Hope This Helps Anyone Lurking Like I Was: My Experiece

Pharma / TRT Testosterone Replacement
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I have yet to post in here as I wanted to get a solid grasp on how my TRT journey would go. This is going to be long but if I can help one person along the way I feel I have done some good. I am a 23-year Marine combat veteran, I am 6’5” and 245 (forgot to throw that in). I recently retired off active duty and so far, things are going well. I have always enjoyed the iron game and honestly it has kept me going through a lot of hard times in my life. So how did this all start?

In 2004 I was diagnosed with PTSD. I received treatment and it was prematurely ended for me to redeploy back to Iraq. When I came home again my wife, and I had a tough time. I was deployed 2 more times, once back to the Gulf on a MEU and another was back to Afghanistan. Along the way I was promoted several times, increased responsibility and my marriage was deteriorating. Some how I kept my shit together to fake it until I made it and was reassigned to a cozy billet in the middle of nowhere.

Things came crashing when a Marine I knew very well took his life. He was subordinate to me, but we had a very easy-going relationship. I was put back on Prozac and Zoloft. Things still were not getting better at home and I grabbed one of my superiors when he insulted me, I said he would not be so tough if he could not hide behind that rank. I immediately applied for retirement. So, all the while I am smashing it in the gym, running and being extremely active. I still feel like dog shit. I started researching SARMS as they were grey area at the time (I am the guy who gets caught lol, we recently adopted the World Anti-Doping regulations in the DOD) and figured I would go see doc about getting my test ran. My head corpsman and I worked out together, he knew the reason I was doing this. Results came back and said I would be fine.

I did a cycle of MK-2866 Ostarine and GW-501516Cardarine. The shit changed my fucking life. I was a different person almost overnight. I looked at my wife with tears in my eyes, big bad Marine and apologized for being such a mother fucker. I told her the thing I was afraid of was I was going to go back to being the person I was before. Things went extremely well. I cycled off and went back on for another cycle but I had to cut it short, the DOD changed its policy and I was short timing. Gains and psychological benefit or not I was not risking my pension. Well, I went right back to being a hard drinking piece of shit.

So I am finally doing my out process with the VA and medical. My buddy gets put on a TRT protocol and says I should look into it. I was certain there wasn’t anything wrong with me but I had my records, so I looked at the blood work they had run on me the year before. Remember when doc said I was fine? I never actually looked at the blood work. I was not fine, I was god damn fucked! 315/47. I contacted the clinic and scheduled to have my labs ran. Came back even worse, 285/37. I speak to the Dr and he says besides my test levels I was probably the fittest person he has ever worked with. He said based off my liver panel he would not even really know I drank alcohol other than socially, that was a tad surprising.

It has been about 8 weeks, I was given 300mg test C and 1200 IU HCG initially. I cut the HCG out as I began to have some bad sides associated with it and began running an AI. I understand this is a mild cycle and stronger than most prescribed TRT protocols, I have never ran gear before so I figured I would go with this and back it off once I rerun my blood work (waiting on the labs, I can update if anyone is interested).

So, the good news, hell amazing news. I am no longer depressed; I am off my PTSD medication and I am easy going like I was when my wife and I first met (going on 18 years). I still have anxiety issues, but I am sleeping better. My children and I enjoy or time together. Yesterday I went to the archery range and my oldest forgot her release, she looked at me and said dad please do not get angry with me. I simply smiled and said its fine kid just share mine we will make it work. 3 months ago I would have exploded like an asshole and bullied my kid for no reason! Now obviously I have some decent gains in the gym too but that is not what this is about. I plan to keep tinkering and working with the Dr to see what the necessary levels are to keep me healthy and balanced. I don’t think TRT is the answer to every person suffering from PTSD but I knew when that Marine ended his life I had to explore every avenue or I would end up just like him. I hope this helps anyone who may need it. This forum has been a great deal of help even if I was just lurking in it.

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That’s wild to me; you’d think they would encourage PED use? Is it more so guys don’t get out of hand?

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I’m glad your getting better dude.

Sounds like you really need to have a sit down with your kids and spend a lot of time working with them and building trust. It would seem your daughter is already developing Complex PTSD, something most of us have to some degree from childhood but can take a lifetime or more to repair in some cases.

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That’s something I didn’t think about and will take to heart. I have a surprisingly good relationship with my children given the circumstances

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Thank you for your service.

Part of me thinks all soldiers and police officers should be on testosterone. That aside, it is a shame the VA does not take a different approach when it comes to PTSD. It seems I see a lot of former military who are diagnosed with depression and PTSD and are given medications when what they really needed was testosterone.

Congratulations on finding a solution. Were you in close proximity to explosions and/or did you experience many concussions?

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Navy Medical screwed up my original diagnosis as far as they were concerned my Test levels were on the bottom range of low, my physical fitness scores were above average for my age and I’m well know in the gym. Take that how you want. I’m currently waiting on my VA claim. All of treatment I received was while in active duty. The best I received was while at my last duty station as we were seen by civilians in the community. I wasn’t the only one affected by the incident. I was recently diagnosed with mild TBI injuries from my first tour in 2003, unfortunately that just wasn’t something that was looked at until later.

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Thanks for sharing your story. I am happy for you. Keep up the good work.

I agree with the comments on psych drugs, not a fundamental solution.

Interesting that with T in healthy ranges, one is often LESS irrationally aggressive. And, I find, more capable of appropriate aggression, aggression that is proper and necessary given the objective facts.

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Navy is notorious for messing people up. They cut my right hip flexor (Psoas) in half while getting a bone spur addressed… But hte TBI- Have you considered Hyperbaric Oxygen therapy, or Neurofield Neurotherapy? It works wonders for TBI. High Dose Fish oil, vitamin A, and Methylene Blue are huge for healing and the M-blue is HUGE for reoxygenating your brain and mitichondrial output. Best of luck, brother!

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Oh yea- the liposomal creatiene as well… My son suffered a significant TBI after receiving his childhood shots (We got the imaging done more recently) in the central valley of his brain, and those were the recommendations for healoing the damage. I have been consulting internationally as well. Hope it helps.

and TBI is TBI- Regardless of why, apparently, damage to brain tissue is treatable. I also have PTSD from the military and serious back and hip pain from the botched surgery they did. Ive done the HBOT, but the neurotherapy is supposed to help my brain re-calibrate my pain receptors- Im just not so sure I wanna do that because my 4 now is like an 11 back before the injuries. I recommend the Neurofield neurotherapy specifically because my kiddo has been making noticeable improvements after only a few weeks of the treatments. There are others out there, but that specific one takes the QEEG brain map to see where the specific damage is located, then they can direct the therapy to those specific areas instead of just treating the whole head- which can be beneficial, but if theres one spot that needs it more, Id rather stimulate neuronal growth in the damaged areas, but thats my preferance. ANYWAYS- take care & best of luck.

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That was inspiring, man. My stepdad (3 tours of 'Nam and 30 years as a CO at a state prison) recently passed. He managed his PTSD great, only 2 things set him off: Gunfire at night and helicopters. Before he passed, he had to go to the emergency room, they offered a chopper and he said “Hell no! I was supposed to evac twice and missed it both times. Both were shot down with my friends.” He only took Benzos when needed. Your story is proof that the VA should be trying TRT and similar alternatives first. Best of luck to you and yours.

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A really inspiring story. Kudos to your wife for going through the shits with you and not walking off. That’s a keeper right there.
Congratulations on getting off the psych meds. 300mg isn’t exactly a TRT dose but at this point - who gives a shit? If it’s making you feel good and be a better person, stick with it. Make sure to get your check-ups done to make sure everything is fine.