[quote]StevenF wrote:
ignore her. You probably won’t, but you should. [/quote]
That’s what I’m doing.
You should snap chat her back with a buffalo bill impression. Wear a sexy feminine robe tuck your sack back and pose. Send it with the caption “Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me. I’d fuck me harrrrddddd.”
That would be funny.
[quote]James Brown wrote:
By all means, keep this thread going because some of the comments crack me up.
She “Snapchated” me earlier, so because I’m leaning towards not caring anymore, and the Snapchat app annoys the shit out of me, I’m tempted to wind her up, but can’t think of a good way to do so. Her friends like me, so I could use this to my advantage somehow.
However, for now, I’m just going to leave it. We’ll see each other next Sunday when we go karting (how we originally met), so I’m going to keep my distance (about 40 feet should do it) until then. I’ll decide whether to make a move depending on how she acts.[/quote]
Right, getting really pissed off now. I need to get this girl out of my head, and quickly, because it’s screwing with my mind.
I understand that she’s out of reach now, and I understand where I went wrong - initially, I wasn’t even trying to chat her up, and it was easy to tease and flirt. However, once I realised I was in with a chance, and wanted to keep things moving, I became Mr. Nice Guy, and thus, less interesting.
Besides just meeting other girls, what can I do to get over this one, and avoid an awkward interaction on Sunday (we go karting, and I don’t want it spoiled for either of us)?
What is this Snapchat thing?
[quote]James Brown wrote:
Besides just meeting other girls, what can I do to get over this one, and avoid an awkward interaction on Sunday (we go karting, and I don’t want it spoiled for either of us)?
[/quote]
Just keep things in perspective. You had one very casual date with her and that was it. No big deal.
Or you could hire a high class call girl. Have her show up at the Kart place in jeans and a T-shirt and have her hit on and flirt with you. Thats what I always do.
Know yourself. If you think you’ll cave in, don’t go. Keep some time and distance and forget her. Even if you hook up, chances are it won’t last lang, so save yourself the trouble.
Time wasted with her is wasting time you could spent with other girls
[quote]James Brown wrote:
Right, getting really pissed off now. I need to get this girl out of my head, and quickly, because it’s screwing with my mind.
I understand that she’s out of reach now, and I understand where I went wrong - initially, I wasn’t even trying to chat her up, and it was easy to tease and flirt. However, once I realised I was in with a chance, and wanted to keep things moving, I became Mr. Nice Guy, and thus, less interesting.
Besides just meeting other girls, what can I do to get over this one, and avoid an awkward interaction on Sunday (we go karting, and I don’t want it spoiled for either of us)?
[/quote]
THIS is the thing that fucks up the chances of most men. If I could sell “i don’t give a fuck” in a bottle, I’d be the richest muther fucker on the planet. Like seriously, the attachment to the FANTASY you’ve built up about this chick in your mind is going to skew all subsequent interactions you have with her. What you “felt”, wasn’t real. What you “hoped for” wasn’t reciprocated. You swung and you missed, yet you are still attached to an outcome that is not REAL…
Keep in mind, there is NO SHAME in swinging an missing - I’ve swung and missed thousands of times. But there IS SHAME in keeping her on a pedestal in your mind or showing her ANY different treatment after you failed to attract her. To publicly display your “butthurtedness” is just weak.
It all stems from biology. Our instincts were developed while we lived in tribes of 50 - 150 people. Being rejected in that environment HAD consequences. You didn’t get many chances and if you got shot down it very well could mean that you never got the chance to mate and your line would come to an unceremonious end. But that’s not the case now. Now, if you get shot down by five chicks, you just go next door to another bar.
Those of us who have more than, say, 200 “cold approaches” under our belts know this. Those of you who were “late bloomers” and “nice guys” tend to wait for super obvious signals before you felt safe to approach a woman. You tend to let THEM select YOU instead of seeking, finding, attracting and fucking women of YOUR choice. As a consequence, you think that an attractive woman willing to talk you/spend time with you is a “valuable thing”. Your brain, hardwired for a hundred thousand years to place high value on limited interaction backs this feeling up. You then put the woman on the pedestal, act like a “nice guy”, supplicate and manipulate, buy her shit, insist on displaying PROVIDER behavior and courting her prematurely, and a laundry list of other shit that KILLS any attraction she may have once felt for you.
I would invite you to STOP THAT. But how, you say? Take a developmental detour. Your thought process on this is like ANY bad habit. You have to replace it with an alternative. You literally have to FORCE YOURSELF to go out and experience rejection over and over until you become immune to it. You have to go out three nights a week for two months and approach five to ten woman a night. You have to learn to view them as a COMMODITY that is NOT special. And in the process, you might actually learn a thing or two about what works and what doesn’t when it comes to attracting women. Once you break yourself of the “nice guy” habit, you can return from your developmental detour and switch back to reality. That is what the “Game” is all about. The issue is that some guys never come back to reality and they get stuck in some stupid fantasy land and never evolve beyond scripted interaction and stupid “tactics”. That’s not a very sustainable lifestyle. But it CAN be useful if it applied like a tool in a toolbox to overcome an issue/habit that is holding you back from reaching your full potential.
You seem like a smart guy, you are in good shape and you seem to have a good sense of humor. If you have a decent job, you “have it all”. There is NO REASON why you SHOULD have any trouble meeting, attracting and fucking any reasonably attractive available woman, is there?
