Girlfriend Wants to Get Married, Dilemma

Off Topic
301

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Is that it, IH? The 5 essentials? [/quote]

In a very basic sense… maybe.

Replace 1 and 3 with “Respect”, to make the list a little better.

I will say this, though… I don’t know shit about women as a gender… or guys, for that matter. I’ve always focused my attention to “figuring out” the woman i’m interested in… that’s it. My life is complicated enough, without trying to figure out the “whys” and “hows” of what makes women tick. Plus, it’s more fun to sometimes just let life happen. The laws of attraction are that there aren’t always a rhyme or reason you find a person attractive. You could put 10 people in a room that on paper you’re “compatible” with; but, instead are drawn to someone who doesn’t fit your “type”. It happens all the time.

I’ve been through quite a few relationships in my time, lasting anywhere from weeks to one lasting ten years. Marriage was talked about with some of them to certain degrees, but never to the point of buying a ring. Hell, I could barely spend a week straight with anyone, no less live with. The overall compatibility wasn’t there.

When Greeny and I spoke and finally met, I KNEW she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I couldn’t get her ass moved into my place soon enough. We tried to be, and were (to a certain extent) realistic/rational, but we went forward with the whole nine, anyway. She moved in, we got married, then bought her an engagement ring. We’re going on a 12 day cruise to Alaska in June for our honeymoon…

Anyway… The difference between those relationships and Greeny, are like day and night. It just works without a lot of WORK being done. It’s ridiculously easy for the most part. It’s not perfect by any means… but, I know without a doubt that it’s the best and smartest decision I made … probably, ever.

There’s nothing wrong with being single, as marriage isn’t for everyone.

Sorry… I was on a roll… :|[/quote]
Ha! Without a doubt the longest post I’ve ever seen from you.

Almost makes me think that you’re happily married. :wink:
[/quote]
DR;TL

:slight_smile:
[/quote]

Fuck you, Tiger!

Ha ha ha![/quote]
Love ya!

Tbh, I doubt anyone reads my long posts, anyway. I’m better at speaking than I am writing.

Actually, I suck at both… but, whatever :)[/quote]

I always read them! Personally, I like your long posts. I’m always interested in what you have to say.

Back to the list, I agree with replacing “hold doors” with “respect” but think “talk sweetly” should remain, because sweet talk is nice to hear and definitely keeps me happy. :slight_smile:

303

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Is that it, IH? The 5 essentials? [/quote]

In a very basic sense… maybe.

Replace 1 and 3 with “Respect”, to make the list a little better.

I will say this, though… I don’t know shit about women as a gender… or guys, for that matter. I’ve always focused my attention to “figuring out” the woman i’m interested in… that’s it. My life is complicated enough, without trying to figure out the “whys” and “hows” of what makes women tick. Plus, it’s more fun to sometimes just let life happen. The laws of attraction are that there aren’t always a rhyme or reason you find a person attractive. You could put 10 people in a room that on paper you’re “compatible” with; but, instead are drawn to someone who doesn’t fit your “type”. It happens all the time.

I’ve been through quite a few relationships in my time, lasting anywhere from weeks to one lasting ten years. Marriage was talked about with some of them to certain degrees, but never to the point of buying a ring. Hell, I could barely spend a week straight with anyone, no less live with. The overall compatibility wasn’t there.

When Greeny and I spoke and finally met, I KNEW she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I couldn’t get her ass moved into my place soon enough. We tried to be, and were (to a certain extent) realistic/rational, but we went forward with the whole nine, anyway. She moved in, we got married, then bought her an engagement ring. We’re going on a 12 day cruise to Alaska in June for our honeymoon…

Anyway… The difference between those relationships and Greeny, are like day and night. It just works without a lot of WORK being done. It’s ridiculously easy for the most part. It’s not perfect by any means… but, I know without a doubt that it’s the best and smartest decision I made … probably, ever.

There’s nothing wrong with being single, as marriage isn’t for everyone.

Sorry… I was on a roll… :|[/quote]
Ha! Without a doubt the longest post I’ve ever seen from you.

