[quote]bushidobadboy wrote:
You think that’s bad?
I had a massage on the beach, from a toothless old Thai mamma and when I had to turn over, I had a semi on.
Hearing her and her co-workers chuckle to each other was preeety embarrassing.
BBB[/quote]
I had the same thing happen, except she was hot and it wasn’t a semi.
Also, having to piss really bad while getting a massage sucks. I’m not gonna ask them to stop, get dressed, leave, pee, come back, get undressed, etc. Holding it sucks.
Pee in her mouth? Ok that was a stupid comment.
my buddies wife was giving him a message while sitting on his back in her underwear. she sharted and got his back wet
[quote]Artem wrote:
bushidobadboy wrote:
You think that’s bad?
I had a massage on the beach, from a toothless old Thai mamma and when I had to turn over, I had a semi on.
Hearing her and her co-workers chuckle to each other was preeety embarrassing.
BBB
I had the same thing happen, except she was hot and it wasn’t a semi.
Also, having to piss really bad while getting a massage sucks. I’m not gonna ask them to stop, get dressed, leave, pee, come back, get undressed, etc. Holding it sucks.
[/quote]
What happened with the hard on? everytime I get a massage theres about 20 minutes of it when I’m so tense trying to get it to go down, it kind of ruins the massage. The only solution I can think of is to go to places with happy endings.
hahahaha that was great! ’
One thing though…having to fart while having sex, thats the worst for me.
Oh and I stand behind Barq’s the burps from it are on another level
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
I knew this one would be good.[/quote]
Me thinks this debate might replace the pancakes vs waffles thread.
[quote]matt74 wrote:
my buddies wife was giving him a message while sitting on his back in her underwear. she sharted and got his back wet[/quote]
This post. For. The. Win.
That’s grossly hilarious.
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
bushidobadboy wrote:
You think that’s bad?
I had a massage on the beach, from a toothless old Thai mamma and when I had to turn over, I had a semi on.
Hearing her and her co-workers chuckle to each other was preeety embarrassing.
BBB
Shoot, I had a gynecologist fart during a breast exam. That was uncomfortable.[/quote]
It would be even more uncomfortable if you were the one doing the examining.
[quote]Strength/power wrote:
hahahaha that was great! ’
One thing though…having to fart while having sex, thats the worst for me.
Oh and I stand behind Barq’s the burps from it are on another level[/quote]
I actually love farting while sex, shows my dominance. I can do whatever I want and she will accept it lol
[quote]Professor X wrote:
B rocK wrote:
wtf is the protocol with that?
That depends. There are generally a very few select responses.
a) let one loose and then yell, “holy shit you ARE relaxing!!”
b) Let one loose and start crying. When she asks what’s wrong, say, “my uncle touched me there too!”
c) Hold it in and then let it out in small bursts every time you cough. Then, for that last long one, say, “exccuuuuuuuuuuuse me”.
d) Ask her if she farted, then, while she is saying, “No”, let it rip. That should confuse her enough until the smell hits.
[/quote]
Now that is funny!
Whatever dude, at least you’re not me.
During the first BJ I ever got, I dropped a big stanky bomb. In retrospect, it’s funny as hell.
I read the beginning of this thread at work today. After work I was scheduled for my FIRST MASSAGE EVER.
Thanks for putting this in my head. You suck.
On the bright side, the RMT guy is gifted and I think I love him. At the very least I may start to stalk him. I can practically still feels his fingers digging into my glutes. mmmmmmmm.
Prof x…
RJ…
Is that it?
My burp was the BIG BANG.
Better believe it.
Barqs is CRAZY for burps… Dr. Pepper is a close second though… 
[quote]Airtruth wrote:
Artem wrote:
bushidobadboy wrote:
You think that’s bad?
I had a massage on the beach, from a toothless old Thai mamma and when I had to turn over, I had a semi on.
Hearing her and her co-workers chuckle to each other was preeety embarrassing.
BBB
I had the same thing happen, except she was hot and it wasn’t a semi.
Also, having to piss really bad while getting a massage sucks. I’m not gonna ask them to stop, get dressed, leave, pee, come back, get undressed, etc. Holding it sucks.
What happened with the hard on? everytime I get a massage theres about 20 minutes of it when I’m so tense trying to get it to go down, it kind of ruins the massage. The only solution I can think of is to go to places with happy endings.
[/quote]
She said flip over. I’m like… you sure? ok… I sorta tried to bend my knee and put one leg up to cover it up for a second, but then I’m like fuck it, she brought this upon herself. It looked awesome with the white cover draping over it. I had a rapist grin on my face and it got worse when I saw her facial expression.
It went down pretty soon after that though.
What about farting during a prostate exam?
[quote]Rattler wrote:
Whatever dude, at least you’re not me.
During the first BJ I ever got, I dropped a big stanky bomb. In retrospect, it’s funny as hell.[/quote]
Did he pause or just keep on plugging?
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
Rattler wrote:
Whatever dude, at least you’re not me.
During the first BJ I ever got, I dropped a big stanky bomb. In retrospect, it’s funny as hell.
Did he pause or just keep on plugging?[/quote]
Rotten…
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
Rattler wrote:
Whatever dude, at least you’re not me.
During the first BJ I ever got, I dropped a big stanky bomb. In retrospect, it’s funny as hell.
Did he pause or just keep on plugging?[/quote]
K, SHE paused.
Then she gave me a weird look… The sound of the phone ringing at the exact same time drowned out the sound, but not the smell. When she came back, the smell was gone… Lucky me… But deep down… she knew 
Needless to say, I never did get the rest of my bj from that girl.
Still, funny as hell. Especially if I could show you a pic of the face she gave me.
I’m gonna have to go with IBC over Barq’s and The Doctor…
I also busted ass during a BJ back in high school. We were sitting in an empty parking lot in my car. I was holding and holding it until I couldn’t anymore…so I let it slip out. I coughed to blend the sound a bit…but then started to think “what if it smells?”
So I slowly and quietly opened my car door and fanned fresh air in. She didn’t stop for a second; and i was dying laughing on the inside.
…oh yeah; and no…no happy ending. not even a slight pudgy during it.