What history did abortion have that supported the decision?
First off, I agree.
Secondly, I’ve known women who have become pregnant due to rape. Some of them aborted, some of them kept the kid. None of the ones who aborted it felt any better about their rape. Not having that baby didn’t do anything to ease their physical, mental, emotional, etc. trauma. The women who kept the babies are now pretty happy mothers. One of them became a grandmother last year. These women continued to struggle. Most of them are poor. It wasn’t like it was easy to have the kid and raise it. And these are just the women I know - I’m sure there’s tons of women who feel the complete opposite, and I understand that. It’s just something that always gets brought up, often by men, and I’m curious how most women actually feel twenty years later, those who chose the abortion and those who chose to keep it.
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The history of abortion being done regardless of legality and the danger to the life of mothers when it is done that way.
Ah. Not legal history, empathetic history…
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Being born on 1948, sex outside of marriage was not considered socially acceptable in the 1950’s and through much of the 1960’s.
I recall what most guys said about their girl friend in the mid 1960’s. They would have sex with high school “pump”, but they wanted to keep their girl friend pure until marriage. Sure sounds crazy, doesn’t it.
I’m sure there are many women who keep the kid and are happy with the decision and if that can happen then I think it’s the best case scenario. Some women may be in a committed relationship at the time and really not even know who the father is unless they get a paternity test. I’m not advocating for late term abortions being made available in these cases, but I think giving these women a little more time is reasonable. I don’t know that men bring this up any more often than women, but then again this is the first time I’ve entered into a discussion about abortion in recent memory. Women are more likely to think that abortion should be legal in all or most cases, so I’d bet that more women feel that abortion should be available to rape and incest victims than men.
These sorts of argument always seem reasonable, but whenever I really think about them I can’t come to terms with setting the rights and life of one human based on the convenience of another. I always come back to the moral idea that fetus rights need to be argued and set based on the child itself. We can talk about pain, viability, etc. of the child, but I can’t get past the life rights of the child being set by situation and convenience of another. We’d never allow it at any other time. Should we reduce penalties for murder of ones children if the parent can prove a (for instance) special needs child was a huge burden? Or if the child was the product of incestual rape, and reminds the mother daily of that causing her suicidal depression? In other cases, that just shows motive and premeditation.
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There are interesting things with parenting and happiness. Most parents that have young children report being less happy then their childless peers. After the children are grown they tend to think they were happier during that period than most parents with kids that age report.
Happy and fulfilled are two different things. I’d tend to agree that children don’t make you happier. They are probably more of a roller coaster with bigger highs and lower lows. What they do provide is meaning and purpose. Which you need, because raising kids is hard…
But if we are talking about the product of rape… I can’t imagine well enough to comment.
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Perhaps they had good instincts and were aware that the more sexual partners a woman has before marriage, the higher the risk of her dissatisfaction in the marriage and divorce.
My guess is that was the prevailing value of society in that part of the country at that time
Prior to the sexual revolution there was regulation of sex, partly by established norms and shaming. And we weren’t “like the Middle East” in doing so. Refer to my previous post in which I mention such regulation.
You were there so perhaps you know better than I do.
Abortion is just one linchpin in sexual Revolution.
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I think I’ve heard that childless couples in their 20s are happier than couples in their 20s who do have kids, but that starting in their 30s, the feelings reverse and grow stronger with each passing decade.
I’m 22 with a kid and am pretty sure I feel more “content” with life than most of my peers. I think that’s probably for a variety of reasons, but I think the kid is at least part of it.
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Ding, ding, ding. Thats the whole issue and everyone ignores it.
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There were laws on the books during the 1960’s and before in the much of the south against fornication (sex outside of marriage). I never heard of it being enforced.
When I went to school at NCSU there was a law in North Carolina that sex between married couples was to be done in the “missionary position”. I never heard of it being enforced either.
After 30 even my drive as a male to have kids skyrocketed. Best thing I have ever done. It is a lifelong commitment, but when you hold that baby for the first time… Knowing you are are now responsible for a life in every facet is sobering and awakens you in a way you won’t understand until it happens.
And I was the guy who vehemently thought all of that was bullshit until I experienced it.
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I never liked even being around kids until I had my own. And it’s even deeper than that. I had a girl first and became awed by little girls (not just mine) but still didn’t care to be around little boys. Then I had a little boy and now I just love kids. But even now I prefer the company of children largely only up to the ages I’ve had kids at. Not sure how weird that is, but I just don’t connect with kids until I’ve experienced parenting that version of a child.
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My first child was a little girl too and man am I whooped.
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Much wisdom and insight. Fact is there are deep reaching consequences for such a cavalier attitude towards sex. Way more so for women. But hey… You go gurrrrrrl
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Thank you!