Fear

Off Topic
41

[quote]dbanton wrote:
Much respect to angry chicken for putting forward an adult response to the question.

For those whose greatest fear is harm to themselves, they are too inwardly focused; even if you don’t have kids, there must be someone, preferably more than one, other than yourself that matters so much that you would fear something bad happening to them above even yourself.

For those who fear mediocrity, there is a high probability that you are mediocre; but I guess self-deception is easy when one is so insular and egotistical.

My greatest fear is that my wife and or son die before I do.[/quote]

I am too inwardly focused then, but no one matters more to me than myself. Once I have kids or a wife, then I’m sure it’s going to be different, but right now it’s like this.

How was it when you were single and had no kids? You cared about who more than yourself? Or you were part of us, the group of mediocre, insular and egoistical people?

42

[quote]Hallowed wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:
Been to prison (did almost 4 years and got stabbed 5 times), been homeless (mom’s 4th husband kicked me out when I was 16), been in high speed accidents with other people driving (I have a horseshoe up my ass, I was the only one who walked away), had my face burned (Had a 3000A switch blow up in my face - I was blind for a day and half, that was scary. I healed up well - all that you can see is a little bald spot in my beard where the hair never grew back), been disfigured (had a pipe wrench dropped on my face from 25’ - put my nose where my cheek should be. Three surgeries later, a bit of plastic and cadaver tissue and I’m once again the handsome guy you all know and luv)…

Most of what you all fear is very survivable. I don’t really fear anything regarding myself. If it doesn’t kill me, it will only make me stronger. Believe me, that’s a very true statement if you approach said situation NOT from a victim mentality.

Gotta agree with Ouroboro, though - once you throw children into the equation, you get a whole new set of very real fears/phobias. Knowing what I know about the world, I’m a total “papa bear” when it comes to my kids. God help the person who hurts my children.[/quote]

I am not talking about fixable fisfigurement. I am talking about permanent disfigurement.

I’m not living my life with no face I’m talking freddy krougwr burns… no nose… shit like that.

And besides, I’m not saying you’re not tough AC you’re tough as shit and i ve got no argument there, BUT what you’re doing in your post is applying rational and logical comparisson. Not all fears are rational it doesn’t mean they don’t still drive us and affect us.

Also, I’m sure fear regarding your children is intense… but I don’t have children so it can’t be applied to me.[/quote]

I hear ya on the permanent disfigurement thing. That would be a tough pill to swallow - especially for someone as attractive as you. But the point I was trying to make is that there really is more to “LIFE” than being attractive… You’re a smart girl, I’m sure there are a MILLION ways that you could touch peoples lives in a positive way BESIDES posting in the vixen thread (not that ANY of us mind that at all! LOL).

And you’re right, I was applying rational and logical comparisons from MY experience to other people’s fear (which I realize is a logical fallacy). And I WASN’T trying to sound “tough as shit” - believe me, I’m a softie on the inside! LOL I’ve simply been lucky/un-lucky/made enough bad decisions to where I’ve experienced fear A LOT… from the time I was a child to early adulthood, I dealt with various levels of fear on pretty much a daily basis. I eventually really began to understand what “FEAR” is… But I also learned that if you do what you have to do IN SPITE of your fear, the thing you fear is almost NEVER as bad as you fear it may be. In other words, fear is like a big magnifying glass that blows a situation WAY out of proportion. If you can logically dis-associate yourself from it, it loses it’s power over you and you are free to act “un-affected” by it.

I would submit for consideration that if someone is being “driven” by a fear - even subtly, then it may move them in a more positive direction to confront that fear and deal with it (observe it, own it, and let it go/keep it in front of you).

I believe that irrational fears (especially ones that you aren’t consciously aware of) do more harm to our society and our lives than just about any other force that we deal with… If you think about it, just about EVERY negative action we take as humans is motivated by fear - justified or unjustified… Think about it.

