Getting Married for the Benefits?

Off Topic
21

[quote]jchenky wrote:
I truely value marriage, and feel that people take it extremely lightly these days. [/quote]

This is a common response I get from women, but even setting aside my personal feelings about marriage, ostensibly marriage is just a ritualization of something that is already there, namely love and inseparable commitment.

If the meaning to the ritual isn’t there, isn’t it just filling out paperwork and saying some empty words? I don’t see how that would marginalize the commitment itself.

It’s my opinion that people just don’t take commitment seriously these days, which I certainly do.

22

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Dude, do you plan on screwing anyone else during this fake marriage? Good luck on keeping that under wraps. You can’t even resist telling the entire internet about your plans. All it takes is one person with an agenda to tell on you.

Sleeping around when married is frowned upon greatly in the military…especially if you sleep with another soldier who isn’t your wife.[/quote]

True, true. But I guess I feel like the internet has some semblance of anonymity, though maybe I’m naive in that regard. Plus, I haven’t actually done the act.

Still, you have a point–it would be a lot of effort keeping it under wraps and a lot of risk sitting at the end of it if I was indeed caught.

So swingers are not approved of in the military?

23

yah i would just look at the paper work and it should list any stipulations about the marriage

but as you said i can’t imagine it could stipulate anything more than “this marriage cannot be for the express purpose of obtaining military benefits”

i also find it weird that ppl are being “caught” for this

24

[quote]Fiction wrote:
So swingers are not approved of in the military?[/quote]

Not officially…but She Say and I sure as hell have a lot of swinger friends in the military…maybe it’s just where we live.

25

You are assuming that the pre-nuptial agreement would actually be able to shield you from losing assets acquired during the marriage. This varies from state to state, and I have no idea what would be involved in a military context. There are such things as invalid contracts. This is the kind of thing you ought to check out with a good lawyer.

And yes, you could be prosecuted for fraud.

26

[quote]HotCarl28 wrote:
yah i would just look at the paper work and it should list any stipulations about the marriage

but as you said i can’t imagine it could stipulate anything more than “this marriage cannot be for the express purpose of obtaining military benefits”

i also find it weird that ppl are being “caught” for this[/quote]

How is it weird? If you are basically just roommates with a girl who happens to be in the military, don’t you think you are simply one bad argument from the cat being let out of the bag?

Do you realize you would have to lie to your friends and maybe even your family to keep this covered well?

If you do sleep around, do you expect the other chick to keep quiet?

If so, I would have to say, “Hotcarl28, welcome to reality”.

27

No. I saw a guy go to captain’s mast and get reduced in rank, restriction to ship, and reduction in pay for sleeping with another sailor’s wife.

28

[quote]sen say wrote:
No one can argue you out of how you feel regaring a moral issue. You’ve already come to your conclusion. Any arguments you throw up that we refute…you will come up with another argument.[/quote]

So people have never changed their minds about a moral issue in the course of human history? That seems like a pretty silly claim.

I am open to changing my mind, if we come at this with the same assumptions, all it would take is for you to demonstrate that either my premisses are wrong, the inferences from my premisses to my conclusion are invalid, or I am lacking important information that would add to the argument that I am currently not aware of and that would undermine my argument.

Of course, there may be some assumptions in both of our reasoning that may be hidden, but hopefully through the process of discussion those will be uncovered and we can talk about them.

That cognitive biases exist has been proven, but that no one’s mind can be changed regarding a moral issue…I dunno about that.

That wasn’t what he was talking about at all. I expressed my opinion that the government shouldn’t be supplying those types of benefits in the first place, and I was disputing that people “need” them. I just knew it wasn’t true.

I apologize if I came off as aggressive.

I disagree. I didn’t see anything that applied to this paritcular situation. Indeed, I think that TC might even support this perspective. From the original “T-Man Defined” (http://www.T-Nation.com/article/atomic_dog/tman_defined):

He doesn’t bow to authority and occasionally even breaks inane laws…He probably leans more to a libertarian ideal, believing that government should help where it can but otherwise stay the hell out of his business.

My father, my first scoutmaster, Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Sowell, Harry Frankfurt, John Searle, and maybe Milton Friedman. Of course, those are the real ones, I have a number of fictitious and mythological heroes.

29

[quote]Professor X wrote:
HotCarl28 wrote:
yah i would just look at the paper work and it should list any stipulations about the marriage

but as you said i can’t imagine it could stipulate anything more than “this marriage cannot be for the express purpose of obtaining military benefits”

i also find it weird that ppl are being “caught” for this

How is it weird? If you are basically just roommates with a girl who happens to be in the military, don’t you think you are simply one bad argument from the cat being let out of the bag?

Do you realize you would have to lie to your friends and maybe even your family to keep this covered well?

If you do sleep around, do you expect the other chick to keep quiet?

