Dad Given Weeks to Live

Off Topic
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I’m sorry for your loss Jack. I think about my relationship with my father a lot lately. My uncle has terminal cancer and only has about 6 months to go. I never had much of a relationship with him so when I found out that he was dying, I immediately began to regret the fact that we didn’t get along, mostly due to me. So I’ve used this experience to build a better, more intimate and tangible relationship with my father. You never know when someone might go. It sounds like you and your father had a good relationship, despite all this unfortunate business with his wife and kids.

I’m hardly one to offer words of wisdom to anyone on this site, but I think that one of the worst things about the death of a loved one is the possibility that you haven’t vocalized your love for this person and really told them how much they mean to you before it is too late. But it sounds to me Jack like you have had that opportunity, so perhaps you can look to that as a source of comfort in these times, especially when taking into consideration all that bullshit with his wife. It’s not important what they think. What matters is that your dad died knowing how much you loved him and what he meant to you.

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Jack that broad in her jaw.

63

Hey man,

When I was in high school, my mom fought breast cancer and finally beat it afew years into my college years. She then found out in the summer of '07 she had bone cancer. She died dec 4th 2007 at 57 years young, and was buried exactly a week before my 25th birthday.

The months after were ridiculous for my family. The emotions surrounding the situation were more than most of the family could handle. I was lucky to have friends around me that supported me. The funeral was very awkward for me, until most of the LSU powerlifting team came to see me and I was able to spend time with them. These people had seen me get worked up before and didnt want to see it again. This was less than a year after one of my fraternity bros. drove himself into the river and died. It was a rough year.

When she died, we had all said our goodbyes, and tried to move on. But there are always problems, from money troubles, to people thinking a spouse is moving on too fast, to hundreds of other problems.

Eventually I had to be the one to put the rest of the family in their place, and get the whole situation settled. This was porbably the day when I ceased to be a kid in most of their eyes. It might not ever be said, but there are others in your family that will look to you for strength and guidance, you have to be strong for them, and in your helping them, they will help you to get over it as well.

I can tell you that it does get easier, but pain never goes away. I dove into my lifting and my daily life to be sure i didnt do anything stupid from the hurt…i have a self destructive side, and my friends who know me well made sure it didnt come out. I have two passions in my life, lifting and music. There are two songs that always make me think of her and when they come on I get chills and memories rush over me. You just have to focus on the good ones, and whenever I think about TRUE STRENGTH, I think about her.

The best way I can describe her fight with cancer is to say that at the beginning she was broken but not beaten,…and at the end, she was beaten, but never broken. When she had breast cancer, she was still doing jazzercise three times a week, and working as much as she could.

IF you are wondering, the two songs are Killswitch Engage–Rose of Sharyn, and All That Remains–Not Alone.
Even if you don’t like metal, check out the lyrics.

Hope my story and words help you.

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[quote]Jack Urboady wrote:
Two weeks I found out my old man has cancer of the stomach. Last week I found out it’s terminal. Today I found out he only has weeks left. This has pretty much devastated me and it’s hard to get back into the flow of life. I’ve literally been walking about in a daze since I heard.

My dad is my best mate and the thought of never seeing him again is too much too bear. It’s made worse by the fact I have 2 small brothers (10 and 6) who dont even really know whats going on. They will when he goes though and that leaves a hefty lump in my throat.

Its fucking weird though the coping strategies that you adopt when you hear life changing news. I don’t think there’s any one way to deal with this. You just have to get on with it

I don’t even know why I’m posting this. Maybe it relieves some of the stress that this has brought on and i’m subliminally looking for support. Sorry to sound like a total woos but I honestly thought I led a charmed life.

I love you Dad.[/quote]

I’m so sorry to hear this. you and your father and family will be in my prayers. Tell him what he has done for you and how much he means to you. As a parent, it’s great to hear that. It means your life amounted to something.

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I am sorry for your loss. We all grieve differently and for different lengths. Sometimes we have be forgiving of others during their grieving and hope others are forgiving during our own. Try not to hold a grudge. You are still your father’s son. Continue to make him proud.