[quote]Rattler wrote:
Vicomte wrote:
Rattler wrote:
Whatever dude, at least you’re not me.
During the first BJ I ever got, I dropped a big stanky bomb. In retrospect, it’s funny as hell.
Did he pause or just keep on plugging?
K, HE paused.
Then he gave me a weird look… The sound of the phone ringing at the exact same time drowned out the sound, but not the smell. When he came back, the smell was gone… Lucky me… But deep down… he knew
Needless to say, I never did get the rest of my bj from that guy.
Still, funny as hell. Especially if I could show you a pic of the face he gave me.[/quote]
Not sure of the science behind this, but everytime I eat an apple, granny smith’s seem to work best, I can burp like a champ. Couple this apple with a DP or root beer, and you have greatness. They’re so full and rich I can’t stand it.
Sir’s, permit this humble young man to hijack this tread. YOU SIRS are writing a piece of epic history on the internet. It’s exquisite the way such high class gentleman can write simultaneously about sex, farts, burps, beer and random soft-drinks. I feel honoured in such situations that yes, I’m a T-man.
Translation of the above for non T-man:
In a few words this tread is funny as hell. I love it XD
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
Rattler wrote:
Vicomte wrote:
Rattler wrote:
Whatever dude, at least you’re not me.
During the first BJ I ever got, I dropped a big stanky bomb. In retrospect, it’s funny as hell.
Did he pause or just keep on plugging?
K, HE paused.
Then he gave me a weird look… The sound of the phone ringing at the exact same time drowned out the sound, but not the smell. When he came back, the smell was gone… Lucky me… But deep down… he knew
Needless to say, I never did get the rest of my bj from that guy.
Still, funny as hell. Especially if I could show you a pic of the face he gave me.
Me and the girl were getting ready to try anal for the first time; So I start off, get her relaxed with a light massage, and start to warm up the general area. I put one finger in, she seems to like it, and shortly after she’s like “uhh… I don’t want to ruin the mood or anything but…”
Put two and two together. She went and done her thing, came back and I went right back to it. Turned out fairly well in retrospect; we still laugh about it all the time.
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
Rattler wrote:
Vicomte wrote:
Rattler wrote:
Whatever dude, at least you’re not me.
During the first BJ I ever got, I dropped a big stanky bomb. In retrospect, it’s funny as hell.
Did he pause or just keep on plugging?
K, HE paused.
Then he gave me a weird look… The sound of the phone ringing at the exact same time drowned out the sound, but not the smell. When he came back, the smell was gone… Lucky me… But deep down… he knew
Needless to say, I never did get the rest of my bj from that guy.
Still, funny as hell. Especially if I could show you a pic of the face he gave me.
I’ll have to ask my massage therapist what her fart protocol is. We’ve been best friends for 20 years and have discussed a lot of funny massage incidents, but somehow managed to overlook this one. Now I have to know!
I must have been raised right; I’ll egg men on when they start belching or farting. My father made belching and farting into an art that’s unbeaten to this day. I think it was a real source of pride.
Last humorous fart incident: BJJ class. Everyone is in a big circle banging out crunches in unison. We go around the circle and each person has to count 10 reps out loud, then the next person and so on and so forth around the circle. So it’s this one guys turn to lead and as he’s counting out reps he lets fly with a huge explosive fart.
He pauses and there is dead silence. All eyes are on me. I’m the lone girl in class. So I said. “Good job!” and started applauding, and everyone fell over laughing!
Oh, and anybody who has ever had IBS knows better than to trust a fart!
