Keylogger Recommendations?

Off Topic
101

[quote]randomonymous wrote:

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]randomonymous wrote:

[quote]TheKraken wrote:

If that’s the case get a god damned lawyer. That leverage may not be worth anything if you got it illegally.

[/quote]

Am getting a lawyer here in the next few days. I found out that she has an appointment to see one here is a few weeks. Maybe I can beat her to the punch.[/quote]

I don’t know how big your city is, but it might be worth it to make appts to get consults at the 3 or 5 best divorce attornys in your area. Once you’ve spoken to them, they can’t represent your wife.
[/quote]
Yeah that’s good advice. A friend of mine mentioned that to me last night. I had assumed it was just one of those urban legends or something. Guess not. Although, I am wondering how she can even afford an attorney. [/quote]

You’ll be covering that after a pendente lite hearing.

102

I’m going to throw this out there, but only because it worked for me: I know right now you’re in spy v spy mode and it’s a good place to be when you need to get all your ducks in a row. But at some point, you and your wife/ex and going to have to sit down and - maybe for the first time - really communicate about how you’re going to co-parent your kids together. And trying to fuck her in the figurative sense doesn’t facilitate that.

After you have your ducks in a row, you might think about approaching her and say out loud what both of you know: “This isn’t working and we’re both looking for a way out”. At that point, the two of you need to sit down, look at your assets, and look at what your children need. Figure out what it’s going to cost to keep little Johnny in soccer and piano and little Janey in gymnastics and speech therapy. Whose insurance are the kids going to be on? How do large medical bills get taken care of? But keep the focus on the kids.

It’s actually good for you that your wife has found someone else. Not because you’re going to pull a Perry Mason on her and confront her with the evidence in court, but because she is most likely investing in this new relationship and that takes time; time that you get to spend with the kids. Ideally, the two of you would work out custody together, but if a judge does have to decide your wife will have a harder time saying that she should have sole custody if you’ve been with the kids 4 days a week and every other weekend. Besides, you kids need BOTH of you right now. They are the biggest losers in this and they don’t have the outlets adults do to process their pain (alcohol, drugs, meaningless sex).

So, by all means fuck your wife out of as much as possible, but know that she’s going to be your partner in raising your kids for a long, long time.

103

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
I’m going to throw this out there, but only because it worked for me: I know right now you’re in spy v spy mode and it’s a good place to be when you need to get all your ducks in a row. But at some point, you and your wife/ex and going to have to sit down and - maybe for the first time - really communicate about how you’re going to co-parent your kids together. And trying to fuck her in the figurative sense doesn’t facilitate that.

After you have your ducks in a row, you might think about approaching her and say out loud what both of you know: “This isn’t working and we’re both looking for a way out”. At that point, the two of you need to sit down, look at your assets, and look at what your children need. Figure out what it’s going to cost to keep little Johnny in soccer and piano and little Janey in gymnastics and speech therapy. Whose insurance are the kids going to be on? How do large medical bills get taken care of? But keep the focus on the kids.

It’s actually good for you that your wife has found someone else. Not because you’re going to pull a Perry Mason on her and confront her with the evidence in court, but because she is most likely investing in this new relationship and that takes time; time that you get to spend with the kids. Ideally, the two of you would work out custody together, but if a judge does have to decide your wife will have a harder time saying that she should have sole custody if you’ve been with the kids 4 days a week and every other weekend. Besides, you kids need BOTH of you right now. They are the biggest losers in this and they don’t have the outlets adults do to process their pain (alcohol, drugs, meaningless sex).

So, by all means fuck your wife out of as much as possible, but know that she’s going to be your partner in raising your kids for a long, long time.[/quote]

Excellent, well spoken post. Hard to keep these things in perspective sometimes.

104

One last thing: You’re divorce attorney is going to tell you how your wife is not going to get a fucking dime from you and her attorney is telling her how badly he’s going to fuck you. The only people who win in this situation are the lawyers. It’s absolutely amazing how quickly 2 lawyers can burn through a retainer at $400/hour.

