But you have reached out for help. On here. And you have received support, advice, and solidarity from many members. That took courage from you. It is outrageous that you are not allowed to seek help, and you ARE a tough guy, but existing in spite of not wanting to exist is not a life for anyone. I want you and OP to have more than that, and you should too.
1 Like
Just out of curiosity, what kind of qualifications do you have to be giving out this kind of advice?
Man the first time I got hit with depression/anxiety was when I was in my mid twenties a few years ago.
Hit me like train. I had no idea what was going on and I distinctly remember the moment everything changed. I had just gotten brunch with my girlfriend and as we were driving home I was just overcome with what is nearly an indescribable feeling but what many commonly agree is a feeling of impending doom. I became nauseous and vomited several times. For the next 4 months to 6 months I battled this nearly everyday.
Initially I thought I had some sort of gastrointestinal disorder. Saw a specialist. They even went so far as to make me take a breath test for H. pylori. Everything was negative obviously psychosomatic symptoms.
These feelings would hit me and I just had to ride it out. It always ended. So I would have periods symptom free but it was wreaking havoc on my life. It got to the point where I looked forward to sleep because that was my only opportunity for a reprieve. Often waking up and feeling fantastic. The first 30 minutes I feel great thinking I finally made it through but sure enough it hit me and the cycle would repeat itself.
I finally scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist. But at that point it seemed like I was improving but I still chose to see one.
He told me what I thought was the biggest load of garbage.
He said " I got two things to tell you one good one bad. Which do you want to hear first"
I chose bad first to which he replied “There is no cure for what you are dealing with. No quick fix”
Internally I was screaming. I just spent a 600 dollars for a 45 minute consult with what was supposed to be the best psychiatrist in area.
The good news was even bigger bullshit. " I can teach you techniques to help you cope with this feelings".
As much as I hated the news it is very true. Best way to deal with depression and anxiety is develop coping mechanisms and try to build resiliency. I am symptom free now for the most part but I still get hit with it occasionally and its devastating. I usually lay on a couch with a warm compress and listen to delta waves. A sort of meditation I suppose.
My advice like everyone here is
#1 see a professional. But look for a reputable one. Ideally a psychiatrist and a counselor or therapist. I don’t advocate medication but if its just a temporary crutch to get you through a hard time its absolutely worth it.
#2 Reach out to support groups. Talk to people who also have gone through it. There are so many of us out there and most of us don’t realize it because this sort of suffering is internalized. Fear of stigma. When I met people who experience similar things it helped tremendously.
#3 Always remember that no matter how bad it gets it always gets better.
#4 Stay away from things that trigger or exacerbate your depression or anxiety. I can’t drink too much caffeine or do too strong of a stimulant. Stress is another one. Main solution I found is making sure I take care of all my responsibilities and obligations promptly. Pay rent/mortage when its due. Don’t get into debt. Just be responsible over all.
Anyways hope you get something from that.
1 Like
Please do what you can to seek professional help. It might sound extreme/daunting but they know what they are doing.
A public forum can be a great place to put down some of your feelings/thoughts into words or somewhere to just vent. It can be a bit of a release but it’s not somewhere you should go looking for advice on depression, anxiety or any mental health issue.
If you ever need someone non-judgemental to vent to, please feel free to message me at absolutely any time. Is there a PM function on this site or somewhere I can send an email address to?
1 Like
He’s a licensed observer of society and women.
And that’s fine and all, I just feel that on topics as important as this, the OP has a right to understand where the advice is coming from. There’s a big difference between “I’m trained, registered and experienced at dealing with these problems” and “i’ve lived through this and these are my experiences”. There’s an even bigger leap to “this is some stuff what I found on youtube”. None of these are wrong, but a bit of information about where the advice is coming from can give some clarity on whether you choose to follow it.
1 Like
Absolutely correct. I was just making a joke referring to the other thread he’d been vocal in lately though.
I think we can all agree though, that we should leave that topic in that thread and not clutter up Hawkeyes thread with drivel.
I self treated my PTSD from: (1) numerous Iraq and Afganistan tours, (2) felon biological father (spending a lifetime in Huntsville, TX, where he belongs), (3) suicide death of felon, drug-dealing, brother, and (4) very high functioning, but definitely alcoholic, mother by taking lots of steroids, becoming obsessed with financial success, and dating and almost marrying a rather large series of strippers.
This actually worked, but in the process I almost killed a guy (who was admittedly a flaming asshole wife-beater) in cold blood (changed my mind at the last minute – upon realization that the solutions that work in Afghanistan are not legal here), destroyed numerous relationships with quality women, wrecked a number of cars, machine gunned an elk that pissed me off (past statute of limitations, thank you – and I ate him), and occasionally beat the crap out of people, that, in my self-lawful position as cop, prosecutor, judge, and jury, I decided needed, by all rights, the crap beaten out of.
