Did I Come on Too Strong?

Off Topic
1

Here’s the scene: I’m sipping a cosmopolitan at my fave haunt, “Smokin’ Joe’s Firepole” (which I’m told, used to be a hangout for firemen but was taken over by the gay community due to the cheeky name). It’s a Thursday, and I’m cruisin’ for dudes. Along with me is my BFF Miranda, who possesses one of the most acute gay-dars in the world. Mine is a bit out of whack sometimes, so I rely on her to separate the wheat from the chaff for me. Another sip of cranberry-infused ambrosia, and I see him, all the way across the bar…

Hip-hugging skinny jeans? CHECK!

Gemstone-encrusted tanktop that says “Loverboi”? CHECK!

Gravity-defying hairdo held in place with 200ccs of “BedHead Manipulator”? CHECK!!

Pointy, faux-alligator shoes tapping in tune to the Pet Shop Boys? DOUBLE CHECK!!

I sick Miranda on him. She chats him up a bit, and comes back with her verdict.

“You sure he plays for my team?” I ask.

“He’s as gay as a rainbow-braided ‘My Little Pony’” she replies.

My heart was beating faster than Liberace sews sequins onto his robe. He looked like a strong, strapping sort of lad, so I thought a firm handshake would be the most appropriate of greetings.

“Ouch, don’t hurt me” he replied.

I walk away, completely dejected. I verbally chastise Miranda, but she assures me her judgment is spot on and that he plays for team gherkin. Upon closer scrutiny I think I just came on too strong. He just had such big, inviting hands…the type that know how to hug.

Thoughts? Is this salvageable?

2

I lol’d

3

I cried, tho not sure why

4

Thanks for the shrinkage.

5

Thanks for making me have to swallow my own vomit

6

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
Thanks for making me have to swallow my own semen[/quote]

7

Okay, I’ve gotten tired of all the parody and take off threads, but this one was pretty good.

8

[quote]Dustin wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
Thanks for making me have to swallow my own semen[/quote]
[/quote]

Ah…I see what you did there. A parody post within a parody thread. You must have just seen Inception to have such knowledge of multi-levelness.

9

I agree. This is pretty, pretty, pretty good.

10

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]Dustin wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
Thanks for making me have to swallow my own semen[/quote]
[/quote]

Ah…I see what you did there. A parody post within a parody thread. You must have just seen Inception to have such knowledge of multi-levelness.[/quote]

Actually, I just thought, “how would DBCooper respond to this post”, and that is what popped in my head.

11

I wouldn’t take it personally. Chances are you were the third guy that night to try that.

Try being more original next time.