Almost makes me think that you’re happily married. :wink:
[/quote]
DR;TL

:slight_smile:
[/quote]

Fuck you, Tiger!

Ha ha ha![/quote]
Love ya!

Tbh, I doubt anyone reads my long posts, anyway. I’m better at speaking than I am writing.

Actually, I suck at both… but, whatever :)[/quote]

I always read them! Personally, I like your long posts. I’m always interested in what you have to say.

Back to the list, I agree with replacing “hold doors” with “respect” but think “talk sweetly” should remain, because sweet talk is nice to hear and definitely keeps me happy. :)[/quote]

Ha!

Some feminist you are!

:wink:
[/quote]

Hey, bra-burning, penis-hating, buzz-cut wearing butch women like to hear how pretty they are, too! lol

304

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Is that it, IH? The 5 essentials? [/quote]

In a very basic sense… maybe.

Replace 1 and 3 with “Respect”, to make the list a little better.

I will say this, though… I don’t know shit about women as a gender… or guys, for that matter. I’ve always focused my attention to “figuring out” the woman i’m interested in… that’s it. My life is complicated enough, without trying to figure out the “whys” and “hows” of what makes women tick. Plus, it’s more fun to sometimes just let life happen. The laws of attraction are that there aren’t always a rhyme or reason you find a person attractive. You could put 10 people in a room that on paper you’re “compatible” with; but, instead are drawn to someone who doesn’t fit your “type”. It happens all the time.

I’ve been through quite a few relationships in my time, lasting anywhere from weeks to one lasting ten years. Marriage was talked about with some of them to certain degrees, but never to the point of buying a ring. Hell, I could barely spend a week straight with anyone, no less live with. The overall compatibility wasn’t there.

When Greeny and I spoke and finally met, I KNEW she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I couldn’t get her ass moved into my place soon enough. We tried to be, and were (to a certain extent) realistic/rational, but we went forward with the whole nine, anyway. She moved in, we got married, then bought her an engagement ring. We’re going on a 12 day cruise to Alaska in June for our honeymoon…

Anyway… The difference between those relationships and Greeny, are like day and night. It just works without a lot of WORK being done. It’s ridiculously easy for the most part. It’s not perfect by any means… but, I know without a doubt that it’s the best and smartest decision I made … probably, ever.

There’s nothing wrong with being single, as marriage isn’t for everyone.

Sorry… I was on a roll… :|[/quote]

Wow, turning a bit DBCooper there, IH!

Lol.

For someone like me who doesn’t believe in things like marriage and relationships, you’re almost had me 1% converted with this.

Great post.

305

[quote]Grneyes wrote:
I think people see “feminist” and think bra-burning, penis-hating, buzz-cut wearing butch women. We’re not. [/quote]

306

“Love only exists for a brief period before marraige. After that its like hanging out with someone who kind of hates you but you cant get it together to leave” - Homer J Simpson

308

[quote]jewishthunder wrote:
Hey so my girlfriend of 5 years whom I love very much is really pushing to get married. Yesterday. That kind of pressure. Keep in mind we are both 24. Have had some ups and downs in our relationship. We share a dog, apartment and a lot of other random shit. Not that that really matters in this.

To those who have been in the situation of not wanting to get married, what’s the play here. It has gotten to the point of an ultimatum almost of marry her or be single.

I just don’t want to get married right now. It’s not her, it’s just the activity. I don’t wanna.

TL:DR GF of 5 years wants to get married ASAP, I don’t. Thoughts?[/quote]

24 = lots of time left. If she can’t wait a year or so for things to get settled, then she has some issues. I’d stick to what is right for you and wait a bit. If she can’t accept that, then she can leave. Marraige should happen when both people are ready, not due to some ultimatum.

309

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]pushharder wrote:
Em, I think it would behoove you to reconsider whether you really are a “feminist” or if it’s just something in vogue to say.[/quote]

Oh, I definitely am a feminist…

[/quote]

What is a “feminist,” Em?[/quote]

Merriam-Webster defines it as

[quote]1 : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
2 : organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests[/quote]

I’m very comfortable with that definition. I think the first would be closest to my own view of it, simply a movement that espouses equality, while the second, which implies “special interest group” is probably how you view it.

