Emotionally Dealing with Loss of Libido/T

DeterminedNate · January 6, 2011, 3:43am

I was diagnosed with low T (nevermind the reasons) in 2004. Its been 6 years and my libido still hasn’t come back. Sure, I have my moments here and there, but my libido is nothing like it used to be.

After six years, you get used to it, and for the most part I can keep it out of my thoughts. But this could literally devour me if I let it. The only way to deal with it is by not thinking about it.

I’m 27 years old and in the prime of my life, and instead of thinking about the next chick I want to bang, I’m busy reading on here about more effective TRT solutions.

How are you guys emotionally dealing with this crap? The only thing I can chalk it up to is a tremendous stroke of bad luck.

I’m not here to talk about treatment either. I just want to keep myself from going insane.

PureChance · January 6, 2011, 3:54am

sorry dude - but seriously treatment is the only way to stay sane… you need testosterone and all of your hormones in balance (cortisol, thyroid, estrogen, etc.) if you want to have any hope of feeling human or staying sane.

this is not something that you can just ‘will’ yourself through. Testosterone has countless benefits - getting a hard on is just a side benefit.

TRT is about feeling better…

DeterminedNate · January 6, 2011, 4:05am

Thanks for the encouragement, PC.

Hell, physically I feel great. Its just the LIBIDO thing that is incomprehensibly frustrating. So much so that I fear I will reach some sort of breaking point, God knows when, and just turn to drugs or something.

You go from literally being willing to fight an army of Romans to bang a girl, to simply not caring. I feel like a god damned eunuch.

Hooking up with a chick last week, and not being able to get it up for the fucking life of me. Thats a very, very disconcerting experience. Especially when the chick is ALL OVER YOU and giving you EVERY OPPORTUNITY to get your shit right. Jesus, pussy doesn’t normally come on a silver platter like it did then, and I STILL couldn’t capitalize.

I should probably look into the priesthood, or the monastery.

cjackson25 · January 6, 2011, 4:42am

I thought like you did for a while and didn’t want to get treated. Then my low libido turned into total loss of energy and appetite and that’s when I decided I had nothing to lose. You’ll get there.

DeterminedNate · January 6, 2011, 6:34am

Make no mistakes, I’ve been through the LITANY of TRT drugs. I’ve tried nearly everything, with no increase in libido throughout the whole process. It seems like something of a lost cause at this point. Almost like fate has cast me with this misfortune, and there is literally nothing I can do about it.

Normally, I’m good with handling all this. But today my insurance said they would no longer cover the drug I do use, (Clomid), since I have reached my lifetime maximum. Now, I have to go through the circus-like song and dance of making an appeal to the insurance company. Obviously, if I had it my way, I wouldn’t have to do any of this, and I don’t know, maybe its just wearing on me a little bit.

Whoeveres playing the violin for me can stop now. Just needed to air out my grievances. I’ll suck it up, and press on like I have always done. That seems to be the only option for me at this point.

Thanks for reading/empathizing. I have no doubt there are many others out there experiencing the same feelings.

B_WS6 · January 6, 2011, 9:56am

Could you please share your story? What have you tried and what was your protocol? What are your levels at currently? I know you said, “nevermind the reasons” but may I ask what it was?

I’m having low libido as well.

SportsPT · January 6, 2011, 12:08pm

It does suck. My GF is not too happy with it, that’s for sure.

Are you taking an antidepressant (SSRI)? those things will kill a libido because they don’t allow serotonin to be “taken up” by your brain. An increase in serotonin wreaks havoc on libido.

If you are on one, then talk to your doc and try another type. You may not need it as depression (and other symptoms of clinical depression) mimic the symptoms of Low T

PureChance · January 6, 2011, 2:20pm

Testosterone may not be your only problem. For me, I had a whole host of issues that had to be resolved before I started feeling alive again.

Have you tested for TSH, FT3, FT4, RT3, 8am Cortisol, Ferritin, Total Iron Binding Capacity, D25OH, B12, Magnesium, Aldosterone, Progesterone, Estradiol, Pregnenolone, DHEA-S, DHT, SHBG, IGF-1, Prolactin, Hemoglobin A1c, Homocysteine, ACTH Stim Test?

DeterminedNate · January 6, 2011, 5:40pm

I’m never an advocate of just giving up, but don’t you think that conducting these obscure blood tests is grasping for straws ? Aside from the major tests necessary to test for low testosterone, testing all the other minor hormones seems like an exercise in futility, not to mention a major hit to the wallet. I mean really, do you think my libido is related to a magnesium deficiency?

I definitely respect and admire the zest some of you have for solving this… but after treatment my blood tests showed that I’m pretty much fine, hormonally. I know everyone here questions the idea of a “normal range,” but when there’s nothing glaring on the bloodwork, there’s not a whole lot you can do - libido-wise. And I’m talking strictly about libido here. TRT succeeded in giving me healthy hormonal levels, but unfortunately my libido did not come back with it.

This has been a six year odyssey that I’ve been fed up with it, so forgive me for not remembering exact blood work scores or TRT regimens.

Off hand some of the products I’ve used are androgel, testim and clomid. All made my testosterone shoot through the roof, but the sexual reincarnation never occurred.

I’ve also explored the “mental” side of this issue, and I’m sure there are some factors coming into play, but at a certain point you’ve got to come to grips with the cold, hard fact that you will never be the same.

Self acceptance seems to be the only viable solution at this point.

mmg_4 · January 6, 2011, 5:50pm

[quote]DeterminedNate wrote:
I’m never an advocate of just giving up, but don’t you think that conducting these obscure blood tests is grasping for straws ? Aside from the major tests necessary to test for low testosterone, testing all the other minor hormones seems like an exercise in futility, not to mention a major hit to the wallet. I mean really, do you think my libido is related to a magnesium deficiency?

I definitely respect and admire the zest some of you have for solving this… but after treatment my blood tests showed that I’m pretty much fine, hormonally. I know everyone here questions the idea of a “normal range,” but when there’s nothing glaring on the bloodwork, there’s not a whole lot you can do - libido-wise. And I’m talking strictly about libido here. TRT succeeded in giving me healthy hormonal levels, but unfortunately my libido did not come back with it.

This has been a six year odyssey that I’ve been fed up with it, so forgive me for not remembering exact blood work scores or TRT regimens.

Off hand some of the products I’ve used are androgel, testim and clomid. All made my testosterone shoot through the roof, but the sexual reincarnation never occurred.

I’ve also explored the “mental” side of this issue, and I’m sure there are some factors coming into play, but at a certain point you’ve got to come to grips with the cold, hard fact that you will never be the same.

Self acceptance seems to be the only viable solution at this point.

[/quote]

31 yr old male here…libido dead for 4 years now. Ditto to everything in your post. Not thinking about it is the only choice for me or I would jump off a bridge. I know, not the most encouraging post but it is what it is…Devestating.

DeterminedNate · January 6, 2011, 6:16pm

[quote]SportsPT wrote:
It does suck. My GF is not too happy with it, that’s for sure.

Are you taking an antidepressant (SSRI)? those things will kill a libido because they don’t allow serotonin to be “taken up” by your brain. An increase in serotonin wreaks havoc on libido.

If you are on one, then talk to your doc and try another type. You may not need it as depression (and other symptoms of clinical depression) mimic the symptoms of Low T[/quote]

I am currently on no anti-depressants. I was depressed for a long time, and tried the whole Wellbutrin thing, but it also did nothing for my libido and numbed me to my own emotions, both good and bad.

