I got more jobs when my resume looked like complete shit. I had it revised by a “pro” and it turned into a 2 page monster wall of text with ZERO success. Since my last revision I’ve had more bites.
4 recruiters called yesterday, and 1 by 10:30 this morning.
My hair looks like this at the shortest. Usually I have a little more hair over the ears and sideburns, and have the back tapered like in the pic.
^this is not me, I found it on the googles
[quote]ucallthatbass wrote:
My hair looks like this at the shortest. Usually I have a little more hair over the ears and sideburns, and have the back tapered like in the pic.[/quote]
Okay.
Resume is one page and make it look pretty on nice paper, unless you have like 20 years of quality work experience. One fucking page. And I have never, and will never read a cover letter.
Wear a full suit, even if going to Wendy’s. And make sure you are clean shaven, teeth brushed, bring a notebook and normal bic pen. Take notes, ask a fuck load of questions. NO GUM. And dont’ act like a cocky assface (not that you do.) But don’t be a weak pussy either. It’s like scoring with da ladys, confidence and swagger win.
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
[quote]ucallthatbass wrote:
My hair looks like this at the shortest. Usually I have a little more hair over the ears and sideburns, and have the back tapered like in the pic.[/quote]
Okay.
Resume is one page and make it look pretty on nice paper, unless you have like 20 years of quality work experience. One fucking page. And I have never, and will never read a cover letter.
Wear a full suit, even if going to Wendy’s. And make sure you are clean shaven, teeth brushed, bring a notebook and normal bic pen. Take notes, ask a fuck load of questions. NO GUM. And dont’ act like a cocky assface (not that you do.) But don’t be a weak pussy either. It’s like scoring with da ladys, confidence and swagger win.[/quote]
I agree with this.
Plus, NEVER show up late for an interview. Be early.
Don’t act desparate and act like this is just another interview and you’re just looking for a job. (even if it’s true)
Avoid giving canned answers like the plague. Examples:
Me: “What makes you better than all the other candidates?”
You: “I’m a fast learner and a hard worker.” Well, no shit…so is everybody else who’s applying for the position.
Better answer: “I will out work and out perform anybody. I’ll come in early, work late, and i’ll make you never regret that you hired me.” Or, something like that… In other words, try your hardest to be as original and sincere as possible. BELIEVE in what you say.
[quote]imhungry wrote:
Plus, NEVER show up late for an interview. Be early.
Don’t act desparate and act like this is just another interview and you’re just looking for a job. (even if it’s true)
Avoid giving canned answers like the plague. Examples:
Me: “What makes you better than all the other candidates?”
You: “I’m a fast learner and a hard worker.” Well, no shit…so is everybody else who’s applying for the position.
Better answer: “I will out work and out perform anybody. I’ll come in early, work late, and i’ll make you never regret that you hired me.” Or, something like that… In other words, try your hardest to be as original and sincere as possible. BELIEVE in what you say.
[/quote]
Very good points. Very good.
Try and be upbeat and happy to be there interviewing. Speak in terms of a career NOT a job. Think long term and be excited.
It is fun to interview someone who is happy and enjoying being there.
If you can get the person to laugh and crack a few jokes, within professional limits, you leave a much better impression than if you are boring and depressing. (Or if you have big tits, let it be known without actually flashing or showing Cleveland. Boobs help, but don’t be slutty about it. ;))
Make sure your suit isn’t plain black or navy, and wear a shirt that isn’t white with a powerful tie, but not any of the gay ass Jerry Garcia ties or anything too flashy. You want to stand out not stick out. Don’t walk in there like Miami Vice and expect to be taken serious.
make sure you have a belt, and SHOES WITH LACES. Fuck slip on’s with a tie & jacket is the most tacky shit ever.
DO NOT wear your jacket while you drive or ride in, it looks like you slept in the fucking thing when you get there.
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
[quote]ucallthatbass wrote:
My hair looks like this at the shortest. Usually I have a little more hair over the ears and sideburns, and have the back tapered like in the pic.[/quote]
Okay.
Resume is one page and make it look pretty on nice paper, unless you have like 20 years of quality work experience. One fucking page. And I have never, and will never read a cover letter.
