Imperialist Bastards ! ! !

Off Topic Politics and World Issues
1

Wee ferry threatened by giant US warship

A tiny ferry making its way across the Clyde river got caught up in a NATO naval exercise and ended up being threatened by a large US battleship, it emerged this week.

The 70-year-old boat was starting the 15 minute crossing from Gourock to Kilcreggan when it received a radio message: “Unidentified vessel approaching on my starboard side, please identify yourself. If you fail to do so, we will open fire on you with live ammunition.”

The US ship had just left Faslane Naval base.

A source told the Daily Record: "The skipper got a real fright and radioed him back, saying he was just a wee ferry.

“If you’ve got a big battleship loaded with guns bearing down on you and threatening to shoot, it’s quite scary.”

The message was broadcast on channel 16 - usually reserved for emergencies. Commander Don Chalmers, in charge of the excercise, apologised to the rattled ferry captain

2

ACTUAL transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.

Americans: “Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.”

Canadians: “Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.”

Americans: “This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.”

Canadians: “No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.”

Americans: “THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT’S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.”

Canadians: “This is a lighthouse. Your call.”

3

That’s just unbelievable! Harsh words! Threats! Then an apology! Can you imagine the nerve of those Imperialist Bastards!?

Of course, I often wonder why we Imperialist Bastards should ever apologize to any European for anything. Imperial Bastards like the U.S., well not like the U.S…THE United States has bailed those vaginas out of every serious scrape they’ve ever had.

And they’ll come runnin’ again when someone who really wants to kill their asses starts making noise again.

And we’ll do it all over again. So let me say now:

You’re welcome, asshole.

4

[quote]pookie wrote:
ACTUAL transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.

Americans: “Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.”

Canadians: “Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.”

Americans: “This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.”

Canadians: “No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.”

Americans: “THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT’S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.”

Canadians: “This is a lighthouse. Your call.”[/quote]

HA! No one ever accused the Canadians of not having a sense of humor!

Hockey is proof of that! And shit. The word ‘CANADIAN’ and ‘CANADA’. Those are funny too! I always chuckle at 'em. Like I do when I hear words like ‘turd’ or ‘booger’.

Stupid shit like that makes you laugh. Boogers. Turds. Canadians.

5

Your point? Do you think naval ships of other countries would act any different? Ever hear of the USS Cole?

6

Details on the NATO exercise being conducted in the area, and more details on the incident from UPI.

The exercise includes forces from Britain, the United States, France, Greece, Italy, Norway, Canada and interestingly enough…Belgium. Imperialist countries all.

7

[quote]BH6 wrote:
Details on the NATO exercise being conducted in the area, and more details on the incident from UPI.

The exercise includes forces from Britain, the United States, France, Greece, Italy, Norway, Canada and interestingly enough…Belgium. Imperialist countries all.[/quote]

I assumed the ferry was the Belgian Navy.

8

[quote]pookie wrote:
ACTUAL transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.

Americans: “Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.”

Canadians: “Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.”

Americans: “This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.”

Canadians: “No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.”

Americans: “THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT’S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.”

Canadians: “This is a lighthouse. Your call.”[/quote]

I heard that joke in HS, about 1979. George Carlin used it in his act back then.

9

[quote]Hack Wilson wrote:
…
HA! No one ever accused the Canadians of not having a sense of humor!
…
[/quote]

No, but I can accuse you of not having a sense of humour.

10

[quote]Wreckless wrote:
Hack Wilson wrote:
…
HA! No one ever accused the Canadians of not having a sense of humor!
…

No, but I can accuse you of not having a sense of humour.[/quote]

That’s not true. I’m very funny. And smart, too. Ask me somethin’! Anything! Or I can tell you a joke? Heard the one about the asshole from Belgium that shit his pants and cried himself to sleep?

11

[quote]Hack Wilson wrote:
Wreckless wrote:
Hack Wilson wrote:
…
HA! No one ever accused the Canadians of not having a sense of humor!
…

No, but I can accuse you of not having a sense of humour.

That’s not true. I’m very funny. And smart, too. Ask me somethin’! Anything! Or I can tell you a joke? Heard the one about the asshole from Belgium that shit his pants and cried himself to sleep?

[/quote]

Heard about the ethnocentric bastard called Hack Wilson who preferred to kill a million men to save his own skin cos he was scared shitless for his own life instead of being compassionate for others?

12

[quote]Hack Wilson wrote:
pookie wrote:
ACTUAL transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.

Americans: “Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.”

Canadians: “Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.”

Americans: “This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.”

Canadians: “No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.”

Americans: “THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT’S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.”

Canadians: “This is a lighthouse. Your call.”

HA! No one ever accused the Canadians of not having a sense of humor!

Hockey is proof of that! And shit. The word ‘CANADIAN’ and ‘CANADA’. Those are funny too! I always chuckle at 'em. Like I do when I hear words like ‘turd’ or ‘booger’.

Stupid shit like that makes you laugh. Boogers. Turds. Canadians.[/quote]

I am sure your American ancestors laughed when Canadians burned down the white house and looted the American treasury.
What is funny about hockey? Maybe it is the fact that a hockey player would hospitalize an NFL, MLB or NBA player in a fight.

