And so much of this boils down to people feeling like they NEED a relationship that they’ll just have one with ANYONE. And I feel this speaks to just how incomplete so many individuals are that they’re hoping some other human will fill the void of their own existence.
Its a sad state of existential angst that is the byproduct of a refusal to engage in any meaningful introspection.
And then I think of the children that were produced as some sort of “hail Mary” to “save” these doomed relationships. And don’t think those children won’t grow up to become purposeless adults who just perpetuate the cycle.
Brickhead is typically the one who will engage in a prolonged discussion. That and I’ve been regularly talking with him on the forums for longer than I’ve been talking to anyone else on here.
If you’d like to discuss this topic with me I’d be all ears.
Woaaaah woaaaahhh woooooaaaaahhhhh! I’ll still be empty inside… girlfriend or not! (Joking)
Have you seen how often I am at odds with brickhead?
I like talking to him because he remains civil, doesn’t resort to ad hominem attacks, gaslighting nor does he try to shut down my position even if it vehemently goes against the grain of the ideologies he may harbour.
Finding someone like this is a rarity on the internet.
I don’t mind you saying this but I cannot remember the last post in which I’ve mentioned my past clinical depression, which now at 42, I can pinpoint the exact causes of, which will not be introduced to my own children. I have recently commented on gender dynamics, marriage, and dating generally, not even much about myself at all. And a good chunk of that talk, which might be perceived as discontent, has been on actual aggressions on the family unit.
Many a times I’ve found those who delve into political radicalism tend to harbour extreme beliefs imposed through personal anecdote or indoctrination
Have a family friend who was always quite right wing. Following Australia’s lockdowns, his business took a hit amongst other variables.
The premier in charge of our state was and is a vein, authoritarian, power hungry quasi socialist (about as left as Bernie). This swung him towards the depths of the “alt lite” and now he will rally towards one side and one side only no matter the subject matter at hand. To him, the left are at fault for all the worlds problems
And when I’ve asked “why do you hate THIS guy so much, there are others far worse”. He said “they don’t affect me… this one does”.
This has unfortunately left him with a very narrow view of the world.
I think the events we witness growing up shape who we eventually become. The way we internalise and deal with trauma can dictate whether these events eventuate a positive or negative outcome
Just imagine the poor other half in these relationships. I signed up for a complete human! It’s the life equivalent of opening up your chocolate rabbit on easter and finding out it’s hollow.
And I don’t mean to attack you, but I believe your views are skewed by experiences that were personal, but which you’ve generalized to society.
I track narratives for a living. I’ve been here with you since what, 2007? Weighing my experiences and those of the people I encounter against yours and posters like @angry_chicken and @orion. I remember you before you became angry, and then I remember you beginning to form the ideas you carry today, which ultimately ended with you taking a long break from the boards because you were getting too worked up.
I like you and respect you, and I very much admire the changes you’ve made in yourself, particularly as I have also had to make sweeping changes, but in this particular arena I disagree with you. I wouldn’t argue with you, but there always seems to be someone younger trying to make life decisions (once it was you for me), and I think it’s important to balance your views.
In my first year of sobriety it was suggested that I forgo any relationships or hook ups and just try to figure out who I am and what’s inside, so I did.
There is some stuff missing, a few things got busted up along the way, but over all nothing terrible or downright evil.
At the time I kinda groused at the idea but did it anyways.
Right. Which is why you’re being warned in this thread not to do that. Not that a bad date is a trauma, of course, but you know what I mean. Avoid blanket statements and beliefs. Shrug and move on when you encounter a difficult person.
Some of the stuff that has helped me a lot along the way goes like this:
There are 2 axioms of fear.
Fear of not getting what you want.
Fear of losing what you have.
They are both very powerful driving forces in people’s thoughts and actions.
Now it looks like your family friend has realized both, attributed to this political figure.
So a lot of people meet fear with anger but that doesn’t solve the fear, and it becomes a resentment.
Now fear and resentment are controlling factors in this guys thoughts and actions. It distorts perceptions and creates a malignancy of entire subjects, groups of people, and as it grows- an entire world view.
That’s why anger, even justified anger, can be so dangerous. It’s easily converted into self righteous anger, and even breaks out into rage and violence.
Hence the warnings about tossing around labels so easily.
What people call alt-right or rabid left aren’t actually political ideologies at all. They’re just different flavors of fear driven anger and resentment.
Fun fact: several years ago, a few major retailers over here had to recall all their hollow chocolate bunnies because a disgruntled employee hid some small, swallowable batteries inside them.
I will admit I tend to check out of threads when they become the unreal and brick show. My impressions from skim reading other threads have been that you disagree with him on stuff that pertains to other people (arranged marriage etc.), but agree fairly firmly on the things that pertain to yourself (like how difficult it is for guys these days). I apologise if I’ve misread that, as I say, I tend to check out of these threads when they head in a certain direction.
I like to think myself and many others who’ve interacted with you in this thread do the same. Apart from gaslighting, because I’m old and I don’t know what that means. If you can point to where I’ve done any of the above, I’ll happily apologise.
I find most people I interact with act well. This may be because I spend very little time in PWI forums though.
I’m cutting down because I’m losing energy and enthusiasm. I think know unreal and much of the board are nice people but the “agree to disagree” thing gets old after awhile.
Actually I’m trying to cut down but certain topics spark my interest obviously.