Cognitive behavioral therapy has largely been successful for me in combating depression. I have literally hashed out every single personal/mental/emotional issue I’ve ever had in therapy, and now know how to properly think about things. The libido thing could be psychological, but even masturbation feels like a chore. I’m a relatively happy and contented person at this point, when I don’t think about having zero desire to bang chicks. Maybe once a year, I fall into that rabbit whole and things do get a bit dark.

Having sex was the driving force for my entire life, the reason for doing ANYTHING. Without it, I see no real point in busting my ass to achieve goals that are ultimately hollow and a goal for having a goals sake. Gilrs WERE my deep internal motivation. Girls were the GOAL. Money, success, accomplishment, were all vehicles to get THERE. And now, I personally don’t care.

I have a saying that goes: “Your cards are your cards.” And these are my cards.

PureChance · January 6, 2011, 6:57pm

look, I have been in almost the exact same boat, I had 5 years of feeling worse and worse, then sought treatment and had to fight my way through 8 doctors and 16+ blood tests over two+ years to get where I am at… and you know what?? It can get better IF you find the root of your problem and address it.

most doctors are egomaniacs and idiots to boot. Doctors saying things are normal and your tests being IDEAL are two completely different things. Normal = within the range of 95% of the population including 90 year old men and women on their deathbeds… sure you’re results are “normal” just like them… and guess what, you feel just like them too… is that IDEAL?? no way.

saying “these are my cards” is the same as accepting the fact that you will be miserable for the rest of your life. why would you do that? you don’t get another chance.

You have been on a littany of TRT drugs - doesn’t that show you that your libido is not solely Testosterone related? If it was, you would be feeling better. Some people are lucky and can treat just one thing and feel better. Some (lke me) are more complex and require multiple system fixes to get things working right.

Most doctors are terrible at TRT - was your doctor tracking and treating your Estradiol levels?

Thyroid and Cortisol are known to have major interactions with your hormone balance, mood, energy, libido, etc. Ignoring them or labeling them as obsure tests won’t really help you - actually it will keep you exactly where you are today - miserable. The tests I listed are all known to have major impacts on hormones, health, system balance, etc. recommended by the few great doctors I could find.

the system beats you down, doctors beat you down, insurance beats you down, your mood beats you down, your body beats you down… and you can decide to fight it and push to have the best life possible (i.e. - get the right doctor, the right tests, and the right treatment plan) or you can just give up and let you’re one and only life pass you by.

was it hard at times? you better believe it. I was a basketcase at times, got close to being fired because I was only at 25% capacity when I am use to working at 200%, had major issues with my loving wife, no energy to spend time with my kids, it was horrible… but I am on a good treatment plan (because of all of those irrelevant tests as you call them).

I got through it because I had faith that God had a plan and purpose for my life, and that being miserable wasn’t it. Hopefully, I can help others not give up and see things through to the end.

I truly wish you the best.

acuerpado · January 6, 2011, 7:09pm

Reading this thread has been therapeutic for me. I’m 29 and have been dealing with low sex drive for a year and a half now. I was only diagnosed 3 months ago with low T. T therapy hasn’t helped yet.

This has been my darkest week. I’ve been off testosterone for a month now in order to give my new endocrinologist accurate blood tests. My T level was down to 100 last week. I have no energy, no interest in sex, and I’m very irritable. I feel the need to masturbate not because I’m horny, but rather because I want to show myself I can get an erection.

DeterminedNate’s comments on sex as the driving force in life really hit home for me. I’ve realized that so much of my sense of self-worth is tied up in my sex drive.

On one hand, I want to seek psychological counseling. Yet I feel that my mental problems are a direct result of my medical condition. Can a psychologist treat a problem with hormonal roots?

Bricknyce · January 6, 2011, 7:23pm

I have a genius idea for you, the OP – go to a competent doctor who deals with TRT.

MOST insurance companies don’t cover clomid for males, and all or nearly all cover TRT. I’ve been through FOUR or FIVE different insurance companies throughout the past NINE years and they ALL covered TRT (injections and gels and now Testopel (next week for me)).