13

[quote]paul bunyan wrote:
Hack Wilson wrote:
pookie wrote:
ACTUAL transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.

Americans: “Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.”

Canadians: “Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.”

Americans: “This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.”

Canadians: “No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.”

Americans: “THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT’S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.”

Canadians: “This is a lighthouse. Your call.”

HA! No one ever accused the Canadians of not having a sense of humor!

Hockey is proof of that! And shit. The word ‘CANADIAN’ and ‘CANADA’. Those are funny too! I always chuckle at 'em. Like I do when I hear words like ‘turd’ or ‘booger’.

Stupid shit like that makes you laugh. Boogers. Turds. Canadians.

I am sure your American ancestors laughed when Canadians burned down the white house and looted the American treasury.
What is funny about hockey? Maybe it is the fact that a hockey player would hospitalize an NFL, MLB or NBA player in a fight.
[/quote]

Oh. Hockey’s funny because they went on strike. Now they all make less, they have a terrible TV contract, and fewer people go to the games. Sounds like sound Canadian business strategy.

Hey! Send some Canadians down to attack the White House now! See how it goes! You guys are a World Power! Give it a go!

14

[quote]Hack Wilson wrote:
Wreckless wrote:
Hack Wilson wrote:
…
HA! No one ever accused the Canadians of not having a sense of humor!
…

No, but I can accuse you of not having a sense of humour.

That’s not true. I’m very funny. And smart, too. Ask me somethin’! Anything! Or I can tell you a joke? Heard the one about the asshole from Belgium that shit his pants and cried himself to sleep?

[/quote]

Projecting again are we?

15

[quote]Hack Wilson wrote:
paul bunyan wrote:
Hack Wilson wrote:
pookie wrote:
ACTUAL transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.

Americans: “Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.”

Canadians: “Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.”

Americans: “This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.”

Canadians: “No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.”

Americans: “THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT’S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.”

Canadians: “This is a lighthouse. Your call.”

HA! No one ever accused the Canadians of not having a sense of humor!

Hockey is proof of that! And shit. The word ‘CANADIAN’ and ‘CANADA’. Those are funny too! I always chuckle at 'em. Like I do when I hear words like ‘turd’ or ‘booger’.

Stupid shit like that makes you laugh. Boogers. Turds. Canadians.

I am sure your American ancestors laughed when Canadians burned down the white house and looted the American treasury.
What is funny about hockey? Maybe it is the fact that a hockey player would hospitalize an NFL, MLB or NBA player in a fight.

Oh. Hockey’s funny because they went on strike. Now they all make less, they have a terrible TV contract, and fewer people go to the games. Sounds like sound Canadian business strategy.

No the business aspect of the game is fucked because they overexpanded into places where people don’t care about hockey.

Hey! Send some Canadians down to attack the White House now! See how it goes! You guys are a World Power! Give it a go! [/quote]

Pound for pound we would kick all your asses.

16

[quote]paul bunyan wrote:
Hack Wilson wrote:
paul bunyan wrote:
Hack Wilson wrote:
pookie wrote:
ACTUAL transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.

Americans: “Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.”

Canadians: “Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.”

Americans: “This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.”

Canadians: “No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.”

Americans: “THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT’S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.”

Canadians: “This is a lighthouse. Your call.”

HA! No one ever accused the Canadians of not having a sense of humor!

Hockey is proof of that! And shit. The word ‘CANADIAN’ and ‘CANADA’. Those are funny too! I always chuckle at 'em. Like I do when I hear words like ‘turd’ or ‘booger’.

Stupid shit like that makes you laugh. Boogers. Turds. Canadians.

I am sure your American ancestors laughed when Canadians burned down the white house and looted the American treasury.
What is funny about hockey? Maybe it is the fact that a hockey player would hospitalize an NFL, MLB or NBA player in a fight.

Oh. Hockey’s funny because they went on strike. Now they all make less, they have a terrible TV contract, and fewer people go to the games. Sounds like sound Canadian business strategy.

No the business aspect of the game is fucked because they overexpanded into places where people don’t care about hockey.

Hey! Send some Canadians down to attack the White House now! See how it goes! You guys are a World Power! Give it a go!

Pound for pound we would kick all your asses.
[/quote]

Pound for pound? What does that mean? You don’t measure up to the U.S. “pound for pound”. You don’t measure up at all. You don’t measure up dollar for dollar, missile for missile, gun for gun, bullet for bullet. What do you want to do, match up every Canadian against an American in a fist-fight? Brilliant!

Let’s see. Why don’t we start with the winner of the CFL championship against the NFL Superbowl Champions! Oh. Most of those guys are Americans anyway becuause you can’t find 11 guys in Canada tough enough to play real football.

Talk about something other than how tough Canadians are. It’s like me trying to tell you the girlscouts could have invaded and defeated the U.S.S.R in it’s heyday.

17

[quote]pookie wrote:
ACTUAL transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.

Americans: “Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.”

Canadians: “Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.”

Americans: “This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.”

Canadians: “No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.”

Americans: “THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT’S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.”

Canadians: “This is a lighthouse. Your call.”[/quote]

Lmfao. Great play man.