Friends,
I don’t have many people in my life who I can ask about this. My wife thinks its weird.
I have a physiological response to loud sudden noises.
A kid drops their metal water bottle or sneezes dramatically and without warning? My whole body is shocked until I assess and determine the sound was not a threat.
A cacophony of sound, where the toddler is yelling and another kid is practicing violin and the dog is barking?
I have to leave the room or go outside.
Is this normal?
I used to be a 20-something dad of multiples. I can’t remember being this sensitive.
I worked around loud metal clanging stuff. People shout, they blare music - I don’t think I reacted in my 20s.
It’s like I’ve become hypersensitive to noises (while also losing my hearing enough to make conversation difficult).
I was in the military - high pressure technical operations, no combat. Things happened fast and loud and you assessed and stayed cool and made fast decisions. Being paralyzed by a loud metal clang back then would have disqualified me.
I’ll tag @atlas13 and @taylortooswift who know that work environment. @alex_uk is a dad with lots of pressure. @simo74 is EVERYONE’S dad lol @Frank_C @T3hPwnisher
I’ve been inactive enough not to really have a sense of who else here may have a perspective. Feel free to tag them in.
So THIS exact thing was one of my hypgonadism symptoms. As in, it went away almost instantly once I got my testosterone sorted.
No joke: one time, my kid dropped their metal water bottle on the hardwood floor and I legit started sobbing. I was terrified. Otherwise, everyone tip toed around me in the house, because a sudden noise would cause me to jump 3 feet straight in the air. I was like a terrified housecat.
It’s because I was effectively in a perpetual state of fight or flight. Incredibly elevated cortisol as a result of stupidly low testosterone. Same reason I couldn’t sleep for longer than 20 minutes at a pop.
Basically, sounds are elevated. They’re SO much louder than they actually are. Once I got things sorted out, I noticed how much quieter things are.
If you haven’t: I’d strongly consider a metabolic panel.
No sudden reaction to loud noise, but that maybe because I am so old I don’t hear them. I do however have a flinch reaction when I see people hurt themselves, like fall over or a kids crashing their bike. I never had this reaction as a young man but now it is like I can physically feel the impact and my body reacts to it. Usually by a good on tightening in the never regions.
Pwn has some sound advise above and given my testosterone was pretty good last time I had it tested, this may well correlate with my I don’t flinch to noises.
Thanks for this. Glad to know I’m not alone.
Jeez, maybe you and i even talked about this a long time ago?
I had a full panel - including T - checked a couple years ago, and they said everything was fine…
What marker should I be looking at if I get a new panel done? Just T?
I definitely have this too, I feel it right in the taint! But its not the same as the noise reaction.
I have a thing with loud bang sounds, bad sounds (dull thuds like a head hitting an object, sink, tub, floor, etc) especially in bathrooms. All trigger a panick.
Being woken up by sudden noise, movement, even being approached while sleeping- all get a violent reaction.
Various other things like other people holding guns or knives. Doesn’t even have to be in a threatening manner, just someone holding or handling them- fight or flight, and flight is broken. As me & my therapist say- fight or fight response.
Vehicles are really bad. I have an antihistamine sedative for long drives. Especially people weaving or cutting or driving aggressively.
Anyways, yeah, its a mess. I don’t know how that may manifest with other people, but for me it comes out as violent panick. I’ve always been known as having a short fuse, high strung, hair trigger, or what ever because the stuff that caused it goes waaaay back.
I’m in therapy and take a low dose zoloft, which helps, except for the sleep thing. I’m not exactly conscious when that takes place.
I’m pretty good though around chippers, chainsaws, metal working equipment & stuff though. That high decibel droning or roar actually calms me down.
We definitely did. They said everything was fine, but what does that mean exactly? Did they share the results with you?
I’ll have to pull up my old labs (don’t have them on this computer) to find out everything that was out of whack, but testosterone was definitely the thing that stood out the most.
I’d say start with one variable at a time and address this one. Heck, low T is tied to so many negative things - depression, poor sleep, poor libido, and the list goes on.