Your wife is thinking she will have the same standard of living as she does now, except she’ll be fucking a different dude. She is in for a rude awakening most likely (I don’t know your financial situation), but it’s in your best interest to show her where the money goes and how much that leaves for the 2 of you at the end of the month. If the two of you can sit down at the kitchen table and start splitting stuff up, you’re going to save yourselves thousands of dollars. If you have to go to court to have a judge decide who gets the furniture, you may as well just burn it all right how and save yourself the time and expense.

105

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
One last thing: You’re divorce attorney is going to tell you how your wife is not going to get a fucking dime from you and her attorney is telling her how badly he’s going to fuck you. The only people who win in this situation are the lawyers. It’s absolutely amazing how quickly 2 lawyers can burn through a retainer at $400/hour.

Your wife is thinking she will have the same standard of living as she does now, except she’ll be fucking a different dude. She is in for a rude awakening most likely (I don’t know your financial situation), but it’s in your best interest to show her where the money goes and how much that leaves for the 2 of you at the end of the month. If the two of you can sit down at the kitchen table and start splitting stuff up, you’re going to save yourselves thousands of dollars. If you have to go to court to have a judge decide who gets the furniture, you may as well just burn it all right how and save yourself the time and expense.[/quote]

This is the truth. 2 attorneys at 400/hour being in and out of court senselessly fighting can hit 100,000 really really quick.

106

these are all good tips. the one thing that really resonates, and the ONLY thing i care about at this point… THE BEST INTEREST OF MY KIDS. I will NOT do anything to hurt or get revenge on my wife if there is even a 1% chance of putting my kids through any shit. she will want to come out swinging, I just have to be level headed about it. I need to move on from her emotionally as quickly as possible(its tough…there were good times sprinkled in with all the bullshit.)

I need to be level headed to just remember that I need to just move on, and let her live her life. When my emotions are under control, i can do that easily. she will create her own misery, and that is her prerogative to do so. she will not change. I just have to remember that i am not in this to “win” anymore. My kids need the best version of me possible. I do find it interesting, as someone mentioned above, that her obsession with this guy has her neglecting our kids emotionally, so moreso than ever, my girls want to do EVERYTHING with me. I love it, and it is good for me during this time that my kids draped over me is a good reminder i am not a piece of shit like some think I am

107

[quote]Bauber wrote:

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
One last thing: You’re divorce attorney is going to tell you how your wife is not going to get a fucking dime from you and her attorney is telling her how badly he’s going to fuck you. The only people who win in this situation are the lawyers. It’s absolutely amazing how quickly 2 lawyers can burn through a retainer at $400/hour.

Your wife is thinking she will have the same standard of living as she does now, except she’ll be fucking a different dude. She is in for a rude awakening most likely (I don’t know your financial situation), but it’s in your best interest to show her where the money goes and how much that leaves for the 2 of you at the end of the month. If the two of you can sit down at the kitchen table and start splitting stuff up, you’re going to save yourselves thousands of dollars. If you have to go to court to have a judge decide who gets the furniture, you may as well just burn it all right how and save yourself the time and expense.[/quote]

This is the truth. 2 attorneys at 400/hour being in and out of court senselessly fighting can hit 100,000 really really quick.[/quote]
This is true, I have some family friends that are lawyers(not family law though) and they gave me some general advice, and basically said the same thing.

108

[quote]randomonymous wrote:
I just have to remember that i am not in this to “win” anymore. My kids need the best version of me possible. [/quote]

This speaks very well of you as a father. Keep this in mind through the difficult times sure to come. As hard as it can be for men (and women) to swallow their pride in the face of inflammatory action that’s designed to provoke you into something she can use against you…you’ll have to do just that. Seek out any support that you can and derive optimism from those positive interactions with your daughters. Good luck.