That’s my .02

43

I find it interesting that a number of people fear mediocrity, blending with the crowd and leaving nothing of themselves behind (Forgive the inelegant summary). It’s my belief that the general invisibility and ephemeral nature of most of our lives allows for an immense amount of freedom of thought and movement. This doesn’t apply so much to what people have written in this particular thread but in past threads and the general desperate attempts of N. Americans (and likely other places) to be noticed by any rediculous means possible in the media. I suppose I fear losing the camouflage of the herd and thereby losing my invisibility and freedom.

44

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
I have this silly, irrational fear of speaking in public. My mouth gets dry, my chest tightens up, I feel like I have to piss when I don’t, want to throw up, become dizzy, lose all train of thought, get blurred vision, and sweat profusely for hours prior to doing it.

[/quote]

The funny thing is that, it is because I am scared of public speaking/performing that I like it.
lol
If I did not get scared I would not want to do it.

I find imagining beating the shit out of the first person who snickers at you helps. I always look out over the audience and look them in the eye, show them who’s boss. Then imagine cutting a old school pro wrestling promo on them. Wooooo. Throwing a chair or something.

But really it is not hard to find sympathetic people in an audience most will feel for you if you stumble. Just look them in the eyes if you ever have to do it.

45

I really hate roaches they’re gross

46

[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
I find it interesting that a number of people fear mediocrity, blending with the crowd and leaving nothing of themselves behind (Forgive the inelegant summary). It’s my belief that the general invisibility and ephemeral nature of most of our lives allows for an immense amount of freedom of thought and movement. This doesn’t apply so much to what people have written in this particular thread but in past threads and the general desperate attempts of N. Americans (and likely other places) to be noticed by any rediculous means possible in the media. I suppose I fear losing the camouflage of the herd and thereby losing my invisibility and freedom.[/quote]

There is a huge difference between trying not to be mediocre yet still being “average” because your not Bill gates, or whatever crazy definition you want to use, and being happy with being mediocre.

As a woman who competes in PL’ing you are light years away from mediocre. But you still are part of the herd.

You don’t have to be George Clooney to also not be an average schlub. Most if not all of us that post on this site are very much part of the herd and blend in quite well, but there is a damn large chunk that aren’t mediocre by any means. (Most of whom will call themselves average and mediocre, but they are just being humble asses.)

Ya know what I’m sayin’?

47

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
I find it interesting that a number of people fear mediocrity, blending with the crowd and leaving nothing of themselves behind (Forgive the inelegant summary). It’s my belief that the general invisibility and ephemeral nature of most of our lives allows for an immense amount of freedom of thought and movement. This doesn’t apply so much to what people have written in this particular thread but in past threads and the general desperate attempts of N. Americans (and likely other places) to be noticed by any rediculous means possible in the media. I suppose I fear losing the camouflage of the herd and thereby losing my invisibility and freedom.[/quote]

There is a huge difference between trying not to be mediocre yet still being “average” because your not Bill gates, or whatever crazy definition you want to use, and being happy with being mediocre.

As a woman who competes in PL’ing you are light years away from mediocre. But you still are part of the herd.

You don’t have to be George Clooney to also not be an average schlub. Most if not all of us that post on this site are very much part of the herd and blend in quite well, but there is a damn large chunk that aren’t mediocre by any means. (Most of whom will call themselves average and mediocre, but they are just being humble asses.)

Ya know what I’m sayin’?[/quote]

I do know what you mean. I think there is a big fear of appearing average despite the fact that that describes most of us because that’s what average is after all; a statistical agglomeration.

What I’m describing is the seeming increasing incidence of the need to be noticed. It’s as if many people feel that their life lacks meaning and importance if it isn’t documented or remarked upon. I find comfort, continuity and connectedness in the herd and knowing that my life isn’t significantly different than millions of others.

I’m also afraid of leeches. Those fuckers freak me out.

48

[quote]dbanton wrote:
Much respect to angry chicken for putting forward an adult response to the question.

For those whose greatest fear is harm to themselves, they are too inwardly focused; even if you don’t have kids, there must be someone, preferably more than one, other than yourself that matters so much that you would fear something bad happening to them above even yourself.

For those who fear mediocrity, there is a high probability that you are mediocre; but I guess self-deception is easy when one is so insular and egotistical.

