I did not see that. I will take a look. I am a millennial by the way.
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Yes or no. I think to a great degree their behavior is understandable and predictable. But yes, I understand how individual preferences will vary between women.
Wishful thinking.
My understanding is that according to science the greatest sign that people are attracted to you is if you are physically attractive.
Listen bro, I know that youâve been on this forum for a few years. You seem like a very intelligent guy, but you donât seem to understand social interaction or social cues very well. I understand how certain things can be confusing, but the fact of the matter is that if you had game or if you at least had a good understanding of social interaction, you wouldnât be asking these questions.
You are right that a man is taking a certain risk in this day and age if he goes out and has drinks with a girl he barely knows, and they hook up. She could potentially have regrets and file charges. I think the reality of that happening is actually very low, and less she feels cheated or manipulated. If itâs someone who you know fairly well, I think thereâs a less likelihood of it happening.
That being said, what I gather from reading some of your comments in this thread is that you are way too analytical. That comes in handy in certain areas in life, but not when it comes to dating and relationships. Also, just generally speaking, youâre just way too much in your head.
If you ask a girl to go out and have drinks with you, and she agrees, I think she at least has some attraction to you and in most cases she understands social norms well enough to understand the implications of going out and having drinks with a guy. Granted, not always.
I think that you are way too focused on sex and when you can get something out of it. So in that sense, it seems like you look at women and relationships transactionally. And I think that is a problem. I mean based on what youâre saying, itâs as though it doesnât matter so much that youâre dealing with a living breathing human being here. What matters is that you go out and do x, and you get sex out of it.
I think you need to ask yourself what youâre looking for. Are you looking for casual hookups or a relationship? If youâre looking for a casual hookup, then I guess carry on. The problem is that if you approach a relationships transactionally, and you end up finding a girl you like, it might be problematic that from the beginning you were treating her transactionally. When people are with other people for transactional reasons, donât get upset when people leave you for transactional reasons.
All that being said, I think if youâre going out with a girl and she is attracted to you, I think the guy is supposed to try to move things forward. I mean ultimately you are trying to hook up with her. You can invite her back to your place or ask her if you can go back to her place. And try to escalate things. Either sheâs going to agree to it or not. I think in a lot of cases women already make a decision prior to going out about whether they want to hook up or not. Obviously, if at any point you get a definite no or anything like a definite no, you have to comply. You donât have to apologize for your desires, but you have to respect that.
Hopefully some of this was meaningful. I realized that things are very complicated out there. Dating isnât what it was a few decades ago or even a few years ago.
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He is very intelligent, but he is also autistic. Most autistic people have a difficult time understanding social cues.
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Not really. Iâve seen it happen too many times.
No, but ugly ass form and ego-lifting are a turn-off.
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Next time just @me 
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To most, no.
To some, yes.
I feel like thatâs honestly a given though. At what point in time does one really need to think THAT hard about it.
Personally, I cared for all of maybe 5 mins until I learned to appreciate whatever expressions of ability men (or women) have as just humans.
I can appreciate powerlifters, strongmen, swimmers, gymnasts, runners, ballet, piano, guitar, artistry, etc.
My husband has gone from fat to lanky and can still move a couch by himself if needed. Heâs capable, and gets shit done. I have no complaints there.
But I also can admire his particular sport. At no point in time do I go, âMan I wish my husband could bench press 225, or squat over 500lbs, or log press, or throw stones, or do a crap ton of pullupsâ, when I witness him at his BMX tournaments doing half-cabs, bar spins, or doing 180s/360s/540s in mid air coming up out of an empty underground pool.
When I see him doing that I just think, âHeâs badass.â
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Exactly. My husband simply cannot understand why people work out. Theyâre either hamsters on a wheel or someone picking something up and then putting it down for no discernible reason. Why wouldnât they go move something for a purpose? So he takes down trees, moves them with a machine into big piles, then later takes them off the piles, cuts them into pieces, and stacks them into new piles, which he later moves again. Or moves rocks to a pile, then disperses them into retaining walls or whatever.
Heâs not aesthetically pleasing in the way of bodybuilders, but he is strong and I do like the way he looks (strong, lol). I worry about his cardio fitness. But he is who he is, and he doesnât judge me (much) for wanting to run on a wheel or pick things up and put them down.
I think you could ask this of any hobby or trait. Do I care how much a guy reads? Well, yes. But not enough for it to really matter. The person as a whole is the important thing.
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I feel like lots of men join the gym to impress girls but by the time theyâve been consistant for 6 months itâs often more about impressing the other dudes. By the time youâve hit 2 years+, itâs more about impressing yourself.
At least, that was my journey.
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