The movement is made up of people and has been for some 300 years now. Some of them are bitter man-haters, some are good-natured women like me. The pro-men’s groups are full of bitter shrieking zealots, too, but that doesn’t make their push for equal time with their children wrong, and they’ve done some good in pushing back at women’s groups to prevent abuses. An example is that they’ve successfully changed much of the wording and intent of the Violence Against Women Act.

I don’t let the most outspoken members of any group define the group for me because those people are typically zealots. Feminism as I identify with it seeks equal educational, political, and financial participation for women. It also seeks to protect women from various social problems, including intimate partner abuse and impoverishment should a “traditional” (i.e. male breadwinner) relationship go south.

What do you think it is, Push?

[/quote]

I would have to concur with your definition.

Do you think that “equal educational, political, and financial participation for women” is something that does not yet fully exist (in the US & Canada)? Does the “organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests” need to continue and if so, why?
[/quote]

I’m not sure, Push. I’m interested in the social aspects of things like feminism, the who-thinks-what-and-why of it all, so I would be speaking out of my ass about policy and its continued need or purpose. (Even more than usual.) Feminism is messy, in that there are a thousand different voices screaming a thousand different things. Hard to separate out the valid from the invalid. There are certainly elements of both in the movement.

So again, I don’t know.

310

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Is that it, IH? The 5 essentials? [/quote]

In a very basic sense… maybe.

Replace 1 and 3 with “Respect”, to make the list a little better.

I will say this, though… I don’t know shit about women as a gender… or guys, for that matter. I’ve always focused my attention to “figuring out” the woman i’m interested in… that’s it. My life is complicated enough, without trying to figure out the “whys” and “hows” of what makes women tick. Plus, it’s more fun to sometimes just let life happen. The laws of attraction are that there aren’t always a rhyme or reason you find a person attractive. You could put 10 people in a room that on paper you’re “compatible” with; but, instead are drawn to someone who doesn’t fit your “type”. It happens all the time.

I’ve been through quite a few relationships in my time, lasting anywhere from weeks to one lasting ten years. Marriage was talked about with some of them to certain degrees, but never to the point of buying a ring. Hell, I could barely spend a week straight with anyone, no less live with. The overall compatibility wasn’t there.

When Greeny and I spoke and finally met, I KNEW she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I couldn’t get her ass moved into my place soon enough. We tried to be, and were (to a certain extent) realistic/rational, but we went forward with the whole nine, anyway. She moved in, we got married, then bought her an engagement ring. We’re going on a 12 day cruise to Alaska in June for our honeymoon…

Anyway… The difference between those relationships and Greeny, are like day and night. It just works without a lot of WORK being done. It’s ridiculously easy for the most part. It’s not perfect by any means… but, I know without a doubt that it’s the best and smartest decision I made … probably, ever.

There’s nothing wrong with being single, as marriage isn’t for everyone.

Sorry… I was on a roll… :|[/quote]
Ha! Without a doubt the longest post I’ve ever seen from you.

Almost makes me think that you’re happily married. :wink:
[/quote]
DR;TL

:slight_smile:
[/quote]

Fuck you, Tiger!

Ha ha ha![/quote]
Love ya!

Tbh, I doubt anyone reads my long posts, anyway. I’m better at speaking than I am writing.

Actually, I suck at both… but, whatever :)[/quote]

I always read them! Personally, I like your long posts. I’m always interested in what you have to say.

Back to the list, I agree with replacing “hold doors” with “respect” but think “talk sweetly” should remain, because sweet talk is nice to hear and definitely keeps me happy. :)[/quote]

Thanks Em :slight_smile:

You have to make sure you don’t sweet talk TOO much… Otherwise, they might think you actually care about them. Or, want something. Either/or. j/k

311

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Is that it, IH? The 5 essentials? [/quote]

In a very basic sense… maybe.

Replace 1 and 3 with “Respect”, to make the list a little better.

