Hey…just wanted to change focus a little from spew baths, rim jobs and swallowing just to see how “romantic” my Forum Compadres are. Yes…sex is certainly a part of romance, but I want you guys to put the sex part aside for a while.
So…guys…drink a little Soy Milk and Tofu Shake…everybody put on “The Bridges of Madison County”, “Steel Magnolias” and “Hope Floats” and tell me; what do you do to show your Loved One that you truly love them? (The fact that you wash your balls prior to a blowjob DOES NOT COUNT!)
I’ll start: I’ll catch Jenna at a time when she is really down about something, and at an unexpected moment, and just tell her how much she means to me, how my life would seem shallow without her, and how I’m here for her…and just hold her for a long time…
Just this last weekend, while laying on the couch with my girlfriend watching TV shortly after waking up, I had a revelation. I asked her to come back to bed with me so we could fall asleep in each other’s arms. As we were both on the edge of sleeping, I quietly whispered in her ear “I love you” for the first time. Then slept like babies.
Surprise emails. Michelle and I practically live online. And foot rubs.
I also do the dishes and cook, as she rarely has time (and really HATES doing the dishes).
It's all about being considerate. If I talk to her on the phone during the day and she sounds stressed, I try to have a cocktail waiting and dinner nearly ready when she walks in the door. It works both ways, too. When my head isn't right she notices and remembers to be patient. I look at it as an investment in our relationship, and I must admit I take pleasure in pleasing her.
My girl friend always tells her friend about the little notes I leave around for her. Little post-its on the mirrors or in the fridge or her lunch bag. Also, just giving her a card of appreciation every once and a while puts a smile on her face. Flowers just because has always been a big hit with her. But the most roomantic thing is probably the fact that I wash my balls before a blowjob
Granted, I’m not a man but I can tell you guys what my honey does for me. It’s really along the lines of where DD was going with showing love in all the “little” ways. My guy will wash my car for me or get my oil changed on his lunch break. He’ll sometimes go to my place for lunch and vacuum, clean the kitchen and leave a rose. He actually leaves roses around a bit, sometimes on my pillow with a Hershey’s Kiss and a Hug and a couple of cherries, or on my desk for me to find when I get back from a meeting, or one in every room of the house in a different color with a sticky note saying the “red is for my true love, yellow is for my best friend, white is for undying loyalty, pink is for our deep affection” type thing with each flower. He gives great massages and has a beautiful singing voice. He’ll text message me with lyrics to “our song” (Tonic, If You Could Only See). He doesn’t give me grief about going out with my friends, is either the designated driver if he comes with or will drop us off and pick us up at 2am if he doesn’t come along. Aaahh, yup. My honey is pretty wonderful.
Okay, education time! Folks, I’m not going to say ANYTHING about what I do for my wife, since you could do the same thing for your lady and it might mean NOTHING to her. Read the book “The Five Love Languages”. Find out which is YOUR mate’s love language, and do that. Here’s a list of the languages: words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service (seems Michelle and Karma have this one), physical touch, and quality time (seems this one os Spanky’s). Put some effort into figuring out what means “I love you” to YOUR MATE, not you.
I wish I could say I’ve done things lately, but being jobless and moneyless has made me quite depressed and bitchy.
Even when we were on opposite sides of the country, I tried to surprise him. Random gifts, food (like pizza *grin*), emails, e-cards, phone calls, etc just to say 'I'm thinking of you, I love you, and our relationship is very special.'
I really dig making dinner for a girl. I enjoy cooking, and she seems to enjoy having dinner made for her, so it works out great. Last time I cooked scallops with roasted red pepper sauce, fettucini alfredo, and chocolate souffle for dessert (OK, not the healthiest meal, but if you’re going to cheat it may as well be something good, right?) I’ll also stop by a flower shop and buy her flowers for absolutely no reason. Contrary to what some guys may think, I think being romantic makes you more of a man, not less of one.
