[quote]patrickjones wrote:
I love ranch dressing…on female genitalia[/quote]
man ranch?
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
When I was around 11 or 12, I randomly threw a brick across the play area of our backyard. It hit my younger brother on the side of his skull. When his bloody screaming attracted the attention of my parents, “What happened? Who did THAT?” I blamed the neighbor boy. I then witnessed his mother beat the living shit out of him as he screamed like he was being murdered.
I still feel pangs of guilt about that… even after 30-odd years. [/quote]
Ha my new favorite
I wanted a relationship so much last year that I fabricated a relationship with a man for 8 months. When I broke up with him, he told me he could have seen himself spending the rest of his life with me. He doesn’t know that I never cared. I still hate talking to him because of the guilt.
Last time I was back home I arranged to lift with my old high school lifting coach, he’s won a few Masters shows. Well he called me at about 5:15 in the morning to remind me that we were lifting at 6. I was in the back of a car getting a blowie, so I told him I was gonna have to sit this one out as I felt like I was coming down with something.
I once took out a Bambi and his group of cronies when they refused to remove themselves from the road. Yes that added another day to my 9,999,999,999 day long sentence in Hell.
I would buy booze and smokes for Jr High kids and sell it back to them at jacked up prices.
I would buy booze and smokes for Jr High kids and sell it back to them at jacked up prices.
[quote]polo77j wrote:
Liv92 wrote:
countingbeans wrote:
Cherrymennos wrote:
Liv92 wrote:
One time I was fucking my ex “doggy” style, and it slipped out (lol.) I went to put it back in, but I was in the moment so I didn’t realize that I jammed my cock in her ass. For a slight second I wondered why it felt so tight, I look down and seen that it was in her ass instead of her vagina. She jumped like 5 feet into the air and was crying for like 10 minutes. That day I, became a man.
Ps. that was a true story. 
Poor girl 
I bet that hurt like nothing else.
I bet she is fine, because it is either bullshit or he has a tiny penis.
No way a normal sized penis is “accidentally” penetrating someone’s ass without both parties noticing well before it is in.
Didn’t you read? I said I JAMMED it in there… plus condom’s have lubricant on them (not like you would know.) And both parties didn’t notice? Didn’t I just say she jumped in the air and was really crying?
Honestly, the way you told the story it seemed like a delayed reaction on her part. Like you had all this time to consider some differences in your mind (like wondering why it was so tight and looking down) … I’d imagine if she were THAT surprised you really wouldn’t have time to a.) wonder ANYTHING and b.) look down to confirm that, in fact, you were in her ass BEFORE she jumped 5 feet.
Let’s just say your story is “full of holes” :)[/quote]
It kinda all just happened at the same time. Sometimes I’m not very clear when I try to explain stuff. 
[quote]Growing_Boy wrote:
I would buy booze and smokes for Jr High kids and sell it back to them at jacked up prices. [/quote]
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha