[quote]imhungry wrote:
Personally, I wouldn’t give it to her on Christmas.
I think a day or a place that was special to both of you, would be better. I’m not a big fan of combining two special occasions on one day.[/quote]
I agree. I also know several couples, including my parents, who were married the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend, so everyone would have a 3-4 day weekend.
If you’d bought a 25cent ring instead; you could’ve bought breast implants for her and her sister and put some money away for a down payment on a house.
Seriously though, congradulations man and best of luck to you.
…9K for a ring?! Now i know why i’m single, lol. I wish you all the best!
Congratulations, to a long and loving marriage.
With that said, I don’t understand how people can put so much value on a stone. After all, you are not buying her love, she already loves you.
When my wife and I got married we look at all the expensive stuff, but none of it wowed her. Finally found a ring she loved and it was five hundred bucks. Was it the best diamond? Who knows, and honestly who can tell unless it’s something you really care about. What she did care about was that we buy a house so that she could have a dog.
For the record, I got a mountain bike and a fifty dollar ring, and yet we’ve been married fifteen years. I regularly destroy rings and get a new one every couple years, so I have gone to a silver band, much tougher than gold.
I bought my wife’s ring on bluenile as well. Great value compared to jewelry stores, which have shit quality at outrageous prices. They must operate under the assumption that you haven’t looked anywhere else.
Congrats!
I got engaged to my wife in 1983 and she had a friend that worked in a jewelry factory in Manhattan. We went in and picked a nice stone, it was only 1/2 karat but a perfect stone. We picked it out from the bag of stones those Hassidic guys carry around, he met us at the factory, think it ran me $400 at the time. Add the setting at wholesale and I walked out with a ring for under $800.
The key is the main stone. Since then we had it reset into another ring with diamonds on the side. I wasn’t swimming in $$ in 1983 and she understood. I think $10k is a load of money to drop on a ring, but go for it if it makes the both of you happy.
BG
[quote]dez6485 wrote:
jehovasfitness wrote:
msd0060 wrote:
I’m 24 and make 41k a year plus bonuses of a few thousand, I don’t know how the fuck I’ll ever have that much to put down on a ring + at the same time save for a house. WTF? Age-adjusted, I do pretty well. Maybe I’ll start stealing things.
exactly, by the time you pay for a ring, wedding, honeymoon, that is a down payment on a house. Fuck, I wish I thought this through more and talked to her about what was the most important to her.
B/C all 3 is hurting us.
If you look around, you’ll see plenty of guys that have wives, that they married, bought engagement rings for, and went on honeymoons with, that live in houses that they own. In fact, people have been doing it for a while now.
It’s the American dream. Work, save, buy something. Work, save, buy small house. Work, Work, Save, Trade up to slightly bigger house. Work, save, Work, save, buy medium house. Work, save…etc. Then you’re 65, have a huge house, kids are gone, so you downsize. Ha, that’s funny.
[/quote]
I’m just saying that with all 3, we’re looking at $20k. Which I know is a lot better than many people when it comes to how much we’re spending. But, $20k is a nice emergency fund, or decent down payment on a house.
How does someone go about getting the ring size without giving away the whole idea away? I mean if you flat out ask her, she will know something is up, so how is it done?
[quote]MaximusB wrote:
How does someone go about getting the ring size without giving away the whole idea away? I mean if you flat out ask her, she will know something is up, so how is it done?[/quote]
I’d believe that after five years, along with talking about getting engaged, that she’s already mentioned it a number of times… I would think, anyway.
If not, ask her family or friends.
[quote]MaximusB wrote:
How does someone go about getting the ring size without giving away the whole idea away? I mean if you flat out ask her, she will know something is up, so how is it done?[/quote]
I commented on how skinny my fingers were and that the avg male size finger is x.x . I then was like what’s yours? she had no clue
I hate that pics always appear at the top of the post. This makes more sense further on down the page. First off, let me wish you and your finace much love and luck, and a huge congratulations! I recently (Aug 14), married my very best friend in the world, and am over the moon with delight.
Now let me say, wow, I guess I have my priorities completely different than some of you!! Not to say that what you spent is wrong, not in the least. Everyone has different priorities, for certain. In theory I know some people spend a LOT on rings, and on weddings.
For me, the important part is the marriage, not the wedding. I think if I had an extra $10k kicking around, I could think of a lot better uses for it than a ring. Like someone mentioned, down payment on a house, pay off student loans, even donate money to the animal shelter or a horse rescue, feed starving children…I am a bit of an idealist, though.
