Husband Gone, Realistic or Paranoid?

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Dedicated wrote:
I don’t know how helpful it is to spend life worrying about things that might happen. I commute a fair distance to work on a daily basis and the one in a million chance a semi truck can cream me off the road is something I can become preoccupied worrying about. What good does it do?

All you can do is take precautions, be aware of your surroundings when out and lock doors and windows when at home. Likely it will never happen and in the one in a million chance the Manson family does show up at your door hopefully the fact that the door is locked, fido is barking, and you have your pistol in the night stand will keep your ass safe.

D

I don’t think anyone is talking about sitting around wringing your hands worried about what may happen. However, there is a certain level of alertness that you gain from growing up in a rougher neighborhood. I associate it with what some soldiers experience in combat. You don’t walk around killing everyone after that, but you sure as hell are more prepared than most when something does actually pop off.

Notice how people react the next time a car backfires. The ones who flinch or duck probably didn’t grow up on the richest side of town.[/quote]

Exactly Doc, i’ve taken combat handgun courses and we were taught about alertness. your average person lives in what is called condition white. Which is like those dumbasses who don’t realize they are blocking the mall walkways.

You should live in yellow, which is a relaxed state of awareness all of the time. While most people don’t do this, women seem to have a harder time grasping this concept. I peersonally have a hard time not noticing stuff and awlwys pay attention to my surroundings.

I live in a high-crime neighborhood where the sound of a gunshot (or shots) at night doesn’t even make us flinch. There are two keys to staying safe anywhere:

  1. Be vigilant. Be aware of your surroundings at all times, noting any suspicious individuals, objects that may be used as weapons, where building exits are, and especially if someone is following you while driving home. You don’t have to be paranoid about it especially because it would be pretty easy to spot an amateur following you home so long as you just kept your eyes open a bit and paid a little attention. I know several people who were followed home and robbed this way. It could have been easily avoided if they were paying attention to what they saw in their rearviews.

  2. The way you carry yourself says a lot. I’m assuming you lift. This is good, as lifters and athletes tend to be more confident than others. The way you walk in the street can literally say “I’M AN EASY TARGET”. Keep your eyes looking ahead, stand straight, and walk with confidence. Many people become victims because they present themselves as such.

Also, always stay in well lot areas if you’re out at night and park close to buildings you’re going to. Of course, it’s always best to be in a group. Sounds obvious but people don’t do it.

-You may want to take a self defense class if you have no experience. Take something practical and designed for the street like Krav Maga for example.
-I like the pepper spray idea.

-There’s no need to become neurotic about your safety/vulnerability (in fact criminals will notice it, presenting you as a target).
If you just start thinking in terms of safety more often you will start noticing how oblivious most people are to potentially dangerous situations. It’s like driving. Most accidents can be avoided by a little extra awareness. I’m sure you know that, and I’m sure you don’t have nervous breakdowns of paranoia each time you get behind the wheel. It’s like when you notice some guy who might possibly do something stupid on the road but chances are he won’t cause a terrible accident.

You notice, and you’re ready to react in case he does make a stupid move, and you probably even made some sort of preemptive move to prepare for that (like switching lanes). So just extend that mindset to other areas of your life. It’ll make a big difference.

[quote]Digity wrote:
If someone tries to break in release the dog…or bees…or a dog with bees in its mouth and it barks it shoots bees at you. Problem solved.[/quote]

Screw that. Go with the robotic Richard Simmons.

[quote]sluicy wrote:
I don’t think I’d carry a Glock though, I lean toward revolvers, they’re what I learned to shoot on and personally I just like a revolver. No particular reason, it just is simpler, I guess. [/quote]

There is a very good reason to carry a revolver over a semi - it will never ever misfire.

Hell you live in Texas it is your state requirement to carry a weapon.

Try getting a CCW permit in the peoples republik of Maryland…

[quote]Mr.Bill wrote:
Hell you live in Texas it is your state requirement to carry a weapon.

Try getting a CCW permit in the peoples republik of Maryland…[/quote]

In many states you need a good reason to carry. For example: your line of work is dangerous - carrying valuables, etc. Years ago when I lived in Michingan there was a CCW board who you went before to plead your need to carry. May have changed by now…

My wife is about 5’4, 105#. I’m a German Sheperd dog kinda guy, so we had 2 80lb GSD sisters. I trained them from day 1 and it was mandatory that they walked at a heel on at my wife’s side. I saw on several occasions people give her a very wide berth, even when they were smaller.

Just the presence of a dog (esp. 2) is enough to ward off the not so ambitious thugs.

One priceless command is “Growl on command”.

re: The gun. I firmly believe in open carry and the right to bear arms. With that, you must remember that if you’re going to carry YOU MUST BE WILLING TO USE IT. I’ll leave it at that.