If so, I would have to say, “Hotcarl28, welcome to reality”.[/quote]

well the point is i dont know the stipulations the military sets, but if it was as i said, the only one of ur points that seems valid is the one about ur friends not expressly stating that the marriage was done in order to obtain legal benefits

as op stated marriage has different meanings to dif ppl so i dont see how a solid argument against their “kind” of marriage could be made

i am unaware of the legalities of sleeping around while ur married… does this nullify the marriage? I was under the impression that one party had to initiate the divorce…

if his wife doesn’t care then no divorce will be initiated

as for friends i suppose that is a risk but who’s friends are going to tell on them… i guess this is the part i find weird

30

[quote]Fiction wrote:
My father, my first scoutmaster, Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Sowell, Harry Frankfurt, John Searle, and maybe Milton Friedman. Of course, those are the real ones, I have a number of fictitious and mythological heroes.[/quote]

Okay…call your dad…see what he has to say…then call your scoutmaster…what do you think they’ll tell you?

31

[quote]HotCarl28 wrote:
Professor X wrote:
HotCarl28 wrote:
yah i would just look at the paper work and it should list any stipulations about the marriage

but as you said i can’t imagine it could stipulate anything more than “this marriage cannot be for the express purpose of obtaining military benefits”

i also find it weird that ppl are being “caught” for this

How is it weird? If you are basically just roommates with a girl who happens to be in the military, don’t you think you are simply one bad argument from the cat being let out of the bag?

Do you realize you would have to lie to your friends and maybe even your family to keep this covered well?

If you do sleep around, do you expect the other chick to keep quiet?

If so, I would have to say, “Hotcarl28, welcome to reality”.

well the point is i dont know the stipulations the military sets, but if it was as i said, the only one of ur points that seems valid is the one about ur friends not expressly stating that the marriage was done in order to obtain legal benefits

as op stated marriage has different meanings to dif ppl so i dont see how a solid argument against their “kind” of marriage could be made

i am unaware of the legalities of sleeping around while ur married… does this nullify the marriage? I was under the impression that one party had to initiate the divorce…

if his wife doesn’t care then no divorce will be initiated

as for friends i suppose that is a risk but who’s friends are going to tell on them… i guess this is the part i find weird[/quote]

Uhm, sleeping around with married people in the military can mean a court martial or a reduction in rank…which will cause far more financial problems than simply not being married.

The stories are rampant. Captains busted down to first Lt. or worse because they slept with another soldier’s wife while they were deployed. This shit is not taken lightly. Not to mention the fact that gossip on military bases is WORSE than high school.

Again, this is being told to you by people who have been there so I am not sure why some of you seem so resistant to this info.

Wanting it to be so won’t make it that way. Living a dream where no one ever finds out may just work…if both of you are celibate and have your tongues removed.

32

[quote]Professor X wrote:
If you are basically just roommates with a girl who happens to be in the military, don’t you think you are simply one bad argument from the cat being let out of the bag?[/quote]

I don’t think this would be such a concern. If the woman had any brains, she would keep quiet just as much as me especially since she would probably be punished more harshly what with her being in the military and all.

Yeah, that would be no good.

33

[quote]Fiction wrote:
If the woman had any brains, she would keep quiet just as much as me especially since she would probably be punished more harshly what with her being in the military and all.
[/quote]

Wow…when was the last time you had an argument with a woman?

34

[quote]sen say wrote:
Okay…call your dad[/quote]

I did tell him. He told me it was stupid, but he was kind of smiling while he said it. He couldn’t really elaborate much though because was too busy being drowned out because of my raging, irrational mother.

35

[quote]Fiction wrote:
sen say wrote:
Okay…call your dad

I did tell him. He told me it was stupid, but he was kind of smiling while he said it. He couldn’t really elaborate much though because was too busy being drowned out because of my raging, irrational mother.[/quote]

…which means your dad understands women better than you do apparently.

36

[quote]Professor X wrote:
…which means your dad understands women better than you do apparently.[/quote]

How so?

37

[quote]Fiction wrote:
sen say wrote:
Okay…call your dad

I did tell him. He told me it was stupid, but he was kind of smiling while he said it. He couldn’t really elaborate much though because was too busy being drowned out because of my raging, irrational mother.[/quote]

Okay…I’ve got my Emily Q light out and I’m flashing it in the sky…

38

[quote]Fiction wrote:
Professor X wrote:
…which means your dad understands women better than you do apparently.

How so?[/quote]

What, are you in high school? You expect an upset woman to act…rationally?

Really?

What color is the sky in your world?

39

[quote]Professor X wrote:
What, are you in high school? You expect an upset woman to act…rationally?[/quote]

No. Men are frequently irrational as well when upset. However, people are startlingly intelligent when it comes to protecting their own self-interest. Not all the time, but often.

Don’t make assumptions about me just because you have 100x more posts than I do.

40

[quote]Fiction wrote:
I disagree. I didn’t see anything that applied to this paritcular situation. Indeed, I think that TC might even support this perspective. From the original “T-Man Defined” ( http://www.T-Nation.com/article/atomic_dog/tman_defined ):

He doesn’t bow to authority and occasionally even breaks inane laws…He probably leans more to a libertarian ideal, believing that government should help where it can but otherwise stay the hell out of his business.

[/quote]

This isn’t a law…this is a benefit…a benefit that you and the woman would not be entitled to…so…you’re not a patriot/rebel…you’re lawbreaker…and not a lawbreaker like Thomas Jefferson or Robin Hood.

Thomas Jefferson voted to overthrow English rule because the Colonists were being penalized…they were being taxed unfairly…the English were taking their money…that is what not bowing to authority and occasionally breaking inane laws means…

What it doesn’t mean is screwing the system for your own personal gain…