Good bye cruel world. I can’t take it anymore. I plan to OD today…
on Turkey, mashed potatoes, rolls, wine and desert.
DO NOT TRY TO STOP ME OR I’LL TAKE YOU WITH ME.
I am going to eat until I pass out or explode, whichever comes first.
That is all.
Pussy, you won’t do it.
You ain’t got it in you, old man!!! Enjoy the day! Both of youse…
[quote]Brother Chris wrote:
Pussy, you won’t do it.[/quote]
Stay back. I’m serious. I’ll do it. Just you watch.
Maybe I’ll just eat until I pass out or until I go blind. I was out last night and I remembered how fucking good it is to be me so I think I’ll stay around. Hold down your groans of disappointment 
Trick is to keep a plate of food by wherever you pass out. That way when you wake up you can commence eating.
People say it’s a myth that turkey makes you sleepy because there’s not really enough L-Tryptophan in it to make you sleepy.
Sure there is! When eat as much of it as I do!!
I planned on turkey creamed onions and pumpkin pie. In solidarity with TBG I went ahead with mashed potatoes, stuffing and cranberry too.
Just so we all know who is to blame.
I ate so much, I got DOMS in my jaw.
I woke up on the floor with evidence of turkey, mashed potatoes and some chocolate cream pie smearing my mouth and cheeks. I had more food on my shirt. A half eaten roll lay next to me. And I think my baby nephew pissed on me while I was passed out. Or maybe I just pissed myself. I figure I passed out after my 5th helping.
I must have went down like a defenseless receiver after a helmet to helmet hit across the middle. I went to the bathroom and staring back at me thru the mirror was the image of a 2 year old that fed himself for the first time - there was food everywhere. So I did the only intelligent thing a man could do in that position: I went and made another plate of food and went back to sleep.
[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
And I think my baby nephew pissed on me while I was passed out. Or maybe I just pissed myself.
I went to the bathroom and staring back at me thru the mirror was the image of a 2 year old that fed himself for the first time - there was food everywhere.
[/quote]
LOL!
I remember many years ago I ate so much for Christmas dinner I could’nt even stand up straight!
I was bent over like some rickety 90-year old fart as I made my way to the couch for some well deserved tele. By the look of me you’d swear someone had kicked me in the balls. I had to lie on my back with my knees up until the food slowly and painfully distributed itself throughout the length of my intestines.
Drinking beer only exacerbates things and that is why I now get pissed before dinner!