109

[quote]randomonymous wrote:
these are all good tips. the one thing that really resonates, and the ONLY thing i care about at this point… THE BEST INTEREST OF MY KIDS. I will NOT do anything to hurt or get revenge on my wife if there is even a 1% chance of putting my kids through any shit. she will want to come out swinging, I just have to be level headed about it. I need to move on from her emotionally as quickly as possible(its tough…there were good times sprinkled in with all the bullshit.)

I need to be level headed to just remember that I need to just move on, and let her live her life. When my emotions are under control, i can do that easily. she will create her own misery, and that is her prerogative to do so. she will not change. I just have to remember that i am not in this to “win” anymore. My kids need the best version of me possible. I do find it interesting, as someone mentioned above, that her obsession with this guy has her neglecting our kids emotionally, so moreso than ever, my girls want to do EVERYTHING with me. I love it, and it is good for me during this time that my kids draped over me is a good reminder i am not a piece of shit like some think I am[/quote]

When shit gets tough - and it will - come back and read what you wrote to get yourself back in a better headspace. Everything you said here is %100 true.

I would even go one farther and say this: Your daughters’ ability to have a healthy romantic connection later in life is hugely dependent upon how you behave right now. You are their model for how a man behaves when things start feeling scary and unsafe for them. If they can’t trust their daddy to be there for them, they will have a hell of a time trusting any other man to do the same.

110

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]randomonymous wrote:
these are all good tips. the one thing that really resonates, and the ONLY thing i care about at this point… THE BEST INTEREST OF MY KIDS. I will NOT do anything to hurt or get revenge on my wife if there is even a 1% chance of putting my kids through any shit. she will want to come out swinging, I just have to be level headed about it. I need to move on from her emotionally as quickly as possible(its tough…there were good times sprinkled in with all the bullshit.)

I need to be level headed to just remember that I need to just move on, and let her live her life. When my emotions are under control, i can do that easily. she will create her own misery, and that is her prerogative to do so. she will not change. I just have to remember that i am not in this to “win” anymore. My kids need the best version of me possible. I do find it interesting, as someone mentioned above, that her obsession with this guy has her neglecting our kids emotionally, so moreso than ever, my girls want to do EVERYTHING with me. I love it, and it is good for me during this time that my kids draped over me is a good reminder i am not a piece of shit like some think I am[/quote]

When shit gets tough - and it will - come back and read what you wrote to get yourself back in a better headspace. Everything you said here is %100 true.

I would even go one farther and say this: Your daughters’ ability to have a healthy romantic connection later in life is hugely dependent upon how you behave right now. You are their model for how a man behaves when things start feeling scary and unsafe for them. If they can’t trust their daddy to be there for them, they will have a hell of a time trusting any other man to do the same.

[/quote]

Exceptional advice here.

And you are saying all the right things OP. Best of luck to you and your little ones.

111

[quote]Bauber wrote:

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]randomonymous wrote:
these are all good tips. the one thing that really resonates, and the ONLY thing i care about at this point… THE BEST INTEREST OF MY KIDS. I will NOT do anything to hurt or get revenge on my wife if there is even a 1% chance of putting my kids through any shit. she will want to come out swinging, I just have to be level headed about it. I need to move on from her emotionally as quickly as possible(its tough…there were good times sprinkled in with all the bullshit.)

I need to be level headed to just remember that I need to just move on, and let her live her life. When my emotions are under control, i can do that easily. she will create her own misery, and that is her prerogative to do so. she will not change. I just have to remember that i am not in this to “win” anymore. My kids need the best version of me possible. I do find it interesting, as someone mentioned above, that her obsession with this guy has her neglecting our kids emotionally, so moreso than ever, my girls want to do EVERYTHING with me. I love it, and it is good for me during this time that my kids draped over me is a good reminder i am not a piece of shit like some think I am[/quote]

When shit gets tough - and it will - come back and read what you wrote to get yourself back in a better headspace. Everything you said here is %100 true.

I would even go one farther and say this: Your daughters’ ability to have a healthy romantic connection later in life is hugely dependent upon how you behave right now. You are their model for how a man behaves when things start feeling scary and unsafe for them. If they can’t trust their daddy to be there for them, they will have a hell of a time trusting any other man to do the same.