Wear a full suit, even if going to Wendy’s. And make sure you are clean shaven, teeth brushed, bring a notebook and normal bic pen. Take notes, ask a fuck load of questions. NO GUM. And dont’ act like a cocky assface (not that you do.) But don’t be a weak pussy either. It’s like scoring with da ladys, confidence and swagger win.[/quote]
I do all this, the issue I’m having is getting interviews. I don’t really feel the coverletters either. I think they hurt just as much as they help. Half the people wont read them or bother reading the attached resume. Others wont look at a resume without a coverletter. The summary section of my resume has all the same info in it as a cover letter would.
Hungry:
“if you’re early, you’re on time; if you’re on time, you’re late; if you’re late, don’t bother showing up”
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
[quote]imhungry wrote:
Plus, NEVER show up late for an interview. Be early.
Don’t act desparate and act like this is just another interview and you’re just looking for a job. (even if it’s true)
Avoid giving canned answers like the plague. Examples:
Me: “What makes you better than all the other candidates?”
You: “I’m a fast learner and a hard worker.” Well, no shit…so is everybody else who’s applying for the position.
Better answer: “I will out work and out perform anybody. I’ll come in early, work late, and i’ll make you never regret that you hired me.” Or, something like that… In other words, try your hardest to be as original and sincere as possible. BELIEVE in what you say.
[/quote]
Very good points. Very good.
Try and be upbeat and happy to be there interviewing. Speak in terms of a career NOT a job. Think long term and be excited.
It is fun to interview someone who is happy and enjoying being there.
If you can get the person to laugh and crack a few jokes, within professional limits, you leave a much better impression than if you are boring and depressing. (Or if you have big tits, let it be known without actually flashing or showing Cleveland. Boobs help, but don’t be slutty about it. ;))
Make sure your suit isn’t plain black or navy, and wear a shirt that isn’t white with a powerful tie, but not any of the gay ass Jerry Garcia ties or anything too flashy. You want to stand out not stick out. Don’t walk in there like Miami Vice and expect to be taken serious.
make sure you have a belt, and SHOES WITH LACES. Fuck slip on’s with a tie & jacket is the most tacky shit ever.
DO NOT wear your jacket while you drive or ride in, it looks like you slept in the fucking thing when you get there.[/quote]
I was just going to add the “don’t be boing part”.
There’s nothing worse than someone who hardly speaks and in one word answers, when he does.
I also hate people who are SO nervous, that they get cotton mouth and you can hear their tongue get stuck on the roof of their mouth. VERY awkward.
I can usually make them much more comfortable pretty quickly, though.
Well since we touched on hair… I thinking I need something new. any suggestions? I don’t want to shave it off, I’d like to enjoy some hair while I still have it.
[quote]ucallthatbass wrote:
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
[quote]ucallthatbass wrote:
My hair looks like this at the shortest. Usually I have a little more hair over the ears and sideburns, and have the back tapered like in the pic.[/quote]
Okay.
Resume is one page and make it look pretty on nice paper, unless you have like 20 years of quality work experience. One fucking page. And I have never, and will never read a cover letter.
Wear a full suit, even if going to Wendy’s. And make sure you are clean shaven, teeth brushed, bring a notebook and normal bic pen. Take notes, ask a fuck load of questions. NO GUM. And dont’ act like a cocky assface (not that you do.) But don’t be a weak pussy either. It’s like scoring with da ladys, confidence and swagger win.[/quote]
I do all this, the issue I’m having is getting interviews. I don’t really feel the coverletters either. I think they hurt just as much as they help. Half the people wont read them or bother reading the attached resume. Others wont look at a resume without a coverletter. I summary section of my resume has all the same info in it as a cover letter would.
Hungry:
“if you’re early, you’re on time; if you’re on time, you’re late; if you’re late, don’t bother showing up”[/quote]
This is why it is so important to network. My current job - got in the door due to nagging the recruiter who placed me at my last job. Job where I was “one of two and we went with the other dude but you’re awesome and don’t take a permanent position without talking to us first” - got in due to an old colleague’s new boss shoving my resume in front of their noses. Job where I have a third interview on Friday - got in on my own merits, but having people they’ve worked with as references certainly doesn’t hurt.
I have been on the culling side of job hunting, and I have thrown out resumes from qualified people because they screwed up the margins or had minor typos (lack of attention to detail), or even if they just weren’t that interesting on paper. But I’ve also thrown them out when people try to be too cutesy and interesting.
