Holy Sex?

Apparently, the biggest incentive for a jihad fighter is loss of virginity.

Well, no we know what to do the next time a war comes around (which should be any day now). If we need new recruits, we are going to need way more Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

Yeah but they need to be married first, or else they go the bad place for unmarried sex when they die right?

I mean how does that work? Where in the Quran does it say that for Jihad, they can get away
for having sex before marriage as long as they are martyrs for their cause?

I thought in Islam you can’t have sexy time with any Woman unless you’re Married.
What the FUCK’S going on here, and where are these ‘‘loopholes’’ in the Quran for this Horseshit?

Chapters and verses please, or whatever the fuck they call it in that book.

I guess the loophole is that now they HAVE to die?

Kind of sucks just to get laid.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
I guess the loophole is that now they HAVE to die?

Kind of sucks just to get laid.[/quote]

75-100 times.

So would they technically be like Praying Mantises, or Black Widows? Sure they don’t eat them when they are done, but they know they are going to die. Maybe ants or bees would be better, since I believe the males bite the biscuit after breeding.

Where is that facepalm meme when you need it?

[quote]Professor X wrote:

Apparently, the biggest incentive for a jihad fighter is loss of virginity.

Well, no we know what to do the next time a war comes around (which should be any day now). If we need new recruits, we are going to need way more Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.[/quote]

Gibbon has a different take. He blames Mohommad and the character of the Arab for the principle decline of the Eastern Roman Empire. Having never been conquered by Trajan, Pompey, Cyrus and barely tamed by the Turks the Arabs of the peninsula are amongst the most warlike people in the world.

“In this primitive and abject state, which ill deserves the name of society, the human brute, without arts or laws, almost without sense or language, is poorly distinguished from the rest of the animal creation…their friendship was venal, their faith inconstant, their enmity capricious: it was an easier task to excite than to disarm these roving barbarians”

Their perpetual independence is superstitiously attributed to their biblical lineage to the line of Ismael. Mohommad preached purgatory lasting from 900 to 7000 years. This hell is reserved for believers all of whom will eventually reach paradise. Accordingly there are seven other hells for disbelievers and idolators who will never reach paradise. These are the themes of the Koran. Paradise is described in sultry terms speaking of virgins(both male and female) as reward for adherence to God.

From the sayings of Mohommad(who was illiterate):

'I offer you, and I alone can offer, the most precious of gifts, the treasures of this world and of the world to come. God has commanded me to call you to his service. Who among you will support my burden? Who among you will be my companion and my vizier?

No answer was returned, till the silence of astonishment, and doubt, and contempt, was at length broken by the impatient courage of Ali, a youth in the fourteenth year of his age.

“O prophet, I am the man: whosoever rises against thee, I will dash out his teeth, tear out his eyes, break his legs, rip up his belly. O prophet, I will be thy vizier over them.”

From the death of Mohommad to this day a schism exists whereby the Shia believe Ali to be the true successor of Mohommad but the Sunni reject this interpretation.

At the time of Mohommad the Arabs worshipped the sun, moon and planets. Mohommad united several powerful tribes and took the city of Mecca. The pilgrimage to Mecca and the black rock(Kaaba) was in existence long before Islam and the pilgrimage predates Islam by thousands of years.

[quote]SexMachine wrote:
At the time of Mohommad the Arabs worshipped the sun, moon and planets. [/quote]

Just like the Romans did at the time of Constantine. In fact, just as Constantine himself did right up until the time he found Jesus.

[quote]Varqanir wrote:

[quote]SexMachine wrote:
At the time of Mohommad the Arabs worshipped the sun, moon and planets. [/quote]

Just like the Romans did at the time of Constantine. In fact, just as Constantine himself did right up until the time he found Jesus. [/quote]

Interestingly there is no evidence that he opposed the ‘Great Persecution’ of Diocletian which he personally witnessed. He also continued to consult soothsayers and bore the pagan priesthood title pontifex maximus throughout his life. After his victory at Milvian Bridge his triumphal arch bore pagan Gods and in 321 he declared that Christians and non-Christians should unite in the worship of the sun in reference to the sun cult of Aurelian. His coinage bore images of the sun. At the dedication of Constantinople he wore the Apollonian sun-rayed diadem and no Christian symbolism was present.


When in Rome, do as the Babylonians. If it looks like Marduk, walks like Marduk, and quacks like Marduk…

[quote]SexMachine wrote:

[quote]Varqanir wrote:

[quote]SexMachine wrote:
At the time of Mohommad the Arabs worshipped the sun, moon and planets. [/quote]

Just like the Romans did at the time of Constantine. In fact, just as Constantine himself did right up until the time he found Jesus. [/quote]

Interestingly there is no evidence that he opposed the ‘Great Persecution’ of Diocletian which he personally witnessed. He also continued to consult soothsayers and bore the pagan priesthood title pontifex maximus throughout his life. After his victory at Milvian Bridge his triumphal arch bore pagan Gods and in 321 he declared that Christians and non-Christians should unite in the worship of the sun in reference to the sun cult of Aurelian. His coinage bore images of the sun. At the dedication of Constantinople he wore the Apollonian sun-rayed diadem and no Christian symbolism was present.[/quote]

Oh, those wacky Romans. Hey, why throw out perfectly good pagan symbols when you can incorporate them into your new state religion? Syncretism makes everybody happy.

[quote]Varqanir wrote:

Oh, those wacky Romans. Hey, why throw out perfectly good pagan symbols when you can incorporate them into your new state religion? Syncretism makes everybody happy.
[/quote]

True. But there’s always a few fanatics to mess things up. The traditional response to forced conversion was to take all your livestock and valuables and then set fire to your own house with you and your family perishing within. This was actually exceedingly common in many eras.

Its funny how getting laid makes you not wanna blow your self up… Maybe these guys should check out the local whore house before they go all jihad…

[quote]Karado wrote:
Yeah but they need to be married first, or else they go the bad place for unmarried sex when they die right?

I mean how does that work? Where in the Quran does it say that for Jihad, they can get away
for having sex before marriage as long as they are martyrs for their cause?

I thought in Islam you can’t have sexy time with any Woman unless you’re Married.
What the FUCK’S going on here, and where are these ‘‘loopholes’’ in the Quran for this Horseshit?

Chapters and verses please, or whatever the fuck they call it in that book.
[/quote]

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]Karado wrote:
Yeah but they need to be married first, or else they go the bad place for unmarried sex when they die right?

I mean how does that work? Where in the Quran does it say that for Jihad, they can get away
for having sex before marriage as long as they are martyrs for their cause?

I thought in Islam you can’t have sexy time with any Woman unless you’re Married.
What the FUCK’S going on here, and where are these ‘‘loopholes’’ in the Quran for this Horseshit?

Chapters and verses please, or whatever the fuck they call it in that book.
[/quote]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikah_mut‘ah[/quote]

Known in our culture as “trial marriage” or “dating”.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
I guess the loophole is that now they HAVE to die?

Kind of sucks just to get laid.[/quote]

Would it be fitting to call them ‘Black Widows’?

What happens if no matter what, you don’t die?

Do you give the pussy back?