[/quote]

Exceptional advice here.

And you are saying all the right things OP. Best of luck to you and your little ones.[/quote]
Hey thanks man. means more to me right now that you know.

112

maybe cuz i don’t want this to be a total downer thread,and we are after all on a lifting forum, I did hit a pr in all my main lifts this week. a cheating wife is better than any preworkout on the market.

113

[quote]Bauber wrote:
This is the truth. 2 attorneys at 400/hour being in and out of court senselessly fighting can hit 100,000 really really quick.[/quote]

Family lawyers tend to get the asset list and work backwards on the litigation plan. If, for example, the marital estate has access to $500,000 in assets that are liquid or can be made liquid, its pretty easy to come up with a litigation plan that supports $250,000 in fees to both lawfirms.

114

[quote]randomonymous wrote:
people that i knew and trusted are aware, and are ok with it.[/quote]

Sorry to hear this man, I think this is what would screw with my head the most. Best of luck with your kids, hope it all works out

115

[quote]jjackkrash wrote:

[quote]Bauber wrote:
This is the truth. 2 attorneys at 400/hour being in and out of court senselessly fighting can hit 100,000 really really quick.[/quote]

Family lawyers tend to get the asset list and work backwards on the litigation plan. If, for example, the marital estate has access to $500,000 in assets that are liquid or can be made liquid, its pretty easy to come up with a litigation plan that supports $250,000 in fees to both lawfirms. [/quote]
you know, thats very similar to what one of my lawyer buddies said…

116

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]randomonymous wrote:

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]randomonymous wrote:

[quote]TheKraken wrote:

If that’s the case get a god damned lawyer. That leverage may not be worth anything if you got it illegally.

[/quote]

Am getting a lawyer here in the next few days. I found out that she has an appointment to see one here is a few weeks. Maybe I can beat her to the punch.[/quote]

I don’t know how big your city is, but it might be worth it to make appts to get consults at the 3 or 5 best divorce attornys in your area. Once you’ve spoken to them, they can’t represent your wife.
[/quote]
Yeah that’s good advice. A friend of mine mentioned that to me last night. I had assumed it was just one of those urban legends or something. Guess not. Although, I am wondering how she can even afford an attorney. [/quote]

You’ll be covering that after a pendente lite hearing.
[/quote]

Yes, you will be paying for both sides most likely as it comes out of the marital estate. Dr. Pangloss has been spot on on pretty much everything he has said, although I would qualify that you don’t always want to DQ the “best” lawyer in a generic sense, but it might be a good idea to try and DQ aggressive lawyers who are going to run up the bill or they will bleed you dry. Having a good lawyer on the other side isn’t always a bad thing if they are both ethical and reasonable. Those lawyers do exist, but they are sometimes hard to come by in family law. Also, the DQ tactic probably isn’t necessary unless there is a substantial estate to split up. Big estates are what attracts the sharks.

The other caveat is sometimes you run into a “true believer” lawyer who just wants to grudge fuck the man at all costs, but you won’t get an opportunity to interview these for DQ purposes because they tend to only represent women.

117

[quote]KBCThird wrote:

[quote]randomonymous wrote:
people that i knew and trusted are aware, and are ok with it.[/quote]

Sorry to hear this man, I think this is what would screw with my head the most. Best of luck with your kids, hope it all works out
[/quote]
it does…but it also has brought to light who my true friends are, and those in my true inner circle are rounding the wagons around me. these are the kind of friends that would lay down their life for any of us, give REAL advice(not just a hang in there buddy, or lets have a beer and talk shit about her).the friendship with these guys is stronger than blood. I am lucky for that.

118

[quote]randomonymous wrote:

[quote]jjackkrash wrote:

[quote]Bauber wrote:
This is the truth. 2 attorneys at 400/hour being in and out of court senselessly fighting can hit 100,000 really really quick.[/quote]

Family lawyers tend to get the asset list and work backwards on the litigation plan. If, for example, the marital estate has access to $500,000 in assets that are liquid or can be made liquid, its pretty easy to come up with a litigation plan that supports $250,000 in fees to both lawfirms. [/quote]
you know, thats very similar to what one of my lawyer buddies said…[/quote]

Then you should listen to him (or her) because he (or she) knows what they are talking about.