Also, re: the one page rule - I know we’re in different fields, but in my field, I see more two page resumes and recruiters who don’t mind the longer resume. I am only five years out, but I have two pages at 12 point font. Most of the people who will read my resume are old and half blind, so making a resume readable makes it more likely to be read.
I have a COMPLETE resume that literally lists everything I’ve done ever - it is around four pages. I update it regularly. I delete irrelevant experience (like litigation work for a real estate job) and clean it up for each individual employer. It takes more time, but I think it’s worth it. I also save the resumes as “PMPM resume Fancy Schmancy Firm” if I’m emailing them, which I think shows that I’m tailoring the resume (and makes it easy for me to bring the right resume to the interview).
I pdf my resumes before sending them to make sure they print the way I want them to print, without potential formatting issues.
I think once I get interviews I do well. I’ve been asked to come bake for 2nd, 3rd, and 4th interviews. The thing I noticed is I’m making it to final interviews with CFOs and CEOs, but losing the job to people with more experience. Sometimes I’m 10-20 years younger that the other applicants, It’s a buyers market.
Then I get the interviewers that walk in, throw a pile of resumes on the table, and the first thing out of their mouth is “What make’s you different from the other 200 applicants?” I fucking get up and walk out. I know they want to see how you will ‘react to the situation’, but I see it as a waste of time. These types of employers are usually assholes, or just going through the motions and testing the waters.
I’ve also been lucky enough to have job offers retracted. All fun stuff.
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
I have a COMPLETE resume that literally lists everything I’ve done ever - it is around four pages. [/quote]
Ugh, holy shit… But I guess that makes sense for a lawyer.
I hate reading leases and mortgage docs for my RE clients, and FML when my VC client opens a new fund.
You guys are windbags. And it is effecting the notes to my Financials too. What was once clear and concise, is now long and convoluted.
[quote]ucallthatbass wrote:
Well since we touched on hair… I thinking I need something new. any suggestions? I don’t want to shave it off, I’d like to enjoy some hair while I still have it.[/quote]
0 or 1 on the sides, high and tight (Marine style) with scissors on top. Works for me…
But we have a kid rocking the “Tom Brady” at work, and well, he sort of does look like a TB to be honest. Except he gets much less ass, and much uglier too.
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
[quote]ucallthatbass wrote:
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
[quote]ucallthatbass wrote:
My hair looks like this at the shortest. Usually I have a little more hair over the ears and sideburns, and have the back tapered like in the pic.[/quote]
Okay.
Resume is one page and make it look pretty on nice paper, unless you have like 20 years of quality work experience. One fucking page. And I have never, and will never read a cover letter.
Wear a full suit, even if going to Wendy’s. And make sure you are clean shaven, teeth brushed, bring a notebook and normal bic pen. Take notes, ask a fuck load of questions. NO GUM. And dont’ act like a cocky assface (not that you do.) But don’t be a weak pussy either. It’s like scoring with da ladys, confidence and swagger win.[/quote]
I do all this, the issue I’m having is getting interviews. I don’t really feel the coverletters either. I think they hurt just as much as they help. Half the people wont read them or bother reading the attached resume. Others wont look at a resume without a coverletter. I summary section of my resume has all the same info in it as a cover letter would.
Hungry:
“if you’re early, you’re on time; if you’re on time, you’re late; if you’re late, don’t bother showing up”[/quote]
This is why it is so important to network. My current job - got in the door due to nagging the recruiter who placed me at my last job. Job where I was “one of two and we went with the other dude but you’re awesome and don’t take a permanent position without talking to us first” - got in due to an old colleague’s new boss shoving my resume in front of their noses. Job where I have a third interview on Friday - got in on my own merits, but having people they’ve worked with as references certainly doesn’t hurt.
I have been on the culling side of job hunting, and I have thrown out resumes from qualified people because they screwed up the margins or had minor typos (lack of attention to detail), or even if they just weren’t that interesting on paper. But I’ve also thrown them out when people try to be too cutesy and interesting.
Also, re: the one page rule - I know we’re in different fields, but in my field, I see more two page resumes and recruiters who don’t mind the longer resume. I am only five years out, but I have two pages at 12 point font. Most of the people who will read my resume are old and half blind, so making a resume readable makes it more likely to be read.