My greatest fear is that my wife and or son die before I do.[/quote]

^^^
SELFISH!!!
You fear they will die before you because of how it will hurt YOU.
Maybe you should man up and hope your wife dies first so that she doesn’t have to experience losing her husband.

OMGLOLHAHAHA!

49

[quote]Hallowed wrote:

[quote]dbanton wrote:
Much respect to angry chicken for putting forward an adult response to the question.

For those whose greatest fear is harm to themselves, they are too inwardly focused; even if you don’t have kids, there must be someone, preferably more than one, other than yourself that matters so much that you would fear something bad happening to them above even yourself.

For those who fear mediocrity, there is a high probability that you are mediocre; but I guess self-deception is easy when one is so insular and egotistical.

My greatest fear is that my wife and or son die before I do.[/quote]

^^^
SELFISH!!!
You fear they will die before you because of how it will hurt YOU.
Maybe you should man up and hope your wife dies first so that she doesn’t have to experience losing her husband.

OMGLOLHAHAHA![/quote]

You know, once I was arguing with someone about something related. He said that, after every action, there’s a selfish reason. I really couldn’t argue back, it felt overwhelming. And not pretty.

51

[quote]Mister T. wrote:

[quote]Edevus wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:

[quote]dbanton wrote:
Much respect to angry chicken for putting forward an adult response to the question.

For those whose greatest fear is harm to themselves, they are too inwardly focused; even if you don’t have kids, there must be someone, preferably more than one, other than yourself that matters so much that you would fear something bad happening to them above even yourself.

For those who fear mediocrity, there is a high probability that you are mediocre; but I guess self-deception is easy when one is so insular and egotistical.

My greatest fear is that my wife and or son die before I do.[/quote]

^^^
SELFISH!!!
You fear they will die before you because of how it will hurt YOU.
Maybe you should man up and hope your wife dies first so that she doesn’t have to experience losing her husband.

OMGLOLHAHAHA![/quote]

You know, once I was arguing with someone about something related. He said that, after every action, there’s a selfish reason. I really couldn’t argue back, it felt overwhelming. And not pretty.
[/quote]

Anyone ever heard of Ayn Rand?

ducks and prepares for the ensuing shitstorm[/quote]

Hey mane, take that shit to PWI where it belongs!

52

I worry that I may be disabled and need someone to take care of me.

Right now I have had a pain in my back for a month as of today…I’m pretty sure I got it from going down too far on the leg press…but at 38 I don’t want to have this thing where my back is basically fucked forever.

53

I once knew a girl who had an irrational fear of fruit. (Honestly)

It was hard to take seriously, but it was legit.

54

My friend is afraid of corduroy. It gives her the shivers, she wont touch it.

So naturally I chased her around a clothing store with a pair of corduroy pants, to help her get over her fear of course.

Okay it was really just because I thought it would be funny.
And it was!

:slight_smile:

55

I fear being in a situation where I cannot help my kids whether they’re in danger or just need advice. To just being a spectator and not an active particiapant is very unnerving.

56

I fear swarms of bees.

Any more than 10 flying around me is no fun, any more than that and I’m paralyzed until they go away.

57

[quote]dbanton wrote:
My greatest fear is that my wife and or son die before I do.[/quote]

x2. I’m going in the hole first. And taking my Fender with me.

58

[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:

I find comfort, continuity and connectedness in the herd and knowing that my life isn’t significantly different than millions of others.

[/quote]

I prefer the background over the limelight. Besides, I’m hiding from the Feds.

59

I fear falling, not heights per se, but falling.

I can ride in a chair lift, but skiing is brutal for me. It’s like a 6 hour adrenaline dump. I hate ladders, cherry pickers, scaffolding, any tall structures that seems less-than-permanent and could collapse under me.

I own 2 motorcycles and fight to get on them every time. I’m scared shitless of going down while riding. There’s something about the idea of going down and not being able to get my hands out in front of me to break my fall that’s petrifying.

60

death in an uncool way now that would suck!

61

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

What it really boils down to is I’m afraid if I have a daughter she’ll end up being attracted to the type of guy that I was for a long time.[/quote]

What kind of guy were you attracted to?