119

[quote]jjackkrash wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]randomonymous wrote:

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]randomonymous wrote:

[quote]TheKraken wrote:

If that’s the case get a god damned lawyer. That leverage may not be worth anything if you got it illegally.

[/quote]

Am getting a lawyer here in the next few days. I found out that she has an appointment to see one here is a few weeks. Maybe I can beat her to the punch.[/quote]

I don’t know how big your city is, but it might be worth it to make appts to get consults at the 3 or 5 best divorce attornys in your area. Once you’ve spoken to them, they can’t represent your wife.
[/quote]
Yeah that’s good advice. A friend of mine mentioned that to me last night. I had assumed it was just one of those urban legends or something. Guess not. Although, I am wondering how she can even afford an attorney. [/quote]

You’ll be covering that after a pendente lite hearing.
[/quote]

Yes, you will be paying for both sides most likely as it comes out of the marital estate. Dr. Pangloss has been spot on on pretty much everything he has said, although I would qualify that you don’t always want to DQ the “best” lawyer in a generic sense, but it might be a good idea to try and DQ aggressive lawyers who are going to run up the bill or they will bleed you dry. Having a good lawyer on the other side isn’t always a bad thing if they are both ethical and reasonable. Those lawyers do exist, but they are sometimes hard to come by in family law. Also, the DQ tactic probably isn’t necessary unless there is a substantial estate to split up. Big estates are what attracts the sharks.

The other caveat is sometimes you run into a “true believer” lawyer who just wants to grudge fuck the man at all costs, but you won’t get an opportunity to interview these for DQ purposes because they tend to only represent women.

[/quote]
honestly…not very much estate to split up…just debt(for medical reasons, we are not spendthrifts…probably one of the reasons she wants out. any tips with that in mind?

120

[quote]randomonymous wrote:

[quote]jjackkrash wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]randomonymous wrote:

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]randomonymous wrote:

[quote]TheKraken wrote:

If that’s the case get a god damned lawyer. That leverage may not be worth anything if you got it illegally.

[/quote]

Am getting a lawyer here in the next few days. I found out that she has an appointment to see one here is a few weeks. Maybe I can beat her to the punch.[/quote]

I don’t know how big your city is, but it might be worth it to make appts to get consults at the 3 or 5 best divorce attornys in your area. Once you’ve spoken to them, they can’t represent your wife.
[/quote]
Yeah that’s good advice. A friend of mine mentioned that to me last night. I had assumed it was just one of those urban legends or something. Guess not. Although, I am wondering how she can even afford an attorney. [/quote]

You’ll be covering that after a pendente lite hearing.
[/quote]

Yes, you will be paying for both sides most likely as it comes out of the marital estate. Dr. Pangloss has been spot on on pretty much everything he has said, although I would qualify that you don’t always want to DQ the “best” lawyer in a generic sense, but it might be a good idea to try and DQ aggressive lawyers who are going to run up the bill or they will bleed you dry. Having a good lawyer on the other side isn’t always a bad thing if they are both ethical and reasonable. Those lawyers do exist, but they are sometimes hard to come by in family law. Also, the DQ tactic probably isn’t necessary unless there is a substantial estate to split up. Big estates are what attracts the sharks.

The other caveat is sometimes you run into a “true believer” lawyer who just wants to grudge fuck the man at all costs, but you won’t get an opportunity to interview these for DQ purposes because they tend to only represent women.

[/quote]
honestly…not very much estate to split up…just debt(for medical reasons, we are not spendthrifts…probably one of the reasons she wants out. any tips with that in mind?[/quote]

You might not want to hear this but if debt is the biggest issue you probably want to talk to a bankruptcy lawyer just to see what your options are.