Then I suggest you get out of your own way, take a developmental detour, and stop being such a “nice guy”. You deserve better.
Just lick her face, OP.
[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
She is already mentally in London fucking a guy with a cockney accent and bad teeth. Hence why she is cold to you.
Chalk this one up to bad timing and move on.[/quote]
When I first read this I thought you were a cynical bastard. I still think you are a cynical bastard, but you were right. (Minus the accent)
[quote]Silyak wrote:
[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
She is already mentally in London fucking a guy with a cockney accent and bad teeth. Hence why she is cold to you.
Chalk this one up to bad timing and move on.[/quote]
When I first read this I thought you were a cynical bastard. I still think you are a cynical bastard, but you were right. (Minus the accent)[/quote]
No confirmation on the state of his teeth either.
[quote]James Brown wrote:
No confirmation on the state of his teeth either. [/quote]
Lulz
[quote]James Brown wrote:
[quote]Silyak wrote:
[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
She is already mentally in London fucking a guy with a cockney accent and bad teeth. Hence why she is cold to you.
Chalk this one up to bad timing and move on.[/quote]
When I first read this I thought you were a cynical bastard. I still think you are a cynical bastard, but you were right. (Minus the accent)[/quote]
No confirmation on the state of his teeth either. [/quote]
Ha.
Here is my two cents:
Assuming you are the guy your picture, you look pretty jacked.
I was the “awkward jacked guy” for basically my entire college and law school career (although married in law school, so that does not count), so perhaps you can learn from where I failed.
Girls, despite all the bullshit, pick jacked guys because they look dominant.
Nothing is more disappointing to such a girl than a guy who looks dominant and is meek or too deferential. Apparently, according to all my fraternity brothers, I had swarms of girls who were attracted to me that I promptly turned off by being a pussy. They would use me as bait to get girls in, then close the deal themselves. They tell me this 20 years later, of course.
Now, my casual-sex body count is extremely low. I married 2/5 of the women I’ve ever kissed, to put some math to it. And three of the girls were women that were basically arranged dates by families.
So keep that in mind. I am so far from being a player, that I don’t even know where the playing field is.
That said, from my “failure” you can learn.
The ONE time I went from “friend zone” to sleeping with a girl in college was a study partner that I picked because she was just painfully hot — Jewish track star. She picked me, apparently, because she thought I was hot (saw me deadlifting), but kept me because we actually studied together.
Anyway, I had enough of her shit one night talking about her boyfriend troubles. I basically told her I wasn’t going to help her anymore, her personality sucked, and that the only reason I kept her around is I wanted to fuck her.
We actually got in kind of a push fight as I was getting her shit out of my room. She was like “finally!” And we proceeded to have really rough sex for about six months on a multi-time daily basis. My wife thanks her for what she taught me.
Long way of saying, toughen up a bit.
[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
Nothing is more disappointing to such a girl than a guy who looks dominant and is meek or too deferential.
[/quote]
^^^^
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
Nothing is more disappointing to such a girl than a guy who looks dominant and is meek or too deferential.
[/quote]
^^^^
[/quote]
Even I can agree with this.
Edit: Wait, I might switch out “dominant” for strong or confident, though. Manly.
Yes, the avatar is me. Best. Compliment. Ever.
Totally agree on the looking manly, but not acting it aspect. This is probably my issue, to an extent, but it depends on the situation. For example, when I’m not interested in a girl, and I know she likes me, my actions seem to make them like me more, despite my efforts to show (politely) a lack of interest. However, in the opposite situation, when I like a girl, I find it easy to screw up, mainly by acting to nice, and not making an obvious move quickly enough. The really annoying thing is that I know I do it, while I do it.
One situation where I feel totally confident is when playing sports, or if there is a competitive element to whatever I’m doing. It could be a pub quiz for all I care. It definitely brings out another side in me, and makes it a lot easier to catch a girl’s eye, as I guess, deep down, I like to show off, and beat other guys whenever possible. My playing field, however, is preferably tarmac, grass, track, etc., and not the sticky laminate flooring of a club; this is where I get beat. The reality is that, currently, a club is probably the best place to meet girls. Unfortunately, I fucking hate dancing, and I try not to drink.
Back on topic though, the girl started messaging me again a few days ago. I’ll see her on Sunday, for about 5-6 hours, when we go karting. Should I make any sort of move? If so, what would be the best way to go about it? Obviously, there will be loads of people there, so I’m not going to do anything that would make her uncomfortable, like licking her face.
Honestly? Get other plans and let her know you’re busy that day. If she would be receptive to you making a move, she’ll be twice as receptive to rescheduling and letting you make a move the next time.
[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
Honestly? Get other plans and let her know you’re busy that day. If she would be receptive to you making a move, she’ll be twice as receptive to rescheduling and letting you make a move the next time. [/quote]
Sad to say, I agree. Fucking games, man. But if you’re going to play them - win.
In that case she can make other plans as I am not missing out on the karting.
[quote]James Brown wrote:
In that case she can make other plans as I am not missing out on the karting.[/quote]
You’re rationalizing, brother.
Tell her you have other plans and go karting anyway, then. The point is, break your plans with her.
Hang on. I’m lost now. There are no “plans with her”. We are going karting on Sunday purely because that’s the date the club organised. It is coincidental that we are both going. We will both be there, and inevitably talk to each other.