Disagreement with Family Member

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161

[quote]Kanada wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]ghost87 wrote:

[quote]lewhitehurst wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]lewhitehurst wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
[/quote]

I said it the first time and I was right. Your brother IS an asshole. I know the type…lying in wait to offer their opinion. This shit doesn’t materialize in an instant like that…this shit bubbles under the surface. The tension was there…he was hiding behind a bush waiting to speak his piece and as I said before - your parenting of YOUR children and medical decisions ARE NONE OF HIS BUSINESS.

And LOL about the whole theme of women having their place and such…and I thought I was a neanderthal.

LOL @ “get her out of my house”.

I’d leave, never to return. Fuck him.
[/quote]

I’m the original poster. You are absolutely right. There was tension the days leading up to the blow up. For example, my brother and his wife put on a party for my boys. My boys were hungry and wanted a yogurt. He refused to give them one, stating “you can wait until dinner- it will spoil your appetites.” dinner wasnt ready for more than an hour later. for those With kids, who haven’t eaten for several hours, you will know it’s a brutal experience with hungry hot kids. This was one example of the tension building up.

162

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
Show of hands: How many people in this thread have severed ties with a close family member, meaning siblings, parents or kids?

How many who say f* em have ever done that and lived with that decision for a couple of decades or more?

This is turning into a thread of “what I would do” with little show what I have done.[/quote]

I have. After I agreed to buy my brothers house (he had one here and one in Fla.), and about 30k into it he decided to change the terms and the price. What he didn’t realize was that the housing market had crashed and I could get a nice house for one third of what he was asking.

So as it shook down he decided to sue me (unsuccessfully) for no apparent reason and for an arbitrary amount. Instead of going after him for a return of equity, I simply told him to go fuck himself and the rest of our family has followed suit.

To date, I can’t be sure whether or not he has in fact fucked himself, because we haven’t spoken since I told him I bought a different place, and he told me I was a fucking asshole and that he was suing me.

I also laid a pretty good ass whoopin on his attorney. (hehehe…dude should have gone to Duquesne instead of Pitt. Even the magistrate laughed at him for that.)

163

OP,

All I can suggest is work on getting more regular contact with your parents and siblings, sans the brother in question. Let them know how great the kids are doing and the occasional problems that arise and are worked through. Let the brother sulk all he wants. He will soon enough find himself the one on the outside.

Best of luck and never stay at his house, or split costs on a condo for a vacation or anything. Keep sites neutral or on your terms.

Cutting someone out of your family is difficult. If your kids have little attachment to him, all the better. You will bear the burden there, and there it should stay. This is not about what your wife did, it is about protecting your family. In the end it may be better for your family to minimize your brothers influence in your family’s but you should really try to get your parents to better speaking terms.

I do not know if the event is worth bringing up. There seems, from what you told, to be pattern enough in your brother’s behavior for all to understand the situation if they choose.

Again, good luck.

164

[quote]ghost87 wrote:

[quote]Kanada wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]ghost87 wrote:

[quote]lewhitehurst wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]lewhitehurst wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
[/quote]

I said it the first time and I was right. Your brother IS an asshole. I know the type…lying in wait to offer their opinion. This shit doesn’t materialize in an instant like that…this shit bubbles under the surface. The tension was there…he was hiding behind a bush waiting to speak his piece and as I said before - your parenting of YOUR children and medical decisions ARE NONE OF HIS BUSINESS.

And LOL about the whole theme of women having their place and such…and I thought I was a neanderthal.

LOL @ “get her out of my house”.

I’d leave, never to return. Fuck him.
[/quote]

I’m the original poster. You are absolutely right. There was tension the days leading up to the blow up. For example, my brother and his wife put on a party for my boys. My boys were hungry and wanted a yogurt. He refused to give them one, stating “you can wait until dinner- it will spoil your appetites.” dinner wasnt ready for more than an hour later. for those With kids, who haven’t eaten for several hours, you will know it’s a brutal experience with hungry hot kids. This was one example of the tension building up.
[/quote]

Screw them ! My Mother and Father in Law were staying with us a while back. I tolerate my Father in Law, cause my girls LOVE the guy. I put UP with his wife, only cause he won’t come here alone, and she is my wife’s mom. :slight_smile: We have a 10 year old daughter who needs food in her system continually so she doesn’t crash from low blood sugar. One day they were staying, was a day off school. The girls usually eat around 7 AM, and you know, low blood sugar kids wake up with just THAT, and need to eat when they get up…something…
So, the girls sleep in, my wife goes to work, I stay late, and it comes to 8:45. I hollar to the girls, “Girls, its time you ate something…we usually have had breakfast almost two hours ago, and I know you are both on Empty. (thinking, eat now, before daughter has melt down crash.)” To this, my bitty Mother in Law says something like, “oh, calm down and don’t be such a control freak and be flexible.” She did not die that day…but…I almost put her in the ground. Grandparents think there is little possibility that their children know as much as they do, much less any more. Yet, they had no internet, and had half the info out there that we do.

165

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
Show of hands: How many people in this thread have severed ties with a close family member, meaning siblings, parents or kids?

How many who say f* em have ever done that and lived with that decision for a couple of decades or more?

This is turning into a thread of “what I would do” with little show what I have done.[/quote]

I have. After I agreed to buy my brothers house (he had one here and one in Fla.), and about 30k into it he decided to change the terms and the price. What he didn’t realize was that the housing market had crashed and I could get a nice house for one third of what he was asking.

So as it shook down he decided to sue me (unsuccessfully) for no apparent reason and for an arbitrary amount. Instead of going after him for a return of equity, I simply told him to go fuck himself and the rest of our family has followed suit.

To date, I can’t be sure whether or not he has in fact fucked himself, because we haven’t spoken since I told him I bought a different place, and he told me I was a fucking asshole and that he was suing me.

I also laid a pretty good ass whoopin on his attorney. (hehehe…dude should have gone to Duquesne instead of Pitt. Even the magistrate laughed at him for that.)
[/quote]

I don’t care who you are, thass funny !!!

People always say, “Don’t do business with family.” It’s NOT due to how they treat you as a family member, at all. The problem comes when you find out how poorly they treat everyone !!!
Including you.

Agree with above, have relationship with parents. But for siblings…no requirement. Parents raised you, they deserve respect…siblings stole your clothes !!!