You mentioned rural Maine. I live in rural Maine, and while you’re not likely to get mugged (maybe Munjoy Hill Portland or Lewiston), you ARE likely to have your home invaded by someone hopped up on Meth or Allen’s Coffee Brandy. My home invasion policy is to shoot first.

Stay alert, make smart choices, and trust your instincts and you’ll be fine.

[quote]SteelyD wrote:
My wife is about 5’4, 105#. I’m a German Sheperd dog kinda guy, so we had 2 80lb GSD sisters. I trained them from day 1 and it was mandatory that they walked at a heel on at my wife’s side. I saw on several occasions people give her a very wide berth, even when they were smaller.

Just the presence of a dog (esp. 2) is enough to ward off the not so ambitious thugs.

One priceless command is “Growl on command”.

re: The gun. I firmly believe in open carry and the right to bear arms. With that, you must remember that if you’re going to carry YOU MUST BE WILLING TO USE IT. I’ll leave it at that.

You mentioned rural Maine. I live in rural Maine, and while you’re not likely to get mugged (maybe Munjoy Hill Portland or Lewiston), you ARE likely to have your home invaded by someone hopped up on Meth or Allen’s Coffee Brandy. My home invasion policy is to shoot first.

Stay alert, make smart choices, and trust your instincts and you’ll be fine.[/quote]

Yeah, most of my life I lived on the coast, Booothbay/Bucksport areas, which were nice, but we lived in Washington County for a year and were broken into three times. The first two times the door was broken open, but nothing else. We had a dog at that time. The third time, no dog at home, had a lot of electronics stolen.

And what on earth is the Mainiac fascination with coffee brandy? I tried it once and it was disgusting. I’m a native but I just don’t get it.

[quote]Geminspector wrote:
sluicy wrote:
I don’t think I’d carry a Glock though, I lean toward revolvers, they’re what I learned to shoot on and personally I just like a revolver. No particular reason, it just is simpler, I guess.

There is a very good reason to carry a revolver over a semi - it will never ever misfire.

[/quote]

Revolvers can misfire, it’s just that if a round doesn’t fire you just pull the trigger again. A semiauto involves a clearing drill which is a lot more complicated.

[quote]Geminspector wrote:
Mr.Bill wrote:
Hell you live in Texas it is your state requirement to carry a weapon.

Try getting a CCW permit in the peoples republik of Maryland…

In many states you need a good reason to carry. For example: your line of work is dangerous - carrying valuables, etc. Years ago when I lived in Michingan there was a CCW board who you went before to plead your need to carry. May have changed by now…[/quote]

Yeah, we lived in Grand Rapids for a year as well and it was quite a long process to purchase a weapon, let alone get a CCW.

[quote]sluicy wrote:
And what on earth is the Mainiac fascination with coffee brandy? I tried it once and it was disgusting. I’m a native but I just don’t get it. [/quote]

Allen’s Coffee Brandy does two things and therefore goes by 2 different names:

  • “Fat Ass In A Glass”
  • “Liquid Panty Remover”

:wink:

[quote]SteelyD wrote:
<<< Just the presence of a dog (esp. 2) is enough to ward off the not so ambitious thugs.

One priceless command is “Growl on command”.

re: The gun. I firmly believe in open carry and the right to bear arms. With that, you must remember that if you’re going to carry YOU MUST BE WILLING TO USE IT. I’ll leave it at that. >>>[/quote]

Agreed on both counts. Even at home. If somebody starts fiddling with a door or windows and is met with enthusiastic barking, all but the most ambitious miscreant will rethink their plans.

Remember The Shootist with John Wayne? The kid asks him “how did you come to win so many gunfights?” and The Duke’s character answers “most men will hesitate just that split second… I won’t.” A movie I know, but goota love The Duke.

[quote]sluicy wrote:
Tiribulus wrote:
Professor X wrote:
<<< On the dog issue, I was in the 6th grade when someone poisoned my massive German Shepherd (big enough for me to ride at the time) in an effort to break into the house. What stopped them was the security (lead lined) door my dad installed.

Pets are great…but it isn’t like they are invincible.

There is a point here and one which argues for starting a puppy early when you know he’ll be a working adult. Food refusal is tough to teach to an adult dog, but is a snap when you start young. I’ve worked with dogs, a couple my own, that you could put in a down stay with their nose resting one inch from a steak and go out for the evening and come back to them still in the same position until they’re told they can eat it. Of course she is not in a position to have this with her current dog, but I’m just talking what can be done.

Bottom line is a really good dog with some really good training can do some security work that would make the general public’s hair stand on end, but even then I would not rely on ANY animal over an armed human to save my life. If her dog is under 2 years it could probably be taught to bark if somebody were trying to get in and in the hands of a very good (and well paid) trainer to go get her up too. In any case, no, they are not invincible, but can be a useful tool.

