[quote]nephorm wrote:
steveo5801 wrote:
In the words of Jesus, “You are not very far from the Kingdom of God.”
ASK and ye shall recieve my friend.
This is a bit more personal than I generally like to get, but here goes. While I have always contemplated God, and wondered what he might be, I have never been a believer, and have always had doubts. Certainly not a Christian. In high school, my best friend at the time was agnostic, and steadily became more atheistic until we both went off to separate colleges. When he got there, he fell in love with a young woman who was a Christian, and started attending church regularly again.
He was saved.
I was happy for him and his newfound faith. There were certain hypocrisies I noticed, but said nothing about. As I said, he was a very good friend who I cared about a great deal, and I did think he was made happier by his faith. He was no dummy, either, and I respected his opinions and beliefs. I took his conversion seriously, and I wondered if I might be missing something in my own life.
I prayed, I read the Bible, I went to services. I agonized over the fact that I could not force myself to have faith, nor were my prayers for it being answered. Eventually, my “friend” disclosed to me that he felt I would go to hell.
After a while, it just got tiring. The religious people I spoke to were no help; they insisted that I should “keep trying.” At some point, I figured that I might brainwash myself into quasi-belief if I persisted, and started wondering why I was trying in the first place.
I suppose I’m not as evolved as some of the atheist/agnostics, here, because I still do pray occasionally. Mostly out of ritualistic superstition. Rationally, of course, I know that it probably has no effect. But, like I said, I’m not as evolved as some of you.
At any rate, I have asked, and the answer seems to be a very firm “Maybe.” I don’t dismiss the notion of God, and I think that personal faith can be very fulfilling and positive. I also think it can be very cruel and hurtful, especially to the “damned” friends and relatives of the convert. [/quote]
Dude I am in the exact same boat as you. I always ask people “How am I supposed to feel the touch of God?” or “How am I supposed to let God into my heart?” and I always get some abstract answer like “You have to listen” or “Come God will, if you call” in some “Yodaesque-speak” and I’m always baffled.
How am I supposed to get in touch with God if there is no concrete method other than prayer or “letting him in?” And sometimes those Christians who bother people on the street (sorry, I don’t know the exact name of them and yes, they bother the hell out of me) ask me if I love God. Am I supposed to?
I mean, currently, my love for God is no more or less than a stranger on the street. How the hell are you supposed to love someone you’ve never met. I’ve tried to “love” and “let him in” but all I’ve felt is emptiness and , quite frankly, I might as well have been praying to Zeus, Galactus, or <insert super-powered, cosmic, omnipotent being here>.
I find this whole religion thing, PRIMARILY Christianity at the moment, to be very questionable. Everybody says everything in the Bible is God’s word yet everytime I discuss something with someone or ask a different person, everyone has a different idea on what a particular passage or central idea really means. From my perspective it seems everybody is interpreting religous principles to conincide with how they’re choosing to live their lives, and not with God’s will, if that’s possible because I think that’s a conundrum in itself.
Just my 2 cents for what their worth.
/end rant