I go to a clinic that sells hormone therapy so they’re looking for reasons to put you on something. But I guess that’s what I wanted because the average practitioner is going to use the scale of ‘normal’ and say you’re fine even if your total T is 201.
Total T, free T, bio available T. It’s all relevant but I’m not smart enough to make sense of it. Limitless Male is the franchise I use. I’m taking enclomiphene. And as I used Google to make sure I spelled that right, I got this definition if it:
“Enclomiphene is a non-steroidal estrogen receptor antagonist used off-label to treat secondary male hypogonadism by stimulating the body to produce its own testosterone and sperm.”
They never told me that, but described it as something that would stimulate natural T production instead of going the exogenous TRT route. I’ve responded to it and feel pretty good that my body is still doing it’s thing. And for reference, my T levels were about 590 and they still thought I could use a little help because of all the other variables. That’s well within the normal levels so a more conservative doc might not do anything.
I’d add albumin, SHGB, test, free test, estrogen, DHT and prolactin. I get 20 plus things tested, but those seem to be the key ones.
On topic, I’d include @EmilyQ. my wife has always been this way. Part childhood trauma, part genetics and exacerbated by second hand trauma from what we’ve gone through in last few years.
I never had it up until recently, again due to second hand trauma. It’s a fight or flight response for us.
This feels like maybe my track. Im not sure what kind of trauma can cause this. I’ve been through some hard things and have no frame of reference against which to calibrate whether my hypersensitivity is “normal”.
Are you willing to share? Or we can communicate privately, I’m pretty easy to find having given contact info here a few times.
I wouldn’t say I experience what your talking about, but I do react to loud noises made by kids (manifests as me occasionally shouting, which isn’t a usual reaction for me, when I joined the fire service they basically had to drill shouting into me). I think mine is predominantly a lack of sleep and rest issue, I’ve got a lower tolerance for noise and everything seems amplified.
Of course lack of sleep also lowers your T (I’ve been on T for 9 years this year) and so those 2 things aren’t unrelated.
How’s your sleep? I know you’ve got a whole lot of busyness and get up super early for work and have kids!
T wise total, free, shgb I think are absolute minimum. I get a private full panel each year, if you can afford it I think it’s worth it, I’m 40 this year so it’s helpful to track trends, and check everything is functioning as it ought to be.
To echo some of the other dudes - I think its a cortisol/stress response. I have the exact same symptoms when I am pushing everything in life too hard and not being diligent about recovery. My girlfriend will hug me from behind and I’ll jump across the kitchen, or the dog will bark and it will sound like a gunshot went off.
I’ve read your log enough to know you are a BUSY dude - work, family, training, everything. I say this with compassion but I think you are finally starting to see the bill come due for all of that. Now unfortunately I can’t help you there, I have fewer responsibilities and all it takes to get me sorted is a few nights of good food and good sleep. But I think you should be looking at the causes in addition to the symptoms.
The relaxation response is worth a look. In a nutshell, you develop it by practicing relaxation: 1) Focus on a repeated word, phrase, breath, or action, and 2) taking a passive attitude toward the thoughts that run through your head. Spending 5-10 minutes at this several times a week (could use the Headspace app or whatever) may go a long way toward allowing you to take a deep breath and feel your stress level come down. It should also help with over-arousal in the first place, though I’m not sure to what extent.
I’ve always thought running was my meditative time (with Eminem blasting in my ears), but was fraying during early Covid because the people willing to do telehealth were in such bad shape while family members were out of work and etc. Headspace sent me a free subscription and although I assumed I would find no benefit in it, I wound up curling up around it because it was soothing, and it sort of changed my life. Insomnia is much, much better for me now. When I’m stressed I can take a deep breath and feel myself calming, and I can also control thought spirals better. I rarely meditate - I pay for the app now so that when clients come into my office gulping air or crying I can offer to play a 3 minute panic/grounding meditation - which has never yet failed to calm them enough for us to talk.
I came across an article about Benson in 2021 when I was unpacking my stuff at a new office, and was surprised to realize, reading it, that I’d developed a relaxation response
Again, I do NOT regularly meditate. I just know now how it feels, and seem to be able to access that through briefly paying attention to my breathing.