I will say this, though… I don’t know shit about women as a gender… or guys, for that matter. I’ve always focused my attention to “figuring out” the woman i’m interested in… that’s it. My life is complicated enough, without trying to figure out the “whys” and “hows” of what makes women tick. Plus, it’s more fun to sometimes just let life happen. The laws of attraction are that there aren’t always a rhyme or reason you find a person attractive. You could put 10 people in a room that on paper you’re “compatible” with; but, instead are drawn to someone who doesn’t fit your “type”. It happens all the time.

I’ve been through quite a few relationships in my time, lasting anywhere from weeks to one lasting ten years. Marriage was talked about with some of them to certain degrees, but never to the point of buying a ring. Hell, I could barely spend a week straight with anyone, no less live with. The overall compatibility wasn’t there.

When Greeny and I spoke and finally met, I KNEW she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I couldn’t get her ass moved into my place soon enough. We tried to be, and were (to a certain extent) realistic/rational, but we went forward with the whole nine, anyway. She moved in, we got married, then bought her an engagement ring. We’re going on a 12 day cruise to Alaska in June for our honeymoon…

Anyway… The difference between those relationships and Greeny, are like day and night. It just works without a lot of WORK being done. It’s ridiculously easy for the most part. It’s not perfect by any means… but, I know without a doubt that it’s the best and smartest decision I made … probably, ever.

There’s nothing wrong with being single, as marriage isn’t for everyone.

Sorry… I was on a roll… :|[/quote]
Ha! Without a doubt the longest post I’ve ever seen from you.

Almost makes me think that you’re happily married. :wink:
[/quote]
DR;TL

:slight_smile:
[/quote]

Fuck you, Tiger!

Ha ha ha![/quote]
Love ya!

Tbh, I doubt anyone reads my long posts, anyway. I’m better at speaking than I am writing.

Actually, I suck at both… but, whatever :)[/quote]

I always read them! Personally, I like your long posts. I’m always interested in what you have to say.

Back to the list, I agree with replacing “hold doors” with “respect” but think “talk sweetly” should remain, because sweet talk is nice to hear and definitely keeps me happy. :)[/quote]

Thanks Em :slight_smile:

You have to make sure you don’t sweet talk TOO much… Otherwise, they might think you actually care about them. Or, want something. Either/or. j/k[/quote]

Half your stuff!!!

312

[quote]DarkNinjaa wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Is that it, IH? The 5 essentials? [/quote]

In a very basic sense… maybe.

Replace 1 and 3 with “Respect”, to make the list a little better.

I will say this, though… I don’t know shit about women as a gender… or guys, for that matter. I’ve always focused my attention to “figuring out” the woman i’m interested in… that’s it. My life is complicated enough, without trying to figure out the “whys” and “hows” of what makes women tick. Plus, it’s more fun to sometimes just let life happen. The laws of attraction are that there aren’t always a rhyme or reason you find a person attractive. You could put 10 people in a room that on paper you’re “compatible” with; but, instead are drawn to someone who doesn’t fit your “type”. It happens all the time.

I’ve been through quite a few relationships in my time, lasting anywhere from weeks to one lasting ten years. Marriage was talked about with some of them to certain degrees, but never to the point of buying a ring. Hell, I could barely spend a week straight with anyone, no less live with. The overall compatibility wasn’t there.

When Greeny and I spoke and finally met, I KNEW she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I couldn’t get her ass moved into my place soon enough. We tried to be, and were (to a certain extent) realistic/rational, but we went forward with the whole nine, anyway. She moved in, we got married, then bought her an engagement ring. We’re going on a 12 day cruise to Alaska in June for our honeymoon…

Anyway… The difference between those relationships and Greeny, are like day and night. It just works without a lot of WORK being done. It’s ridiculously easy for the most part. It’s not perfect by any means… but, I know without a doubt that it’s the best and smartest decision I made … probably, ever.

There’s nothing wrong with being single, as marriage isn’t for everyone.

Sorry… I was on a roll… :|[/quote]

Wow, turning a bit DBCooper there, IH!

Lol.

For someone like me who doesn’t believe in things like marriage and relationships, you’re almost had me 1% converted with this.

Great post.[/quote]
I guess I should’ve added some “slit her throats”, “anal raped with a glass-encrusted bat”, and RAPEAXE!!!, huh?

