Thought I’d quote this back here, to have the discussion. Trying to figure out how each of your kids work is just about the hardest thing. It doesn’t help that we have pre conceived ideas as to how we think they should behave or think the should be like. My three are all so different and as he get older figuring them out and dealing with them gets harder. I am not sure about your position but our sons are same age so I will talk about my experience.
We have 3 kids, 2 girls then a boy. All are very different but if I was to think about it in the simple terms of how easy they are to parent, it would be in age order. Oldest was always easy right from birth, second was harder and my boy is harder again. Now thinking about that I wonder how much if that is more to do with how we as parents have coped with the extra work and stress of having more children. Just looking at it logically, 2 parents to 1 child = easy, 2 parents to 2 children harder but mostly manageable, 2 parent to 3 children much harder. You cant be in 2 places at once so you always feel like you are part parenting at least one of the kids.
So really how much of my sons issues are nature and how much is nurture ? We are trying hard to be consistent with him and use positive re-enforcement to develop good behavior patterns but its not easy and isn’t always working. Other than be better and keep trying not sure there is much more we can do.