My late husband insisted on buying a diamond engagement ring. I wanted a plain, simple band. We ended up buying a .5 carat diamont solitaire, the biggest I would agree to, and I insisted we keep it under a $1000 bucks. Pragmatic me, we bought it at Sam’s Club. It was set in a simple gold setting. I did pick out a nice wraparound gold wedding band, no extra frills or diamonds. I like simplicity. It was about $500 IIRC.
At the time I was living in a tiny town in Montana. About 80% of the town’s revenue, in fact the county’s revenue, came from gold mining. Seeing the enormous devastation, huge open pit mines, etc, all for the sake of the tiny bit of shiny metal it garnered still sickens me.
It takes about a railroad car of raw ore, in most cases, to yield enough gold for a single wedding ring. And that is the least of it. Much of the open pit gold mining is done through cyanide leaching–yes, the soak it in cyanide, which then must be somehow disposed of. Deadly poison…
http://www.meic.org/mining/cyanide_mining/golden_sunlightMine
Montana is one of the biggest superfund sites in the nation. We have huge, huge HUGE amounts of pollution to contend with, almost all of which is caused by mining of one sort or another. Millions and millions and millions of $$ spent JUST on the litigation to force these huge companies to clean up their messes, and billions more spent on doing the actual clean ups.
SO, gold, though pretty, really does not do it for me
Then there is the whole diamond industry–the horrible abuses in the name of procuring diamonds (like in the movie, Blood Diamond), and the fact that the major sellers of diamonds artificially keep the prices up by withholding large percentages of the stock they actually have.
Yeah. So. Diamonds and gold just are not my thing.
Actually, I would have been content simply to live in sin, but my husband is a bit of a traditionalist and really wanted to legally tie the knot. Because of my feelings above, and being a pragmatist, I thought we should recycle the ring I already owned. He wanted something that was just for us.
We compromised on simple black tungsten carbide bands,w ith a Celtic knot design. I find them to be incredibly lovely, and representative of my values and his. We also did the ceremony in a simple and stressfree way. The first time I was married, my late husband wanted the whole wedding thing done. I wanted to elope. This time, we did just that. We went off to Las Vegas, plunked down our money at a wedding chapel, and walked down the aisle arm in arm, together.
We had a few friends and family at the ceremony and dozens more attended via streaming video, which was pretty cool. It was perfect–no muss, no fuss, and very cost-effective.
Being a girl with simple tastes (or perhaps just simple-minded) I ordered both my “wedding” dress and James’ shirt from Maui Shirts in Hawaii. He wore a Hawaiian pink flamingos on a black background, shorts, and sandals; I wore a black tank dress with white hibiscus on the hem. My sister and niece wore matching Hawaiian sarongs. We got all four for slightly over $100, shipping included.
If anyone is in need of a Hawaiian shirt, I highly recommend Maui Shirts. They are fantastic to deal with and have about the best customer service, hands down, of any Internet company I have ever used.
It is true, this was my second wedding and I am no young bride–I turned 44 two days after the ceremony. But we did not start out our marriage with a ton of debt for a wedding that lasts a fleeting time and causes hair-tearing stress. Our biggest single expense was the amount of money we spent gambling, since we spent four days in Vegas!
As I said, different priorites for different folks.
Many good wishes,
Linette
[quote]imhungry wrote:
MaximusB wrote:
How does someone go about getting the ring size without giving away the whole idea away? I mean if you flat out ask her, she will know something is up, so how is it done?
I’d believe that after five years, along with talking about getting engaged, that she’s already mentioned it a number of times… I would think, anyway.
If not, ask her family or friends.[/quote]
I was just curious, I am nowhere near getting engaged. Hell I am single right now, but I would envision popping the question as a surprise. So talking about it would give it away. Asking family or friends seems futile, women can’t keep a secret for shit, especially one like that. If I ever bought a ring and it didn’t fit, I would feel like a total dumb ass LOL.
[quote]MaximusB wrote:
I was just curious, I am nowhere near getting engaged. Hell I am single right now, but I would envision popping the question as a surprise. So talking about it would give it away. Asking family or friends seems futile, women can’t keep a secret for shit, especially one like that. If I ever bought a ring and it didn’t fit, I would feel like a total dumb ass LOL. [/quote]
I just stole a ring that I have seen her wear on her right hand-takes all of 10 secs to drop the thing on a sizer.