Don’t plan on ever having a normal libido without normal T values.

Bricknyce · January 6, 2011, 7:25pm

I really love guys who pride themselves in:

Switching from doctor to doctor to doctor.
Are non-compliant with medication.
Jump from medication to medication to medication.
And give absolutely NO TIME for medication to work.

Bricknyce · January 6, 2011, 7:31pm

[quote]DeterminedNate wrote:
I’m never an advocate of just giving up, but don’t you think that conducting these obscure blood tests is grasping for straws ? Aside from the major tests necessary to test for low testosterone, testing all the other minor hormones seems like an exercise in futility, not to mention a major hit to the wallet. I mean really, do you think my libido is related to a magnesium deficiency?

I definitely respect and admire the zest some of you have for solving this… but after treatment my blood tests showed that I’m pretty much fine, hormonally. I know everyone here questions the idea of a “normal range,” but when there’s nothing glaring on the bloodwork, there’s not a whole lot you can do - libido-wise. And I’m talking strictly about libido here. TRT succeeded in giving me healthy hormonal levels, but unfortunately my libido did not come back with it.

This has been a six year odyssey that I’ve been fed up with it, so forgive me for not remembering exact blood work scores or TRT regimens.

Off hand some of the products I’ve used are androgel, testim and clomid. All made my testosterone shoot through the roof, but the sexual reincarnation never occurred.

I’ve also explored the “mental” side of this issue, and I’m sure there are some factors coming into play, but at a certain point you’ve got to come to grips with the cold, hard fact that you will never be the same.

Self acceptance seems to be the only viable solution at this point.

[/quote]

Have you ever thought of the genius idea of going to a competent doctor who doesn’t engage in the TRT sophistry discussed on the web? That will save you a shitload of time and money and get you on the right track in a hurry!

I really don’t get it - men knowing they have a fucking medical condition, but choose to mentally masturbate on here, all the while not being compliant or patient with medication and/or seeking REAL medical attention.

I’ve sent guys to the right doctors; they made an appointment as soon as they could, got prescribed the right medication, and were on the road to recovery in WEEKS!

One guy on here who I sent to my doc was feeling good in a MONTH, and after having a terribly dull and near non-existent sex life for years, is now chasing his wife around (with that “god-awful” Testim and those pellets that SUPPOSEDLY and MYSTERIOUSLY cause problems or don’t work in nearly everyone who takes them).

Actually, make that two guys (because another one on here is on the pellets and feeling VERY good from what he emailed me).

Bricknyce · January 6, 2011, 7:33pm

[quote]acuerpado wrote:
Reading this thread has been therapeutic for me. I’m 29 and have been dealing with low sex drive for a year and a half now. I was only diagnosed 3 months ago with low T. T therapy hasn’t helped yet.

This has been my darkest week. I’ve been off testosterone for a month now in order to give my new endocrinologist accurate blood tests. My T level was down to 100 last week. I have no energy, no interest in sex, and I’m very irritable. I feel the need to masturbate not because I’m horny, but rather because I want to show myself I can get an erection.

DeterminedNate’s comments on sex as the driving force in life really hit home for me. I’ve realized that so much of my sense of self-worth is tied up in my sex drive.

On one hand, I want to seek psychological counseling. Yet I feel that my mental problems are a direct result of my medical condition. Can a psychologist treat a problem with hormonal roots? [/quote]

Men with a level of 100 would be crying in a doc’s office, as I was at a level of 240 ng/dl at 22 yrs old! Your problem stems from your medical condition.

How can a shrink prescribe what’s needed to fix hypogonadism?

DeterminedNate · January 6, 2011, 7:40pm

[quote]PureChance wrote:
look, I have been in almost the exact same boat, I had 5 years of feeling worse and worse, then sought treatment and had to fight my way through 8 doctors and 16+ blood tests over two+ years to get where I am at… and you know what?? It can get better IF you find the root of your problem and address it.