Titus is the first dog I’ve had that is not a retriever or shepherd and it is so much fun to learn how he learns and how he is motivated differently than dogs I’m used to. I’ve really learned not to rule out what a dog can learn and what they can’t learn regardless of age.

In regard to this subject though, I’ve learned that no matter what you haven’t trained a dog to do, if you establish the correct connection/hierarchical position with them, they will defend you, I imagine because in their mind they’re defending their pack. Two examples. Our last dog was a rescue, a really screwed up fear-aggressive shepherd mix. He could grow to accept anyone over a period of time, except for this one couple, even though we spent more time with them than almost anyone else, yet he always responded to them with extreme aggression. They turned out to be untrustworthy “friends” who stabbed us in the back over a huge business/personal situation.

Then, our current dog Titus whom we adopted six months ago barks about once a month. He’s not particularly affectionate or protective, very very laid back (it’s so cute when you draw him out and get him kissing and romping like a puppy!) not to mention VERY lazy. If he whuffs at a particularly close noise, like someone knocking on the neighbors’ door, he’ll usually go right back to sleep. But about two months ago he woke us up in the middle of the night barking repeatedly. We got up and he was standing in the middle of the living room, and looked pointedly at us then back at the window.

It was so out of character for him to put two, let alone eight or ten barks together, not to mention getting off the couch and looking alive, we knew he was telling us to pay attention to something. He hasn’t done it since and it is still a chore to drag his butt off the couch, the lazy monster.

Bottom line, even without guard training, establish a proper rapport with a good, sensible dog and they will tell you what they sense, if you are know how to listen. There have been other episodes with Titus (his reactions to people, etc.) that make me really trust his instincts. He visibly assesses people before accepting them or not, and he doesn’t accept everyone.

All that said definitely not to put down guard dog training. A well trained dog is an incredible asset, especially with kids, and many dogs need high level training to feel fulfilled and doing their job. Shepherds and many other breeds are just drawn into their full potential by training much more extensive than “Sit, Down, Roll over baby!”

I love dogs and could talk about them forever. :slight_smile:

[/quote]

You are too nice, to live where you do.

[quote]Headhunter wrote:

You are too nice, to live where you do.

[/quote]

Thank you very much for the sentiment but it is not forever. My husband is working so I can go to school and it’s really not as bad as it could be. It’s just getting used to a different environment that’s new. I’m getting my street legs, haha. Otherwise I’m very happy. Heck, I finally have my gym at home and a new pull up bar, can’t beat that!

[quote]Professor X wrote:
If you live in a large city, which Dallas is, you should ALWAYS be concerned about your safety. That goes for everyone, not just women. You don’t leave your door open, and you don’t ignore the FACT that people will watch your habits in order to find your weaknesses.

This is something those of us who didn’t grow up rich but grew up in large cities learned very early on.

Even now, if I buy a new electronic product, whether that be a tv or computer, I will do my best to reduce to the number of people who actually SEE me bring it in.

All it takes is one time for someone to break in for you to lose any sense of security you thought you had.

What bothers me is that you didn’t know this already.

This is also why inner city kids aren’t as sedentary and un-athletic as kids who grew up in more relaxed surroundings. You do push ups as a kid when there is a risk someone will take advantage of you if you look too weak.[/quote]

Couldn’t have said it better

[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:

There was a book called “The Gift of Fear” and it had scenarios where folks had ignored their initial instincts because any action would seem impolite.

For instance, you are waiting for an elevator and when it comes you are about to enter and a strange creepy guy waits behind you to enter. Your instinct tells you not to, but you don’t want to be rude so you enter.

Same thing as if the elevator arrived already filled with someone or someones that set off your alarm bells. Your instinct tells you not to enter, but you do it because it is the polite thing to do.

Also walking down the street. You think you are being followed. Instead of turning around and looking, or stopping to let the person or persons pass, you keep walking because to turn around and look to stop as and let them pass would be rude.

So, (sorry for the long post) what I am getting at is to trust your instinct. Don’t care if what you think you should do seems paranoid or rude. You have to do what you think is best, safest and feels right for you.

My mom hung little jingle bells on our windows and door knobs when dad would be out of town. Just a cheap way of giving a little bit of notice if someone tries to break in. [/quote]

Excellent post. ALWAYS trust your instincts and be aware of your surroundings. It’s irrelevant whether someone else thinks you’re paranoid if you have a concern over your safety. Contact your local Police or Sheriff department and inquire whether they have safety seminars or could direct you to one.

[quote]sluicy wrote:
Also, I almost never carry a purse or bag or whatever, so those concealment purses are out. If I carry, it’s got to be on me. I weigh 115-120. Any suggestions? [/quote]

Google Smart Carry. It’s the only holster I wear off duty and is virtually undetectable.