I understand what you are dealing with. I spent 13 years in central asia, Iraq, and Africa, hearing everything from small arms fire to rockets and air strikes. I cannot tolerate loud noise, I cannot deal with sporting events or concerts, makes me extremely edgy. When I train CQB classes or firearms , I have to have the best hearing protection available. The worst thing for me is fireworks on holidays. I cannot stop thinking about a rocket attack. I deal with it to function, but, it never goes away for me, so, mentally, I just adopt a “fuck it attitude” Hang in there, there is nothing wrong with you.
I teach this to my 9th graders. Every stressor is a stimulus. Our body responds with what many call the fight or flight response. This isn’t inherently a bad thing. There are good examples such as that feeling one might get before the starting gun goes off for the 100m sprint in track.
Most of us are familiar with it on a large scale - a mountain lion walks in front of your during your evening walk, for example. But our body responds the same way if Pam from accounting works walks in the room with a loud and annoying laugh. It’s a minor annoyance, but our body still releases cortisol to break down stored fuel because it’s been stimulated. Combine this with a work deadline, busy schedule outside of work, and and other responsibilities and you could find yourself in a constant stress response. This results in chronically elevated levels of cortisol and all the bad things that comes with it.
Another thing it can due is trigger hunger, specifically cravings for carbs. Your body doesn’t know that you didn’t fight off a bear in the Pam scenario. It thinks you did so you need to refuel for the next battle. I wrote a blog thingy years ago about how this impacts police officers (and their waistline).
This is something we all face. I think the key is recognizing where you’re at and taking steps to minimize the impact. You don’t actually need that bag of chips after a stressful morning of work. It’s a trick. As for the cortisol part, one of the best ways to reduce circulating levels of cortisol is low intensity exercise. Moderate and high intensity exercise are less effective. Start going for short walks or low intensity bike rides (or something else you enjoy).
As for the PTSD side of things. I’m not sure if I have it or not, but I’m different than I was when I entered law enforcement in 2010. I left in 2021 but the changes are still present. I’m not sure if it’s what I saw and dealt with at work or if becoming a parent did it. My main change is that I used to be a freaking stone pillar with my emotions and now I cry at Disney movies and sappy videos on the Internet. Music can do it, too. I love this song but it’ll do it…
I have a few former Seal, Ranger and Marine Recon friends, from living and training BJJ in DFW area. Due to that, I never considered what I was feeling or going through to be serious, as they had experienced real horrors. It’s taken me a bit to process through what and why. Without going into detail, I can summarize the key themes:
My wife and I voluntarily decided to support victims of abuse. We could at anypoint walk away hands clean from the situation, up until..
It led to civil and criminal court proceedings, with us testifying
We then had to relocate for our safety, including walking away from a company I started, family, friends and my home
The above happened two more times as our information was released
I was then stuck in a situation where I could not escape 10+ people/groups in my life, on average 4-5 times in my house a month, financial audits, subpoenas to my person and my communication, etc.
All the while, I’m trying to support victims who have no framework for healthy living and ‘abuse’ those who are protecting them (me)
This all lasted 5.5 years.
There was a constant feeling of control. People were invasive and demanding. There was no concern for my life. Everything was put on hold for their demands, including my work life. I probably told them I will lose my job if I miss a day due to their last minute demand 20,000 times (I did in fact lose one of my jobs. I wasn’t ever written up. I was just told not a good fit, because I seemed distracted. This was a dream job, high level chief of staff position). The two worst things were how I was treated like a criminal throughout, including someone saying “you’re way less sinister than I thought you’d be”. My wife and I were separated dozens of times, while they interviewed her to make sure I wasn’t abusive. They did this because my wife suffered from crippling anxiety after going through all of this, so I took care of all communication. Which is the second worst part of all this, aside from the victims ‘abusing’ us, I then spent any time that wasn’t working, dealing with all of these groups or my job, reassuring my wife that we would be ok.
The result is I went from being incredibly capable of managing numerous demands at one time to, if I am focusing on something and someone knocks on my office door, texts me, calls me, sneezes, etc. I lose my shit.
