Summary of request: you have had no experience/instruction in basic marksmanship much less defensive shooting/tactics and you would like advice on a weapon to purchase.
FIRST: get basic training and instruction before buying a gun. Go to the NRA website and look for instructors in your area. I highly recommend taking the Personal Protection in the Home and the ābasic classā for any style of firearm you are considering (pistol, shotgun,ā¦). It should run <$100 a class. SPEND THE MONEY. These classes are for recreational shooting. They will provide a solid, safe background. After taking them DO NOT think you are qualified to reliably shoot at any thing besides well-behaved paper at 7 yds much less clear your home at 2am.
During the classes try as many different self-defense qualified weapons as possible. These include pistols (semi-auto and revolvers) of 9mm or .38 or larger in caliber and shotguns (12 or 20 gauge pump). After the classes, go to your local shooting ranges and rent these types of weapons again (and different ones from what you shot). Taking notes on what feels best in your hands to shoot and manipulate. If you stick with brand name manufactures for the gun (pistols: Glock, HK, Sig, S&W revolvers,? or shotguns: Remington, Mossberg, Winchester) use quality brand name ammo and keep your gear clean, it will go BANG when you need it to. It doesn?t matter what people on the web like, it has to work for you. Don?t buy one without having fired at least 50 rounds through the same or closely related model.
Do not think that when something goes bump in the night, raking a slide will make it go away. If that is your impression: stop reading this thread, buy a big dog, lift more and take up boxing. Make sure your classes have covered the local legal aspects of purchasing, ownership and use in self-defense of a gun. Listen very closely to the instructor on what it means to deploy a gun. Are you comfortable with the most severe outcome? If so, now you can consider purchasing a gun for defense. What gun?skip the fancy stuff and high dollar recommendations, get a good basic gun that?s comfortable to you. Then spend all the money you saved from not buying the Laser-Sighted Deathray 2000 with Optional Strawberry Sent on ammo and training.
Are you ready to defend your home and life, yet? NO, not with any level of confidence. Now go find some DEFENSIVE shooting classes. Figure ~$150/day and 500 rounds, it?s worth it. You will not believe the difference it will make. Also take a low-light class.
Guns are not magic talismans. They are tools that must be employed with skill to be effective. Shooting is a perishable skill. Defensive shooting even more so. You need to be prepared to practice and train on an on going basis. Otherwise your skills will deteriorate and you will miss, double clutch or generally brain fart when you need it the most. If you are not ready to make the commitment to invest time and money in your safety at this level, you are likely to endanger yourself with a false sense of security or poor gun handling. Learn what your weapon can you and what you can do with it.
To 911 Girl: I am an active pistol competitor in USPSA (IPSC). In the past 15+ years, I have shot various styles mostly steel challenge, NRA action (Bianchi Cup), and bullseye.