I’m just exhausted. For some reason I’ve been waking up every 2 hours for the last few nights. I hate school. It’s not like being at home is any better, but I hate school. I can’t think and I feel like a moron.
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You ever experiment with melatonin? Or similar sleep aids?
I take enough CBD oil to put a horse to sleep. I do not consume any kind of caffeine.
I also dropped 7 pounds in the last week. Doctor told me to lower the intensity of my training. Wonderful. It’s not like I’m getting stronger by training hard anyway. I’m just gonna do something from Dan John or not train at all because I don’t care enough to train. I mean, why should I? What am I gonna do? Lose weight? Get weaker?
Dan John has a good “training twice a week” article.
I guess you could use your time to work on something else you’ve wanted to do. Learn a language?..
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Well, I’m not giving up because my future will be better than my now (as @strongmanbrett and @gsg202 said). With that being said, I’m feeling rough with no guarantee that I’m gonna feel okay anytime soon. My birthday is tomorrow and I am in no way excited for it. I have more than a few tests and an orchestra performance tomorrow.
I’m getting a colonoscopy done in a week or so (the last one never panned out), and I’m seeing a psychologist just as soon as I can get an appointment with one. I’m running on fumes, but that’s nothing new. Here’s hoping to my health, both physically and mentally. I have 366 days to pull 500 pounds…can I do it? I’m leaning towards no, only because I’m being realistic about my situation; but I’m gonna try just as soon as the reigns are let off me and I can do what I want. Because let’s be realistic - until I get better I’m gonna be spinning my wheels.
In better news, I got a 33 on my ACT (translates to a 1480 SAT), and math is my weak spot (got a 28). I got a 34 on English and a 35 on Science. I simply forgot how to do a lot of the math problems on the ACT because I learned them last year. This means that I can get myself a 34-35 on the test with a month or so of targeted math work (and thus be a contender for schools like Columbia, Yale, and Harvard). I’m also a fairly good writer and I’ve been through multiple situations that make me stand out from the crowd (sickness, home life, general existence), so my college essay should be enough to attract the attention and acceptance of a few Ivy schools. It should also be enough for me to get close to a full scholarship from a few other schools, such as NYU, Stevens, Georgetown University, and Northeastern University. I’m thinking about making the switch to a criminal law/political science major…my loyalties may lie there rather than in engineering. I have a brain wired for writing and argumentation, why shouldn’t I capitalize on that? Getting my grades is the only thing in my life I’ve been able to do correctly so far (I’ve had a 97-99% average for my entire high school career taking the hardest classes possible), but if I’m lucky it’ll carry me to a better life. I just have to get through right now in order to do it.
In order to do that, I’ll need professional help lest I crash and burn…I’m finally allowed to get it, so that’s a plus. I have a loyal girlfriend that loves me regardless of my situation, and for that I’m very thankful. She’s great, and she’s actually going to NYU on a full scholarship. She’s smarter than me AND she can kick my ass. Here’s to better days in the future. 17 will be a better year.
Happy birthday to me!
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Also, I’ll be introducing more foods to my diet soon. Soft-boiled eggs, rice, beef, and oatmeal are all on my list of things to try. If I can, I may invest in some Pepto-Pro (used by Clint Darden, a fellow sufferer of colitis). In the mean time, I’m probably just gonna run 5/3/1 5s PRO with jokers when I feel good and minimal assistance until I get better…I’ll miss my PR sets, but maybe I’ll feel better sooner if I minimize bodily stress. I have to keep a positive attitude. It’s easier said than done. Stress kills my stomach and I live in stress.
Time for deadlifts. We’ll see what I can do…I’m definitely gonna focus on doing jokers today. If I can get some heavier weights in my hands and do a whole lot of fahves I’ll be okay. Time to put PR sets to the side for just a little.
This is awesome, dude. I, too, scored a 33 on the ACT (math and science were my strengths). I went to one of those schools you listed with a full scholarship and then went to an Ivy for grad school. Personally, I recommend this route. Sounds like you may want to be pursuing a JD eventually, and a number of my closest friends are finishing up their 1L and 2L years at HLS and CLS. Let me know if you’d ever like insight regarding your pursuits. Happiest of birthdays to you and keep grinding!
@lil.greggy thanks for your insight! What is a JD, HLS, and CLS?
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Body said deadlifts were not in the cards today. As usual.
Judicial degree (i.e. Juris Doctor, degree from law school). Judging by your undergrad interests and general academic strengths, it certainly seems like a considerable option for you down the road.
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Happy birthday @liftangryordie500
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@lilgreggy thank you for clarifying that. And I’d definitely want to pursue something along that line of work.
@gsg202 thank you!
Happy birthday!
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Happy birthday man!
Just found this and skimmed through it. very impressive stuff
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Happy birthday mate, all the best for the coming year!
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Happy birthday dude! I know life feels like it’s shitty sometimes (or lots of times) but if you’re 17 and in a shitty home situation, you’re actually 1 year away from STARTING your life. Make this year about getting healthy.
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@flappinit thank you! And yes, that is the plan. If I can’t get healthy; all my college plans will be on hold.
I think I’m dealing with another parasite, as well as IC. Frequent urinary urgency has been a problem for a long time, but I’ve gotten my urine tested multiple times — no UTIs. Never had an STD. What happens is that I’ll pee and I’ll feel like I have to either push the urine out or I won’t finish going. It hurts. When I lift weights, I sometimes leak a little (from both ends) just because I’m bracing pretty hard. That hurts too. The sensation I feel also makes the aftermath of orgasming unbearable…it feels like there’s a hot iron stuck in my urethra and bowels until I’m able to urinate again. I also sometimes have dry ejaculations. That sure isn’t normal. I need to see a urologist. The only thing I can say is that drinking water helps me pass the urine stuck in my urethra.
As for the parasite (I’m thinking H. Pylori), the amount of gas I have is ungodly; but I can’t fart. I’m always bloated and burping. I’ve never had an endoscopy or colonoscopy because I was too scared to get them done; but that’s changing. My weight also fluctuated by 7 pounds in a week (yes, same conditions, empty stomach in the morning). I’m waiting on the GI to call me back and schedule an appointment.
I may also be switching my dietician. If I’m drinking my foods and still feeling like shit (I’ve also developed an intolerance to everything besides chicken, avocados, vegetables, seedless fruits, and some nuts), something is wrong with my diet. I’m moving my bowels 4-5 times a day and still cramping like I have to go really badly. It seems like when I take a step in the right direction I take two steps backwards. It’s really discouraging. I walk around feeling like death. The nausea also really gets to me, because it’s almost always present.
And to think: three doctors told me all these problems were in my head. How do some people get their medical degrees?
Hit some Belated Birthday PRs, even though today was by all means a bad day for my gut (I saw something resembling sand in the toilet) and I haven’t gotten over three days worth of sleep all week. Wow. I did not think I was capable of hitting those PRs. BW was sitting at 165 pounds on the dot.
Deadlift
135 x 2 x 5
185, 225 x 3
245, 280 x 5
320 x 14 - PR!
350 x 1 - fastest 350 ever
385 x 1 - heaviest single ever pulled. Stiff legged the fuck out of it because I was subconsciously trying to avoid skinning the shit out of my legs, which were already raw from the previous sets. On that set of 14, my shins bled.
280, 245 x 5
Press
45 x 2 x 5
75 x 3
95, 110 x 5
130 x 10 — PR
145 x 1 — easy single
110, 95 x 5
That’s all.
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