1%? That’s a start! It takes time to chip away anything worthwhile at those walls you’ve put up :slight_smile:

313

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Is that it, IH? The 5 essentials? [/quote]

In a very basic sense… maybe.

Replace 1 and 3 with “Respect”, to make the list a little better.

I will say this, though… I don’t know shit about women as a gender… or guys, for that matter. I’ve always focused my attention to “figuring out” the woman i’m interested in… that’s it. My life is complicated enough, without trying to figure out the “whys” and “hows” of what makes women tick. Plus, it’s more fun to sometimes just let life happen. The laws of attraction are that there aren’t always a rhyme or reason you find a person attractive. You could put 10 people in a room that on paper you’re “compatible” with; but, instead are drawn to someone who doesn’t fit your “type”. It happens all the time.

I’ve been through quite a few relationships in my time, lasting anywhere from weeks to one lasting ten years. Marriage was talked about with some of them to certain degrees, but never to the point of buying a ring. Hell, I could barely spend a week straight with anyone, no less live with. The overall compatibility wasn’t there.

When Greeny and I spoke and finally met, I KNEW she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I couldn’t get her ass moved into my place soon enough. We tried to be, and were (to a certain extent) realistic/rational, but we went forward with the whole nine, anyway. She moved in, we got married, then bought her an engagement ring. We’re going on a 12 day cruise to Alaska in June for our honeymoon…

Anyway… The difference between those relationships and Greeny, are like day and night. It just works without a lot of WORK being done. It’s ridiculously easy for the most part. It’s not perfect by any means… but, I know without a doubt that it’s the best and smartest decision I made … probably, ever.

There’s nothing wrong with being single, as marriage isn’t for everyone.

Sorry… I was on a roll… :|[/quote]
Ha! Without a doubt the longest post I’ve ever seen from you.

Almost makes me think that you’re happily married. :wink:
[/quote]
DR;TL

:slight_smile:
[/quote]

Fuck you, Tiger!

Ha ha ha![/quote]
Love ya!

Tbh, I doubt anyone reads my long posts, anyway. I’m better at speaking than I am writing.

Actually, I suck at both… but, whatever :)[/quote]

I always read them! Personally, I like your long posts. I’m always interested in what you have to say.

Back to the list, I agree with replacing “hold doors” with “respect” but think “talk sweetly” should remain, because sweet talk is nice to hear and definitely keeps me happy. :)[/quote]

Thanks Em :slight_smile:

You have to make sure you don’t sweet talk TOO much… Otherwise, they might think you actually care about them. Or, want something. Either/or. j/k[/quote]

Half your stuff!!! [/quote]
That shit ain’t funny, Em!!

315

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]pushharder wrote:
Em, I think it would behoove you to reconsider whether you really are a “feminist” or if it’s just something in vogue to say.[/quote]

Oh, I definitely am a feminist. I’m adaptable and would probably thrive under most any system, but not all women are like me. I think there should be options and protections for women who can’t or don’t want to please a man in order to live well. That my particular personality and leanings would be workable under a more traditional system does not make that system the right one for everyone.

Too, I appreciate so much the things Cortes has noted that Japanese women enjoy in Western men. Thanks feminism! I don’t feel myself in competition with men, and certainly not in my intimate relationships. I prefer to be beloved. I do like feeling like a partner, though.

Lastly, I work. I don’t want to be disadvantaged by my gender in that arena.

My point in posting a lot of what I do is that I AM feminist, but am also feminine and like masculine men. There are a lot of women out there just like me. Not trying to emasculate, not trying to compete, not following any agenda at all beyond finding someone compatible to love and build a home with.

You don’t hear much from them because they’re generally content. Similar to the people who divorce well. There’s not a lot of motivation to write giant screeds on “meh, it kinda sucked, but we both tried to be reasonable and now we’re friends-ish.”

[/quote]

Most people have no understanding of the principles of true “feminism” (equality).

It’s a pity that the majority of people who don’t know what feminism is tend to be women.