I have a COMPLETE resume that literally lists everything I’ve done ever - it is around four pages. I update it regularly. I delete irrelevant experience (like litigation work for a real estate job) and clean it up for each individual employer. It takes more time, but I think it’s worth it. I also save the resumes as “PMPM resume Fancy Schmancy Firm” if I’m emailing them, which I think shows that I’m tailoring the resume (and makes it easy for me to bring the right resume to the interview).
I pdf my resumes before sending them to make sure they print the way I want them to print, without potential formatting issues.[/quote]
As an aside, if you ever fall for GAAP you certainly are anal enough to come fight the good fight.
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
I have a COMPLETE resume that literally lists everything I’ve done ever - it is around four pages. [/quote]
Ugh, holy shit… But I guess that makes sense for a lawyer.
I hate reading leases and mortgage docs for my RE clients, and FML when my VC client opens a new fund.
You guys are windbags. And it is effecting the notes to my Financials too. What was once clear and concise, is now long and convoluted. [/quote]
It’s only convoluted cuz y’all are afraid to make a wiggle-free statement. I’ve taken CLEs to figure out what exactly is being said in an auditor’s report!
Of course, when auditors ask us for opinion letters, we make it as narrow and limited as possible…
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
I have a COMPLETE resume that literally lists everything I’ve done ever - it is around four pages. [/quote]
Ugh, holy shit… But I guess that makes sense for a lawyer.
I hate reading leases and mortgage docs for my RE clients, and FML when my VC client opens a new fund.
You guys are windbags. And it is effecting the notes to my Financials too. What was once clear and concise, is now long and convoluted. [/quote]
It’s only convoluted cuz y’all are afraid to make a wiggle-free statement. I’ve taken CLEs to figure out what exactly is being said in an auditor’s report!
Of course, when auditors ask us for opinion letters, we make it as narrow and limited as possible…[/quote]
Very rarely do we speak in absolutes. Shit Appears reasonable damn it, but it might still be fucked up. Har har har.
And then you guys charge your clients to answer our confirmation letters, even though those are def standard letters and you just change the name. I applaud that every time I se the invoice the next year.
just please start sending your bills on time. Nothing worse than finding a bill for November finally being mailed out in February.
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
I have a COMPLETE resume that literally lists everything I’ve done ever - it is around four pages. [/quote]
Ugh, holy shit… But I guess that makes sense for a lawyer.
I hate reading leases and mortgage docs for my RE clients, and FML when my VC client opens a new fund.
You guys are windbags. And it is effecting the notes to my Financials too. What was once clear and concise, is now long and convoluted. [/quote]
It’s only convoluted cuz y’all are afraid to make a wiggle-free statement. I’ve taken CLEs to figure out what exactly is being said in an auditor’s report!
Of course, when auditors ask us for opinion letters, we make it as narrow and limited as possible…[/quote]
Very rarely do we speak in absolutes. Shit Appears reasonable damn it, but it might still be fucked up. Har har har.
And then you guys charge your clients to answer our confirmation letters, even though those are def standard letters and you just change the name. I applaud that every time I se the invoice the next year.
just please start sending your bills on time. Nothing worse than finding a bill for November finally being mailed out in February.
[/quote]
Blame my staff…lazy bitches.
Yeah, there is a form audit response letter, but we still have to make sure it is accurate. At my old firm, we had a paralegal do all the audit response letters (supervised by attorneys), so it was much cheaper.
Any opinions on if picking up a bachelor of business admin degree is worthwhile? I’m self-employed, and have an excess of electronics & computer certs, but I’m getting bored of re-certifying in the same damn courses, and would like to diversify my education.
I figure with challenge exams, creative course selection, part-time study, & getting back into the school-groove, I could manage it in about 18 mos, at a cost of $4000CDN.
Discuss.
[quote]Mad_Duck wrote:
Any opinions on if picking up a bachelor of business admin degree is worthwhile? I’m self-employed, and have an excess of electronics & computer certs, but I’m getting bored of re-certifying in the same damn courses, and would like to diversify my education.
I figure with challenge exams, creative course selection, part-time study, & getting back into the school-groove, I could manage it in about 18 mos, at a cost of $4000CDN.
Discuss.[/quote]
I mean if you can afford it, and want to, why the hell not?
But being self employed, assuming you don’t totally go under, you won’t need it on a resume if you look for jobs in the business field. 2002-2011 owned own “blah blah blah” business - Sold to VC company, looks pretty good.
I hate clowns.