Ever Feel Like a Threadkiller (9)

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[quote]pch2 wrote:

[quote]polo77j wrote:

[quote]pch2 wrote:

[quote]polo77j wrote:
So vent to us … like. you’ve. been doing. :)[/quote]

That was me venting, venting about the oddess.

I find myself crying for no logical reason. I tried your introspection, and of course there are things to fix in the long term, but I can’t do them right this instant. Thinking sucks anyway, it makes my head hurt. [/quote]

trick is to focus on nothing at first. Literally. Maybe light a candle in a dark room and focus on the flame and think of only that flame. Sounds corny but it works. Do this every night. Particularly when you need to relax. Note the time you begin and try to go for as long as you can without thinking about anything except that flame. It’ll be very difficult at first.[/quote]

This is actually why I love BJJ so much. It’s really hard for me to not think. I spend all day alone in a dark room with a microscope and a computer, thinking is all I do. When you’re rolling though, you can’t think, you can’t even think about what you have to do to win, you can only do. It’s a great feeling, to be moving purely on instinct. I can’t get there in a room alone, I’ve tried. The only other place is occasionally in the weight room when there’s something really heavy trying to crush me. [/quote]

Try what I suggested … focus on something … the flame works best for me and focus intensely on that thing … on every aspect of it … and like I said start small and work your way up in time … it takes patience and practice

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[quote]WolBarret wrote:
What happened to days of bottling up your feelings and letting alcohol soothe you pain?[/quote]

I’m already fat. I thought about getting trashed today, but I don’t want all those calories. I’m picking thin and miserable. I’ve always had trouble with the happy part of ‘fat and happy’ when fat.

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[quote]pch2 wrote:

[quote]polo77j wrote:

[quote]pch2 wrote:

[quote]polo77j wrote:
So vent to us … like. you’ve. been doing. :)[/quote]

That was me venting, venting about the oddess.

I find myself crying for no logical reason. I tried your introspection, and of course there are things to fix in the long term, but I can’t do them right this instant. Thinking sucks anyway, it makes my head hurt. [/quote]

trick is to focus on nothing at first. Literally. Maybe light a candle in a dark room and focus on the flame and think of only that flame. Sounds corny but it works. Do this every night. Particularly when you need to relax. Note the time you begin and try to go for as long as you can without thinking about anything except that flame. It’ll be very difficult at first.[/quote]

This is actually why I love BJJ so much. It’s really hard for me to not think. I spend all day alone in a dark room with a microscope and a computer, thinking is all I do. When you’re rolling though, you can’t think, you can’t even think about what you have to do to win, you can only do. It’s a great feeling, to be moving purely on instinct. I can’t get there in a room alone, I’ve tried. The only other place is occasionally in the weight room when there’s something really heavy trying to crush me. [/quote]

Doing those things like BJJ and working out, is probably the best things to do right now, as it keeps your mind occupied.

Actually, that’s what got me to join T-Nation… I needed something to keep me a little distracted from thinking about the mind-fuck of 2 relationships that I just got out of at the time.

Is he still asking you to hang out?

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Workboots and gymshorts.

TGIF, like I said son!

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[quote]BradTGIF wrote:
Workboots and gymshorts.

TGIF, like I said son!

[/quote]

TGIF.

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I think the only thing besides time that heals is talking to another person, but there isn’t always someone there trustworthy. This place is not too bad for that.

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[quote]imhungry wrote:
Doing those things like BJJ and working out, is probably the best things to do right now, as it keeps your mind occupied.

Actually, that’s what got me to join T-Nation… I needed something to keep me a little distracted from thinking about the mind-fuck of 2 relationships that I just got out of at the time.

Is he still asking you to hang out?[/quote]

Yeah, I’ve been to the gym way more now. This is so where the idea of girls get out of relationships and get thin comes from. I can only watch so much hulu.

How are you not bitter now? You’re still open and nice. Granted I’ll always have that asshole facet of my personality, but how have you stayed so sweet?

Yeah, is it wrong that I want to? I miss him.

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you guys are killin me … PMPM that’s funny

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The lovely dogs I mentioned earlier.

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I want a pug

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[quote]trav123456 wrote:
I want a butt plug[/quote]

Ewww.

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[quote]pushmepullme wrote:

[quote]trav123456 wrote:
I want a butt plug[/quote]

Ewww.
[/quote]

So much gutter and so little mind

:smiley:

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[quote]pushmepullme wrote:

[quote]BradTGIF wrote:
Workboots and gymshorts.

TGIF, like I said son!

[/quote]

TGIF.[/quote]

Pants off would really make it TGIF.

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[quote]pch2 wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:
Doing those things like BJJ and working out, is probably the best things to do right now, as it keeps your mind occupied.

Actually, that’s what got me to join T-Nation… I needed something to keep me a little distracted from thinking about the mind-fuck of 2 relationships that I just got out of at the time.

Is he still asking you to hang out?[/quote]

Yeah, I’ve been to the gym way more now. This is so where the idea of girls get out of relationships and get thin comes from. I can only watch so much hulu.

How are you not bitter now? You’re still open and nice. Granted I’ll always have that asshole facet of my personality, but how have you stayed so sweet?

Yeah, is it wrong that I want to? I miss him.

[/quote]
There’s not a damn thing wrong with missing him… Not at all. It’s just tortuous.

Well, that’s also when i’ve tried to abuse myself with the weights… when I was miserable.

Listen, i’ve been through a ton of breakups and while it gets easier, it’s NEVER easy. Sometimes you just need to be miserable, cry…whatever… and just burn yourself out to the point to where you just get tired of thinking about it, then you start to think about it less and less. That’s what I do/did.

The other part is that it typically came down to compatability. It wasn’t that they were bad people… troubled, damaged and seriously fucked up… but not bad people.

When you find someone that you’re truly compatable with, you’ll realize that all the bullshit was worth it and you’ll appreciate it that much more…

But, there’s never any guarantee’s that it will be forever, either. (sorry, that was my cynical/realistic side talking)

Thanks for the compliments, by the way:)

Edit: You may also notice where I said “2 relationships”, well, there was some…overlap. I wasn’t a “sweet guy” at that time. I was completely miserable, too.

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TGIF, 'yall

PMPM, I got the same nail polish on too, I swear!

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[quote]trav123456 wrote:
I want a pug[/quote]

My sister has one. Her name is Sydney and she’s so cool…

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^^DUDE? You’re starting to sound creepy.

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[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]trav123456 wrote:
I want a pug[/quote]

My sister has one. Her name is Sydney and she’s so cool…[/quote]

Definitely going to get one when I move into a pet friendly place.

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[quote]trav123456 wrote:

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:

[quote]trav123456 wrote:
I want a butt plug[/quote]

Ewww.
[/quote]

So much gutter and so little mind

:D[/quote]

You say that like it is a bad thing

TGIF bitches

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beans, where your shoes on your desk at?