316

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]pushharder wrote:
Em, I think it would behoove you to reconsider whether you really are a “feminist” or if it’s just something in vogue to say.[/quote]

Oh, I definitely am a feminist…

[/quote]

What is a “feminist,” Em?[/quote]

Merriam-Webster defines it as

[quote]1 : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
2 : organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests[/quote]

I’m very comfortable with that definition. I think the first would be closest to my own view of it, simply a movement that espouses equality, while the second, which implies “special interest group” is probably how you view it.

The movement is made up of people and has been for some 300 years now. Some of them are bitter man-haters, some are good-natured women like me. The pro-men’s groups are full of bitter shrieking zealots, too, but that doesn’t make their push for equal time with their children wrong, and they’ve done some good in pushing back at women’s groups to prevent abuses. An example is that they’ve successfully changed much of the wording and intent of the Violence Against Women Act.

I don’t let the most outspoken members of any group define the group for me because those people are typically zealots. Feminism as I identify with it seeks equal educational, political, and financial participation for women. It also seeks to protect women from various social problems, including intimate partner abuse and impoverishment should a “traditional” (i.e. male breadwinner) relationship go south.

What do you think it is, Push?

[/quote]

I would have to concur with your definition.

Do you think that “equal educational, political, and financial participation for women” is something that does not yet fully exist (in the US & Canada)? Does the “organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests” need to continue and if so, why?
[/quote]

I’m not sure, Push. I’m interested in the social aspects of things like feminism, the who-thinks-what-and-why of it all, so I would be speaking out of my ass about policy and its continued need or purpose. (Even more than usual.) Feminism is messy, in that there are a thousand different voices screaming a thousand different things. Hard to separate out the valid from the invalid. There are certainly elements of both in the movement.

So again, I don’t know. [/quote]

Well then Em, we seem to have a problem. You know what feminism is. You are a feminist. But you don’t know if the goals of feminism and its “continued need or purpose” is necessary.

I don’t get it.[/quote]

Shouldn’t a self-proclaimed “-ist” have some concrete ideas about the wrongs her “-ist” exists to right?

The men’s movement is pretty clear on these: Marriage and divorce law inequality, (massive) child custody law disparity, our perception in society as helpless, needy dummies when really the opposite is for the most part true, among other stuff we’ve been talking alot about here recently.

So what continued institutionalized discrimination do women still suffer, specifically?

317

[quote]Makavali wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]pushharder wrote:
Em, I think it would behoove you to reconsider whether you really are a “feminist” or if it’s just something in vogue to say.[/quote]

Oh, I definitely am a feminist. I’m adaptable and would probably thrive under most any system, but not all women are like me. I think there should be options and protections for women who can’t or don’t want to please a man in order to live well. That my particular personality and leanings would be workable under a more traditional system does not make that system the right one for everyone.

Too, I appreciate so much the things Cortes has noted that Japanese women enjoy in Western men. Thanks feminism! I don’t feel myself in competition with men, and certainly not in my intimate relationships. I prefer to be beloved. I do like feeling like a partner, though.

Lastly, I work. I don’t want to be disadvantaged by my gender in that arena.

My point in posting a lot of what I do is that I AM feminist, but am also feminine and like masculine men. There are a lot of women out there just like me. Not trying to emasculate, not trying to compete, not following any agenda at all beyond finding someone compatible to love and build a home with.

You don’t hear much from them because they’re generally content. Similar to the people who divorce well. There’s not a lot of motivation to write giant screeds on “meh, it kinda sucked, but we both tried to be reasonable and now we’re friends-ish.”

[/quote]

Most people have no understanding of the principles of true “feminism” (equality).

It’s a pity that the majority of people who don’t know what feminism is tend to be women.[/quote]

I think part of the problem is that “feminism” is a terrible name for feminism, if the ultimate goal is across the board equality.

We wouldn’t dream of calling a movement aimed at racial equality “blackism.”

319

[quote]Cortes wrote:
I think part of the problem is that “feminism” is a terrible name for feminism, if the ultimate goal is across the board equality.

We wouldn’t dream of calling a movement aimed at racial equality “blackism.”[/quote]

I agree, but I also think the name was apt when it was first used to label people trying to get equal rights for women.

But you’re right - it’s not a helpful label to use now.