[quote]Tex32 wrote:
Gentlemen I give you The Monster. Measuring an easy 2 feet end to end, averaging as thick as your wrist for the majority of its length. It did not spring from my ass thankfully[/quote]
Holy shit (literally!) I thought that was a black mambo double dong thrown in as a joke…
ed- did you have to gyrate to get it to curl like that without breaking? Man, I need to work on technique cause mine never pop out like that. =/
[quote]Stern wrote:
[quote]Tex32 wrote:
Gentlemen I give you The Monster. Measuring an easy 2 feet end to end, averaging as thick as your wrist for the majority of its length. It did not spring from my ass thankfully[/quote]
Holy shit (literally!) I thought that was a black mambo double dong thrown in as a joke…
ed- did you have to gyrate to get it to curl like that without breaking? Man, I need to work on technique cause mine never pop out like that. =/
[/quote]
lean forward more when you poop, and then swirl your butt around right towards the last quarter of the poop.
[quote]byukid wrote:
[quote]Stern wrote:
[quote]Tex32 wrote:
Gentlemen I give you The Monster. Measuring an easy 2 feet end to end, averaging as thick as your wrist for the majority of its length. It did not spring from my ass thankfully[/quote]
Holy shit (literally!) I thought that was a black mambo double dong thrown in as a joke…
ed- did you have to gyrate to get it to curl like that without breaking? Man, I need to work on technique cause mine never pop out like that. =/
[/quote]
lean forward more when you poop, and then swirl your butt around right towards the last quarter of the poop.[/quote]
How do you know when it’s the last quarter? I can never tell. Sometimes I think I’m going in to drop Collosus and then look down after the ‘plip’ and it’s like rabbit food! ><
Practice I guess?
i just went to the loo and I watched my stomach/gut physically deflate as last night’s Mexican food said hola. I love the feeling of standing up and feeling lighter.
Pimp Bot, I salute you.
[quote]Stern wrote:
[quote]byukid wrote:
[quote]Stern wrote:
[quote]Tex32 wrote:
Gentlemen I give you The Monster. Measuring an easy 2 feet end to end, averaging as thick as your wrist for the majority of its length. It did not spring from my ass thankfully[/quote]
Holy shit (literally!) I thought that was a black mambo double dong thrown in as a joke…
ed- did you have to gyrate to get it to curl like that without breaking? Man, I need to work on technique cause mine never pop out like that. =/
[/quote]
lean forward more when you poop, and then swirl your butt around right towards the last quarter of the poop.[/quote]
How do you know when it’s the last quarter? I can never tell. Sometimes I think I’m going in to drop Collosus and then look down after the ‘plip’ and it’s like rabbit food! ><
Practice I guess?[/quote]
auto-regulation
[quote]Ronsauce wrote:
That’s got some length, but not much girth.
The best shits are the ones that only require one wipe, and THAT wipe is merely to confirm that you didn’t need to wipe in the first place.
[/quote]
Those, my friend, are known as magic poos.
I was taking a shit once in a public toilet and was enjoying all the graffiti written on the stall walls. One had a little poem written about sheakspeare taking a shit:
“one would think with all his wit that shakespeare came here to shit”
“still in all it might be true, for shakespeare had an asshole too”
“we have erected to his wit a monument of pure shit!”
On the other side of the stall wall some dude had drawn a series of little arrows. Naturally my eye started following these arrows untill my distorted torso came to a message reading: “You are now shitting at an angle of 36 degrees”.
Not very ladylike to admit it but I’ve blocked my toilet on more than a few occassions.
Most colossal, though, was on a trip to South Korea in 2009. I was suffering from that tiresome long haul travel constipation and about five days passed without so much as a wet fart.
Then I visited Woobang Tower Land and did the Sky Jump there. Scared the shit out of me, literally. As soon as I was safely on the ground I had to leg it to the nearest loo and basically let loose. It was like Godzilla. I could not flush it after several attempts so I just had to leave it for the poor attendants to deal with.
(For those interested, this is the Sky Jump, 405 feet high. I’m not jumping in this vid but I am in it there around 1:50 kneeling on the gangplank).
Best thread ive ever read.
Many people are very picky about where they can use the toilet, whether they only duece at home, work, or etc. When i was younger, about 11 yrs old, i only wanted to drop a duece at home and would hold it in until i got home. Well one day this is was case, but things had started to go very badly. It felt like my entire digestive tract was gonna explode. While painful i thought this was good timing since i had been walking into my apartment building. I had gotten into the elevator when i got the feeling that my shit was gonna come out on its own whether i liked it or not. Preparing to dash from the elevator to my apartment, i started to unbuckle my belt, got my keys rdy, and was rdy to sprint. I guess while doing this i may have slightly unclenched my sphincter because as soon as the elevator door opened and i began to run, a giant brown torpedo shot out through my boxers and shorts and onto the elevator floor. It all happened very fast so i just kept running to my door and went in. While rinsing myself off i couldnt help but feel grateful that there were no cameras in the elevator and no people to witness what i had done. However, i was shamed and disgusted with myself and felt real bad for the superintendent of the building.
That duece changed my life, from then on i never held in a dump again. As soon as nature calls i go running to the closest bathroom.
True story…
Go to the public bathroom to lay cable. On the stall door in front of me, there is a poster of a naked chick with some small writing scribbled on her inner thigh. I hunch forward to read it, it said…
“hey asshole lean back, you’re shitting on the floor.”