I send my guy letters. I get some really nice stationary and then decorate it like crazy with stickers, glitter glue, sparkly ink. It usually takes about two or three hours and they turn into real works of art. Each has a theme relevant to something we did together recently. For example we had a romantic starlit night watching a meteor shower, so the envelope was a whole starry night sky theme and when he opened it little shiny mylar stars fell out all over him. Each one contains a variety of coupons he can use for massages, dinner, etc. to redeem when ever he wants. He leaves beautifully wrapped packages on my pillow from time to time, once a cd I wanted, once perfume, once a toaster oven. He sneaks in and leaves them there it is totally a suprise.
Ko will never, ever spout out about how romantic he is. Since he’s a “man” you know wink. However, these past two weeks, while I busily prepare for the Comic Con, he’ll cook and bring me my lunch to work, clean the kitchen, cook dinner, take care of our “children”, and just be all around supportive of me while I’m behaving like a “crazed arteest”.
Admittedly, I'm probably not that romantic either. I'm not into getting flowers and such. And we're both not into foot rubs, massages, etc. I am painting onto a huge canvas (4x4) a "futuristic" samurai for Ko. That's my personal gift to him. And Ko will "surprise" me occasionally with a box of Mike n' Ikes or Animal Crackers. OH! And on Valentines' Day, he got four boxes of them really cheap and gaudy heart shaped boxes of chocolates. I thought that was just about the funniest thing - and he also cooked me dinner. I actually think it's "romantic" when we train together with the focus pads and on the heavy bag. Wierd, huh?
Well, my hands tend to get psoriasis, so when I went to make them feel ultra-special, I go the extra mile and use moisturizing soap in addition to cortizone cream. Rosy has never felt better, let me tell you.
Here is a trick for all you t-men. Since, I have yet to find a florist on airplane. I pre-order flowers to be delivered the day before I get home. it works wonders. give it a try.
Best of Luck.
Pretty much the standard stuff others have mentioned. Massages, foot rubs while watching a movie, cooking dinner along with a good bottle of wine, and keeping the house and animals in order when my wife is busy. She also likes flowers, but most of all I try to just sit and listen to my spouse for 15min. at the end of the work day. Sometimes she needs to vent and other times she’s just excited about something and needs to tell someone. I try not to solve the issues, just sit, listen and make the appropriate empathetic responses.
Yeah I like to do things when my GF doesn’t expect it, like I put candles in the shower room, and filled the bath with rose petals then blind folded her andled her into there before taking off the blindfold. Other times I think it is romatic to come back from the gym and just grab your girl and have sex!
Brider has got it down 100%. The Five Languages of Love, even a bit mushy has some great info for whatever type of woman you’re dating(Except for possibly psychotics) I read it, applied what I needed to my woman, which was just a lil quality time and bam, she’s all over me all the time.
Yes, brider, excellent book recommendation. My love language is actually a 50/50 split between physical touch and acts of service, so while my guy is really good at doing the acts of service, he’s a bit lacking in the physical touch department. His language is about a 75/25 split of words of encouragement and physical touch. That’s kind of hard for me since complimenting/reassuring people does not come naturally to me. Obviously, we both get enough of what we need but could always use a bit more. The real key is to do like you said and “speak” the OTHER person’s language to them - instead of assuming that if you like something, they’ll like it too.
Im gettin married on Aug 17, and was bustin my noggin on what to get her for a present. Then I came up with the idea of an electronic scrapbook. I took all the pictures of us I could find and threw them into a powerpoint file, dug up an assload of love quotes on the net, and set it to a couple songs about love. The final project is a kickass presentation of our relationship that I will show to her when we are finished opening gifts after the wedding. I know this will surly make her cry, as it even gives me tingles when i watch it. (thats when you know you hit home). This would be a great idea for anyone looking for a birthday-anniversary-x-mas-relationship spice present that has real thought.
Good point Brider (sorry, I missed your post earlier) The five Love Languages is a great book. My languages seem to change, when I am away from my mate - I spent a long time in two different long distance relationships - I am very much a ‘gift’ person. However, I see a random email, a phone call or a note as a gift. (i.e. ‘Spending’ time is more important than spending money) Now that I am actually within touching range, I think I’m 50/50 touching and service. I think I revert to ‘gift’ because it is a long distance touch. (does that make sense?)
And for all of you rolling your eyes about this... think about it. They guys who bother with these things are the ones who have partners and are happy with them.