Somehow, no one died and no one went to jail.
So, this path is not particularly advisable, as it bears some risk.
It did, though, make for some awesome stories and an epic multi-year thread on T-Nation. So you have that.
In sum, take the mental health approach and talk to professionals, as the wiser posters have advised.
Please read the last sentence again.
Also in seriousness, I would consider (although you are probably too young) legal methods to boost testosterone appropriate to you (e.g., an anti-aromotase). I think (in my completely unlearned opinion, but from self-evaluation and evaluation of other men) that higher-than-normal testosterone levels offset a lot of the symptoms of depression with the side-effects of slowly become awesome.
2 Likes
80-90%of seretonin is produced in your gut, keep a healthy guy Biome.
Eat prEbiotics (beans, bananas, fiberous vegetables etc.)
Eat prObiotics (sauerkraut, kombucha, kimchi etc.)
If you really want to feel good, eat a banana with a bottle of Kombucha.
This may not “fix” all of you symptoms, but there is a fair chance it could help, and is a good first step. I noticed I have felt much more calm after I started eating sauerkraut regularly. You could also consider looking into GABA (gamma-amino-byuteric acid) it is supposed to help with “nervous tension”, it is an over the counter supplement. Also, get enough good sleep.
Absolutely got that, I just felt I needed to elaborate on why I was asking the questions I was. Yours was there so I took the opportunity.
Yeah, I don’t feel safe in my house. My parents are ruining my relationship with the best thing I have in my life right now. She’s beginning to hate me. My parents also genuinely hate me. If she breaks up with me, I don’t know what I’ll do.
This, this right here…this is it. Aha!
1 Like
You left off shooting an elk. Oddly, it was butchering the elk in my barn when I had the “WTF am I doing with my life” moment.
1 Like
I can be prone to anxiety and have tried to find ways to deal with it. As my life has quite a bit of responsibilities, it can be easy to let my mind churn and make me stressed out. While prescription drugs, therapy, and cannabis can help some, there are other ways of dealing.
One is meditation. I went through a stressful phase a few years back that was making it hard to sleep well and feel good. Learning how to meditate and “watch your mind” rather than being controlled by it is powerful. It’s harder to do than it sounds, and sometimes I really have to work hard to remind myself it’s just “thoughts” and not reality. Try some guided body scan meditations, which you can do lying down in the morning. These, like exercise, aren’t instantaneous cures but if done consistently and with intent, you will make remarkable changes in your levels of anxiety.
Good luck.
1 Like
I would have preferred to gun it down and then beat it to death. But, that’s just me. I wouldn’t have let the machine gun take care of the best part.
1 Like
It was literally one of the dumbest things I’ve done. We have lots of deer, elk, turkey, whatever, that will destroy a garden. So I spend some considerable effort creating an enclosure to keep out critters.
This stupid bull elk (who couldn’t get laid and was hanging out by my house, having been run off from the cows by a bigger bull elk) just pushed against the enclosure and started stomping on it to get my tomatoes. I saw this from my home office and became irrationally furious.
My home office contains, as a matter of pride and decoration, a Thompson Sub Machine gun, properly tax-stamped (twice) as a short barrel rifle and full auto. I left it (pre-children here) loaded up on a shelf with a stick in it. Expensive toy.
Anyway, elk is stomping on enclosure. I go out, let him have 30 rounds at about 10 feet.
Elk dies.
Mind you this was out in the boonies, but still technically in the city limits. Also hunting with no tag, out of season, with a weapon that it is illegal to kill an elk with for about 3 reasons. So, state and federal felonies going on.
I have to hook up a tractor to drag said giant beast to the barn, where I dismember it and put it in the freezer. OK rack, which I dumped over a nearby cliff.
Anyway, as I was bloody (in street clothes) dismembering this thing, I felt like I was one step away from being a serial killer.
I didn’t get help, but I did lock up all my guns (excepting a carry pistol) and put myself on the right track.
Note, I didn’t "get " help, which is the wise course. I was just (consistently) a lucky guy.
3 Likes
Ah, the power of the Second Amendment. I love this country. Good job on not getting caught, by the way.
1 Like
That is one of the funniest stories I’ve ever read, as I’m imagining it unfold as I’m reading it.
There’s a flock of turkeys that hang out in my yard, and one would bonk his beak against the window at his reflection which would make me jump out of my skin every so often. I’ve wanted to just wait on the roof and thunk him one with an arrow, but a couple of my neighbors are already a bit stand-offish. Me ambushing a bird like that might put them over the edge.
1 Like
Not allowed to??