Buy diamonds on-line…always. Avoid the sales tax.
There is a loose diamond search engine that searches all the sites:
www.diamondse.info
I found Union Diamond to be the best.
Just some advice on asking…KEEP IT SIMPLE. Nothing wrong with a little dinner that you prepare and some champange afterwards. Breakfast in bed. On a nice walk. Try to keep everything in your control.
Also my wedding band is wicked…
Congrats man.
You guys are either well off or just silly if you’re spending over 10k on a ring. lol (not meant to be a “diss” just my thoughts)
I dropped about 4 on my girls ring about a month ago and she still shat her pants when she saw it. But she’s got little hands so it looks like it’s larger then it is.
I saved some cash to save towards other things; like the upcoming wedding. I hear those are pricey as well. lol
Congrats to all though…nice work men!
oh and i snagged mine at diamondsontheweb.com
the same type of ring at mall-stores was 1500 more.
congrats…what makes you and her happy is what is important. for me, i could not imagine spending that on a ring and if i had my fiancee would have slapped me. I make 100k a year and she makes close to 70k. we settled on a 4k ring for her and for me a $100 titanium band. But like i said what YOU like is what is important…I would have loved to have had that bike…nice work there bro.
[quote]spyoptic wrote:
This is bullshit. Youre probably smart enough to have run through all of this, but maybe one last time to freshen your memory so here it goes…
why are you getting married? if you stip it down, its only because society tells you thats what you’re supposed to do. Are you really done experiencing new things, traveling and discovering life? or are all those things accomodated when you buy a house and get stuck for the next two decades in maryland? You don’t think theres literally MILLIONS of girls you could spend 5 years with???
you’ve been with this person for 5 years… thats 5 years taken off the total time you’ll be able to stand her. honestly - we live in a world where nothing is permanent - theres going to be a time where you will not love this person.
dont do it. [/quote]
Who shit in your rice crispies?
Did Sally-Anne not want to go to the prom with you?
Poor guy.
[quote]Stronghold wrote:
spyoptic wrote:
This is bullshit. Youre probably smart enough to have run through all of this, but maybe one last time to freshen your memory so here it goes…
why are you getting married? if you stip it down, its only because society tells you thats what you’re supposed to do. Are you really done experiencing new things, traveling and discovering life? or are all those things accomodated when you buy a house and get stuck for the next two decades in maryland? You don’t think theres literally MILLIONS of girls you could spend 5 years with???
you’ve been with this person for 5 years… thats 5 years taken off the total time you’ll be able to stand her. honestly - we live in a world where nothing is permanent - theres going to be a time where you will not love this person.
dont do it.
Who shit in your rice crispies?
Did Sally-Anne not want to go to the prom with you?
Poor guy.[/quote]
hahaha
wow yeah i actually agree with SH.
someone just got his heart broken. I honestly feel bad for that dude…
[quote]B rocK wrote:
Stronghold wrote:
spyoptic wrote:
This is bullshit. Youre probably smart enough to have run through all of this, but maybe one last time to freshen your memory so here it goes…
why are you getting married? if you stip it down, its only because society tells you thats what you’re supposed to do. Are you really done experiencing new things, traveling and discovering life? or are all those things accomodated when you buy a house and get stuck for the next two decades in maryland? You don’t think theres literally MILLIONS of girls you could spend 5 years with???
you’ve been with this person for 5 years… thats 5 years taken off the total time you’ll be able to stand her. honestly - we live in a world where nothing is permanent - theres going to be a time where you will not love this person.
dont do it.
Who shit in your rice crispies?
Did Sally-Anne not want to go to the prom with you?
Poor guy.
hahaha
wow yeah i actually agree with SH.
someone just got his heart broken. I honestly feel bad for that dude…[/quote]
yea, i read his response and really didnt feel the need to say anything back. If someone cant understand the desire to make a life with someone, who acts as your partner, helping you accomplish your goals as an individual and as a partnership, bring kids into this world, etc…its really not worth arguing with them. some people arent into one person for the rest of their lives, i happen to be.
if you think that you can “date” someone for several years, have some kids, get a house, etc, and then just kick them out of your life, because you want a new one…then youre an idiot and a dick.
or, if you dont want to own your own house and raise kids and all that good stuff, fine, youre just different…but what makes you think you should try and advise someone that they should follow your way? either way, idiot. (spyoptic).