of alimony, only financial contributions are considered. The working spouse is still required to pay money to support the non-working spouse as he/she was during the marriage. However, the non-working spouse no longer provides any of the contributions that he or she made during the marriage.
[quote]Silyak wrote:
The problem with the divorce paradigm is that two conflicting assumptions are made at different times. When assets are being split, they are split evenly. The assumption is made that even if most or all of the income was provided by a single spouse, the other spouse contributed in significant ways. One spouse goes to work while the other takes care of the house and kids, supports the spouse emotionally, spend time pregnant with children, etc. In this situation, the assumption is made to consider all contributions to the marriage, not just financial contributions.
However, while considering the question of alimony, only financial contributions are considered. The working spouse is still required to pay money to support the non-working spouse as he/she was during the marriage. However, the non-working spouse no longer provides any of the contributions that he or she made during the marriage. [/quote]
but the non-working spouse now has been out of the job market for a number of years. Their skills are dated, their network is nonexistent, and their contemporaries have far surpassed them in career achievement. Spousal support (no one really calls it alimony any longer) is meant to reflect that reality.
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Test Icicle wrote:
That story is brutal, but I can’t help but think the guy brought it upon himself, probably by burying his head in the sand and wishing everything just went away.
When I got divorced, I was paying my ex-wife $24K a month in child support and spousal support. Even in my area, which is notoriously pro-woman, as soon as my income went down my lawyer went back to court and support payments were moved down as well.
Child support is ALWAYS negotiable. Spousal support is nearly ALWAYS negotiable. The days of endless spousal support are nearly gone. I was married more than a decade, and paid for 2 years of spousal support. But, you have to communicate immediately to your lawyer that your circumstances have changed, and your own life-style has to change as well. You can’t go in front of a judge asking for reduced child support payments having just gotten back from a ski trip in Gstaad.
Edit: my views are consistent with the laws in my state. Other states may vary.[/quote]
^ This
and lol on the edit, sounded like a commercial in my head[/quote]
Do states really vary that much? Neither my ex nor myself had money to blow on an attorney so I did all of our child support/custody and divorce stuff myself.
We never once saw a judge. I wrote up our custody agreement and we went over it with a court mediator to make any adjustments before filing it. As far as child support, we met a mediator with both of our income information. The state mandates $660 per month from the non-custodial parent to cover general expenses. Also, since she is on my health insurance, he pays half the insurance and half the cost of child care. Every 3 years we go in to speak with a mediator and adjust the payments as necessary. Or we can go in any time there is a change in employment. If we are unable to reach an agreement with a mediator, we have the choice to sit in front of a judge, but that has never come up.
Like I said, I don’t know how other states do things, but nothing is written in stone in PA. Now, I don’t know whether I would have been aware of all of this if I had decided to simply hire an attorney and was reliant upon what he told me. I will say that the courts are set up to keep lawyers in business, so finding this information requires a bit of searching.
From a personal perspective, child support is NOT about living on easy street. I have several times offered to decrease what my ex pays in child support if he would spend more time with our daughter. As long as I have her 90% of the time, I cannot get another job to give me some financial breathing room. I’m working towards changing careers, but when she was really young, I was chained to my current job because of the hours and the ability to call out or bring her in whenever she was sick.
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]IamMarqaos wrote:
You are quite right Derek, quite right.
[/quote]
My friend I could write a book on this topic. I have lived the last 19 years dealing with it. [/quote]
Yeah, I have read a lot of your posts and you have shared some great insights. Hell, maybe you should write that book 
At least I didn’t get stuck with alimony.
I do pay a lot in child support…
Sigh.
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Shit my wife her X owes us over 110 K in back child support. He has not worked in over 6 years and the IRS even took money from me to pay his back income tax. [/quote]
Wut!?!
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Shit my wife her X owes us over 110 K in back child support. He has not worked in over 6 years and the IRS even took money from me to pay his back income tax. [/quote]
Wut!?![/quote]
How did the IRS take money from you? Not unless your wife owed a part and you chose to pay it for her.
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
? dude you get a lawyer BEFORE you get a divorce decree.
[/quote]
Easier said than done in some cases.
[/quote]
True.
I forget the comedian, but one said something along the lines of, “if I have to give half of my pay for her to maintain her standard of living, is she going to come over a few times a week so I can get the pussy I’m accustomed to getting?” True statement. Alimony is a joke. Child support is way past what is needed.
Co-worker of mine has been an engineer for almost 15 years now. He got divorced and had to pick up a part-time job delivering pizzas to pay for the child support and alimony. So he works 50 hours a week as an engineer and however many hours delivering pizzas in his early 40’s. Seriously? Fuck that. What is she doing?
I worked for everything I have. A woman has her own education and can find a job. I’ll be damned if I’m going to hand over more funds so she can be lazy or go be a skank and get paid by me for it. If there is infidelity on the man’s part they deserve some punishment for breaking that agreement, but if she breaks it, she should get nothing except a boot to the ass. Kids shouldn’t need support if living with her, funds should be able to be put towards their time with you (when you have custody). If she can’t afford them, then the guy gets the kids. Maybe that would deter so many of these “easy” divorces.
[quote]Quasi-Tech wrote:
I forget the comedian, but one said something along the lines of, “if I have to give half of my pay for her to maintain her standard of living, is she going to come over a few times a week so I can get the pussy I’m accustomed to getting?” True statement. Alimony is a joke. Child support is way past what is needed.
[/quote]
That is becaaaaaauuuuuusssse, states get matching funds by the federal government funds for what they extort in child support.
Which creates the following incentive structure for the state:
Moooaaaaar, sole custody → moar child support.
Moooaaaaar custody for mothers, 90% btw, because she usually earns less.
MOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAR child support, because matching funds.
Thats how you maximize that income stream.
[quote]Quasi-Tech wrote:
I forget the comedian, but one said something along the lines of, “if I have to give half of my pay for her to maintain her standard of living, is she going to come over a few times a week so I can get the pussy I’m accustomed to getting?” True statement. Alimony is a joke. Child support is way past what is needed.
Co-worker of mine has been an engineer for almost 15 years now. He got divorced and had to pick up a part-time job delivering pizzas to pay for the child support and alimony. So he works 50 hours a week as an engineer and however many hours delivering pizzas in his early 40’s. Seriously? Fuck that. What is she doing?
I worked for everything I have. A woman has her own education and can find a job. I’ll be damned if I’m going to hand over more funds so she can be lazy or go be a skank and get paid by me for it. If there is infidelity on the man’s part they deserve some punishment for breaking that agreement, but if she breaks it, she should get nothing except a boot to the ass. Kids shouldn’t need support if living with her, funds should be able to be put towards their time with you (when you have custody). If she can’t afford them, then the guy gets the kids. Maybe that would deter so many of these “easy” divorces.[/quote]
This is why you marry the best woman you can find and not just the best-looking woman you can get your dick inside.
I think there is some serious difficulty with that idea SN, albeit the best solution to the potential problem. Many folks say how can you truly know someone without living with them? How can you know in what ways a person will change/develop as they age (mentally and socially, not physically)?
I 110% agree with your statement, but the practice is far more difficult than the theory. A good woman, like a good man, is hard to find. For those few fortunate that happen to be a good man with a good woman, they’ll have a very successful, happy marriage (and may it be healthy). For many, you may get half of the equation and the other half lacking.